"Sometimes we need to let thoses who love us hold us up until we can hold ourselves up"

Roger Mathey has done this for me. He has been there on both the eves of the scariest days of my life. A calming presence not only for me but for my husband.

When Roger told me yesterday that he found out that he had kidney cancer, I did not pretend to have the right words, only to want to help and be informed. The following is what I learned:

"On Sunday, I went into the ER feeling chest pains. Thought I was having an incredible case of heartburn but wanted to see if it was more serious since it had made me dizzy and was really hurting. They brought me into the ER and started running tests and found my blood pressure was through the roof. But everything seemed ok with my heart in general. Nothing that would explain the pain. They tested my lungs as well. Nothing. They thought maybe it was something from my stomach since I had the ulcer surgery. They ran an MRI. In doing so, they accidentally saw a mass on one of my kidneys. They admitted me to run tests.
They discovered nothing wrong with my heart or lungs but the mass freaked them out and they believed it was cancerous. It was a mass that was almost as large as the kidney itself. They didn't want to take a biopsy for fear if it was cancerous, that would make it spread faster. More tests were run. They determined it was cancerous and should be removed.
I met with a urologist the next day after being discharged from the hospital. He said they wanted to handle this ASAP but wanted to make sure heart was ok. Surgery is scheduled June 16. He wanted to do it on May 30 but they want to make sure chest pains do not return. There were two options: remove entire kidney or remover just tumor. Because of my age, they suggest just removing the tumor as opposed to removing the entire kidney since that could mean I would need dialysis within a five to ten year period. If I keep part of the kidney, that would be less likely. Removing partial kidney is slightly riskier than removing whole kidney but better in the long run. It is a longer and more detailed procedure to do the partial. They showed me the pictures of the tumor and it's pretty big. Doctor was very good and informative and would be the one operating on me. Would be out for 3-4 weeks to recover... That's the update. I dedicated to go with just removing the tumor because, hey, that's what the doc suggested. Getting an MRI this afternoon because Doctor also noticed something on my spleen they want to get a better look at."

This was from a private page he shared only with a few.

I chatted with him privately about everything and offered to set this page up for him after learning of the out of pocket expenses he has already paid, including a $755 MRI, many in office co-pays, a $6400 copay prior to surgery. He has accumulated about 10 days total of vacation/medical leave combined. His surgery will keep him out of work for a month. Roger lives in San Fransisco, one of the most expensive places in the nation.

I have known this man for over 30 years. Anyone that knows him can attest to this: He is a fabulous soul. A hard worker, full of love and caring. Let's help hold him up so he can get well and not have to worry about anything while he KICKS CANCER'S ASS!!!!!!