Ellie’s Transition and Rent Fund

As much as it pains me to do this, very deep down I know that asking for help and being vulnerable can and has saved my life in the past. I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has ever let me crash on their couch, sent me money for food, or simply let me know they were thinking of me last year as I was dealing with homelessness/displacement. There has been a lot of talk about what this pandemic has done for trans people in 2020. We no longer feel like we have to be something we aren't to fit in at work, school, daily life etc. For me, it’s definitely been easier being alone at home and realizing that without societal pressure from family, coworkers, and others, I can breathe easier. I can see a future where I’m happy, self fulfilled, and free within my own body. I’m a trans woman. It’s terrifying to type that, to say it out loud, to admit it because of the immediate danger it puts me in. This is something that I’ve denied for very long for fear of being ostracized, being kicked out by family, and being physically harmed, all of which has happened anyway. Regardless of what’s happened I lead and live my life with love, light, and kindness first. I’m soft, sensitive, and strong willed. I’ve fought to be here and have accomplished a lot and this won’t stop, but many days are hard and I sometimes question whether it is worth it. I had just finished Cosmetology school and started my apprenticeship at the beginning of this year at a high end salon doing one of the many things I love, hair. Making people feel beautiful and confident is important to me. Unfortunately because of COVID-19, the salon I worked at closed for a while and I wasn’t able to get my job back. I’ve been looking for work but like many others it's been hard. Unemployment is not nearly enough for me to pay for rent. I am behind 7 months and am worried about being kicked out again once I have to sign another lease in January(whether it be this apt or a new one). This fund would be for rent(most important), my HRT expenses(not covered well with insurance), therapy(not covered at all), food, school loans, and life affirming surgeries. Truthfully, I am terrified of being homeless again and at large risk of being in that place as my lease is about to be up and my roommates are looking for other options to move to in January. I love my roommates and feel safe around them, something that unjustly feels like a privilege as a trans woman. I would hate to lose that safety only a year after acquiring it. I would need around $3000 to move. I would not ask if it weren’t urgent and probably waited longer than I should have. I’m so early on in my transition, however I’m sure I want these life affirming surgeries. I always have. I want to see what others see in me, what I feel inside, and most importantly, I want to be happy. I want to have a family, I want to be successful, I want to love my friends and be happier around them. I don’t want to feel alone and scared in this anymore. Trans women desire what everyone else does, and we deserve that. I’m trying to believe I deserve the grace and love I extend to others so easily. This is the beginning of my new and improved life and I cannot wait to smile more on this journey. If you read all of this, share it, or donate I appreciate it from the bottom of my teeny tiny heart. You might know someone who can change my life. Even if you keep me in your thoughts and prayers, thank you. Urgent amount needed for safety: $3000 other preferred ways to donate since gofundme takes a large portion: venmo: ellieflores94 cashapp: $elliepeony Love always, Ellie Peony Flores