Donation protected
Starting Over at 57 and Maintaining Stability
Hi all, it's Brad Engstrand. I am asking for support and help from the folks and families I worked with and supported for 17 years. If you have it in you and can help, my gratitude will be immeasurable. If you can't, wish us well and please understand that asking for help in this manner has been the toughest thing I have ever had to do.
In 2011, shortly after my heart attack, diagnosis of CAD, and subsequent surgery, I met my Beth. Neither of us was looking for what happened, and to say what happened was, and is, complicated would be a massive understatement. We realized we were meant, and needed, to be together. At a point in time when I believed my life to be literally winding down, it ramped up instead, even as I sank deeper into a depression I did not understand or recognize until just recently. I did not understand that my state of mind was an adjunct to what was happening in my body. I knew I was lost and that I could find myself in being with Beth. At the same time, Beth was reeling from her own life changes including the sudden and tragic death of her mother which occurred shortly after I moved to Sebastopol. As a direct result of her death, I very quickly began to fulfill a role I was not expecting to fill quite so soon; as a primary caregiver, providing the substantial invisible labor such roles often entail.
At the time I decided to take a chance, to live with Beth and join her family of 3 boys, ages 9 - 18, we believed there would be a slow integration of family, with room for me to re-enter the workforce in some fashion while following a path that would help us both heal. We based our financial plans around that pace and around what I saw as a reasonable ability to find meaningful, sustainable work. We have been caught off guard on all counts.
The boys began to live with us VERY quickly and I have discovered that I am, apparently, un-employable.
Within my profession, my self-taught status has proven to be a very large albatross. I managed Branson’s growing tech program from exceedingly basic to fairly sophisticated on my own, learning it as I went. Branson was amazing at letting me do that, and worked with me in a way that benefited us both. In today’s market, however, not having a degree after my name has proven a BIG deal. To date, commensurate experience is not enough to get an interview, let alone serious consideration. I'm not giving up, but so far, nothing.
Additionally, and ironically, spending 17 years at my professional level has also resulted in being considered over-qualified for most basic, "not tech", jobs. I’ve applied, and continue to apply, to everywhere from the post office to the grocery store to internet service providers to the Apple Store. Repeatedly. Zero response back. From anyone. Calling or going in person always ends in “submit online” as opposed to an actual discussion. Submitting online results in unforgiving filtering based on recognized markers without a lot of human consideration. My health precludes looking for very physical work. I thought I was still useful to the world at large. I was wrong and it is very sobering.
What this means for me is that I have to double down on those who DO need me. My family. I have to retrench, develop new skill sets to generate passive income. Beth’s practice is booming, she cannot possibly work with everyone who wants to work with her, but that doesn't automatically parley into more money, given that she is only one person. At the start of next school year she’ll be expanding her practice even more, as local schools are planning for her to consult with them on their growing populations of struggling kids. I am an active consultant in her practice, aiding in the identification and application of adaptive technology for her students. We have also begun development of an app to support her executive function and emotional regulation work, having found a fairly critical gap in resources for the teen to adult populations struggling with those issues. There are a lot of people to reach. Ultimately, we see it turning into a service that will help reach even more students. There is much to be done and we are doing it; we have the ability. What we lack right now is enough resources to live within the amount of time it will require to get it done. Any and all funds we receive through this campaign will go directly towards maintaining a stable environment for the boys as we move forward. Moving forward means building Beth's and my practice into a platform that can help as many people as possible.
Branson was my home, my profession, my family, and, in many ways, my hiding place for 17 years. I was passionate about the kids, the adults, and the goals. I supported a lot of folks over the years and I like to think I did it well. That was that life. I have been unprepared for the developments of my life today. I wasn't quick enough to realize how much the working world outside the Branson Bubble had changed and how that would impact my ability to find sustainable income in a traditional job situation. As a result, we have reached the point where my lack of income has become an absolutely desperate situation. Anyone who knows me realizes how desperate it must be for me to take this chance at alienating a community I hold most dear by asking an uncomfortable favor.
My confidence in the future is high. We have exciting opportunities beginning to present to us, and we have the ability to manifest them. I can feel the unexpectedly paralyzing depression losing its hold. I have the love and support of an incredible woman and I have a family. At 57 I am truly starting over, essentially from scratch, to support them. I will succeed, if I can buy a bit more time, both to maintain a stable environment for Beth’s younger boys while they finish middle and high school and to pursue the paths that will allow us to truly move forward.. I am certain we can recover our footing through the creative solutions that are currently in progress.
Hi all, it's Brad Engstrand. I am asking for support and help from the folks and families I worked with and supported for 17 years. If you have it in you and can help, my gratitude will be immeasurable. If you can't, wish us well and please understand that asking for help in this manner has been the toughest thing I have ever had to do.
In 2011, shortly after my heart attack, diagnosis of CAD, and subsequent surgery, I met my Beth. Neither of us was looking for what happened, and to say what happened was, and is, complicated would be a massive understatement. We realized we were meant, and needed, to be together. At a point in time when I believed my life to be literally winding down, it ramped up instead, even as I sank deeper into a depression I did not understand or recognize until just recently. I did not understand that my state of mind was an adjunct to what was happening in my body. I knew I was lost and that I could find myself in being with Beth. At the same time, Beth was reeling from her own life changes including the sudden and tragic death of her mother which occurred shortly after I moved to Sebastopol. As a direct result of her death, I very quickly began to fulfill a role I was not expecting to fill quite so soon; as a primary caregiver, providing the substantial invisible labor such roles often entail.
At the time I decided to take a chance, to live with Beth and join her family of 3 boys, ages 9 - 18, we believed there would be a slow integration of family, with room for me to re-enter the workforce in some fashion while following a path that would help us both heal. We based our financial plans around that pace and around what I saw as a reasonable ability to find meaningful, sustainable work. We have been caught off guard on all counts.
The boys began to live with us VERY quickly and I have discovered that I am, apparently, un-employable.
Within my profession, my self-taught status has proven to be a very large albatross. I managed Branson’s growing tech program from exceedingly basic to fairly sophisticated on my own, learning it as I went. Branson was amazing at letting me do that, and worked with me in a way that benefited us both. In today’s market, however, not having a degree after my name has proven a BIG deal. To date, commensurate experience is not enough to get an interview, let alone serious consideration. I'm not giving up, but so far, nothing.
Additionally, and ironically, spending 17 years at my professional level has also resulted in being considered over-qualified for most basic, "not tech", jobs. I’ve applied, and continue to apply, to everywhere from the post office to the grocery store to internet service providers to the Apple Store. Repeatedly. Zero response back. From anyone. Calling or going in person always ends in “submit online” as opposed to an actual discussion. Submitting online results in unforgiving filtering based on recognized markers without a lot of human consideration. My health precludes looking for very physical work. I thought I was still useful to the world at large. I was wrong and it is very sobering.
What this means for me is that I have to double down on those who DO need me. My family. I have to retrench, develop new skill sets to generate passive income. Beth’s practice is booming, she cannot possibly work with everyone who wants to work with her, but that doesn't automatically parley into more money, given that she is only one person. At the start of next school year she’ll be expanding her practice even more, as local schools are planning for her to consult with them on their growing populations of struggling kids. I am an active consultant in her practice, aiding in the identification and application of adaptive technology for her students. We have also begun development of an app to support her executive function and emotional regulation work, having found a fairly critical gap in resources for the teen to adult populations struggling with those issues. There are a lot of people to reach. Ultimately, we see it turning into a service that will help reach even more students. There is much to be done and we are doing it; we have the ability. What we lack right now is enough resources to live within the amount of time it will require to get it done. Any and all funds we receive through this campaign will go directly towards maintaining a stable environment for the boys as we move forward. Moving forward means building Beth's and my practice into a platform that can help as many people as possible.
Branson was my home, my profession, my family, and, in many ways, my hiding place for 17 years. I was passionate about the kids, the adults, and the goals. I supported a lot of folks over the years and I like to think I did it well. That was that life. I have been unprepared for the developments of my life today. I wasn't quick enough to realize how much the working world outside the Branson Bubble had changed and how that would impact my ability to find sustainable income in a traditional job situation. As a result, we have reached the point where my lack of income has become an absolutely desperate situation. Anyone who knows me realizes how desperate it must be for me to take this chance at alienating a community I hold most dear by asking an uncomfortable favor.
My confidence in the future is high. We have exciting opportunities beginning to present to us, and we have the ability to manifest them. I can feel the unexpectedly paralyzing depression losing its hold. I have the love and support of an incredible woman and I have a family. At 57 I am truly starting over, essentially from scratch, to support them. I will succeed, if I can buy a bit more time, both to maintain a stable environment for Beth’s younger boys while they finish middle and high school and to pursue the paths that will allow us to truly move forward.. I am certain we can recover our footing through the creative solutions that are currently in progress.
Organizer
Beth Gallock
Organizer
Sebastopol, CA