In December 2013, I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. Unlike most cases, I was comletely asymptomatic - there was nothing to warn me of what was to come.

My cancer was discovered almost by accident. I found myself in the emergency room two days before Thanksgiving with what would turn out to be a kidney stone. What would really flip my life upside down was the reason for the kidney stone. The cancer had already spread to my bone, and the stone was a result of the cancer leaching calcium into my blood stream. I also learned that I had an extremely aggressive cancer; by the time it was discovered, it had spread to my lymph system, bones, and liver. At the age of 40, as a single mom with my youngest son still in preschool, I was told that I would likely not see the age of 50.

From the beginning, I was told that treatment would be for management only with no expectation of remission. "Palliative care" became a term I would hear often. Treatment began with chemotherapy. Four months into chemo,  my oncologist determined that my body had reached its limit, and began the first cycle of management care.  

My treatment appointments have continued every three weeks for 2 1/2 years now. While the current management cycle appears to still be working, the costs of treatment, and the reality of the eventual outcome continue to impact daily life. 

The most recent decision, and by far the most impactful one, has been the decision to allow my youngest son to move in with his father in California. The importance of allowing him to be settled and established in the location that would inevitably become his home when I'm gone was paramount. After struggling with the decision for over a year, I finally decided it was time to allow that transition to start, while he is in early elementary school, as opposed to him having to make that transition at a time when I'm too ill to care for him or travel to see him any longer. My hope is that he will be able to settle into life with his father and extended family in California so he will already have an established support system to help him through my passing.  My greatest concern being the impact it would have on him having to cope with the loss of me, and the transition of moving away from all he's ever known at the same time. I just cannot justify putting him through that all at one time.  This is definitely the part of having terminal cancer with an unknown time frame that sucks the most. I can handle the knowledge that this is going to kill me; I can't hardly even begin to think about what it's  going to do to my kids. 

As mentioned previously, I'm now 2 1/2 years into an average 5 year life span and, while there is no reason to believe I can't be an exception and live far longer than that, I also cannot make decisions blindly believing that will be the case either. I'm far to pragmatic to base decisions solely on hope alone. 

With this change in living arrangements comes a financial impact as well. Support being received for my youngest son will stop effective July 1. 

My family has been overwhelmingly supportive, assisting with housing, medical, and other unexpected costs throughout this journey, but their ability to continue assisting is strained. Medical costs continue to run approximately $8,000.00 annually, relatively little thanks to private insurance.  However, I've recently learned that those costs will increase now that I am experiencing the first side effect from my treatment. 

I learned last month that I have developed biphospenate-related osteonecrosis of the jaw. In lay terms, my jaw bone is deteriorating, resulting in exposed bone inside my mouth. The occurrence of this particular side effect is still new enough within the medical and dental fields that treatment options are somewhat limited. So, once again, I hear the term "palliative care", meaning, they'll keep me as comfortable as possible for as long as possible. And, being that this is happening in my mouth, the insurance company is considering it to be a dental issue, and therefore not covered. All costs associated with this will be out of pocket since I don't have dental coverage, including the upcoming CT scan that my oral surgeon has requested.

Which brings us here. My oldest son is set to graduate next year. So, while I feel it's best for my youngest to establish himself with his dad in California, I equally believe it's best for my oldest to stay local, having already formed those friendships that have helped support him in the past few years. 

Ultimately, I am in need of financial assistance for a few primary reasons - assistance to offset some of the medical and dental costs, assistance to offset housing costs with the changes to household income, and assistance to allow for travel to and from California periodically during the coming year in order to stay as active and involved in my youngest son's life for as long as I am able. 

Truth be told, I have no way to know how long I will continue with maintenance treatment as it is presently, though I do know that there is a 5 year maximum for at least one of the drugs currently helping control my cancer. The likely reality is that I will cycle back to some type of chemotherapy in the next two years, then back to maintenance of some sort, and back and forth again for as long as my body can handle it. 

I'm truly grateful to have the time, even if the eventuality of my condition haunts me some days. I'm grateful for every day that I have with my family and friends. I appreciate the sunrise a little more now, and worry far less. I've been overwhelmed with the kindness of strangers, which allowed for the some of the most amazing memories I could possibly have with my best friend. And I'm blessed that I've had the opportunity to focus on making memories for my children that they will carry after I'm gone. And while I tend to focus only on the foreseeable future, I do still hope to be able to continue doing so for the years to come. 

Thank you for listening to my story, and thank you in advance for anything you are able to do to assist. Your support and prayers have been, and continue to be truly appreciated.