First, I hope this finds you & your loved ones healthy, safe & well. We are all living through some truly difficult times. I know this is the worst time to ask for financial help as this year has been so hard for so many. At the urging of multiple friends, for years now for my spine, for which I never felt worthy of asking for help, and now after the Covid-19 pandemic has completely upended my life, I am finally doing a GoFundMe, because I have hit rock bottom, physically, financially & emotionally & I need help. Asking for help has always been difficult for me & if not for my kitties, I likely wouldn’t even be doing so now. I can, however, no longer deny that I am in dire need of financial assistance & am bordering on truly hopeless, not a feeling I usually entertain. Some back story about me & how I got here: I have always been positive, happy & overly friendly, since I was a little girl. Even when odds have been stacked against me, I’ve tried to spread love & light. I love people, babies, kids & animals. I love music, art, nature & LIFE. I’ve rescued multiple animals personally from the streets over the years who somehow find me, knowing I’ll help them & two of them are now my permanent companions. I’ve spent years pretending things were better than they were, physically, pain wise, emotionally & financially. 10 years ago, in my early twenties, I was hit by 4 different cars, four separate accidents, in the span of a year & eight months, the last of which, i was a passenger in a car on the freeway that was hit by another car going 70mph when traffic stopped & we stopped, but they didn’t, pushing us into the car in front of us & the concrete center divider. We were hit so hard that my shoe flew up on the dashboard upon impact & I was told by the EMTs that I was lucky to survive, as people who lose shoes don’t usually live to tell about it. Due to a combination of all of the accidents, I suffered permanent physical damage to my neck & lower back, constant excruciating & worsening nerve damage, as well as ptsd & other emotional issues stemming from my constant varying pain, lack of sleep, lack of mobility, inability to do the things I had once loved to do, constant financial stress & worry & my overall quality of life. My spine will sometimes flare up for weeks at a time & I can’t even sit up straight or walk or lift myself out of bed. But I still tried to remain positive, especially initially, both personally & outwardly on social media, instead of wallowing or bumming people out, that has always been my coping mechanism, to skew positive, to spread love & to try to bring joy to others. After photos from before the accidents even happened & my positive social media presence in general was used against me by the lawyers of the insurance companies (this was of course before there were articles & studies on how people put their best lives or even inaccurate positive representations of them on social media) & i ended up with about $12,000 years ago total from the four accidents, which went directly to bills. I kind of lost faith in the world a bit, slowly at first & then my ever optimistic outlook & bright cheerful personality started to dim. I didn’t fight back, I gave up on further restitution & after depleting my savings on out of pocket medical expenses & things to try to fix & help my spine, I figured out a way to scrape by, renting out my spare room fully furnished & putting my animal whispering skills to use, watching friends’ & acquaintances’ pets while they were away & babysitting human kiddos from time to time too, as I could no longer work freelance in the film & music industries due to my physical limitations & pain level. I was perfectly content, though often stressed, just barely scraping by, but then in January of 2020, my hybrid battery on my 13 year old Prius died. Just as I was trying to figure out how to possibly afford to fix it & a way to find more animals to watch more consistently, COVID-19 hit. I have been roommateless, jobless & unable to get pandemic assistance for the entirety of the Covid-19 crisis & honestly, severely depressed & unable to even attempt to figure out what to do & I now currently (updated total as of June 2021) owe $34,896.55 in back rent for my home of the last 15 years & in one month the california eviction moratorium will expire & I will be served eviction orders & my cats & I will effectively be homeless. I am desperate to find a new less expensive, SAFE place for my kitties & I & over the last few weeks I have been going through my belongings, donating bags to goodwill, women’s shelters & even straight to homeless encampments near me, I have attempted selling larger or more expensive items on offerup & nextdoor & clothing at resale shops to try to raise money to fix my car or pay some of my rent, or find somewhere for my cats & I. However, given the pandemic & financial stress of so many, people aren’t buying things like they used to. The fact that so many people are in similarly overwhelming situations is yet another reason I hesitated & have waited til the absolute desperate last minute to ask for help. This year has devastated so many lives, financially & emotionally, it has been heartbreaking to watch the news all by myself & the collective sadness of the last year or so has all but broken me. It has taken me getting to my own personal absolute rock bottom & having a full on anxiety attack that landed me in the ER to reach out for help from friends, acquaintances & hopefully also some kind strangers in a position to help. I see no other way out of this overwhelmingly hopeless situation I have gotten myself stuck in, but I want to get out of it, I want to fix my car, and find a less expensive place for my kitties & i to live. Then I want to fix my spine, start getting some long overdue physical & emotional therapy & get my life back, I want to feel like myself again, I want to be happy & positive & help brighten up the world again, my light has all but faded & I hate feeling like this. So I am asking for help. Thank you so much for reading & if you are in a position to donate & can, if not & you could please just share this, I would be so beyond grateful. Please take care, stay safe & be well.