- D
- C
- J
Hi,
My name is Nadine, I'm 31 years old and I suffer from endometriosis. Now, believe me when I tell you, creating this gofundme page takes everything out of me. My pride doesn't want me to continue, my most personal experiences will be known publicly to any and everyone who is willing to listen .
Would you tell the world what's happening behind closed doors?
I wouldn't, but I have no choice!!!
I'm doing this, because I need surgery! And I need it ASAP. And I need it with the best surgeon out there, to repair what butchers have done to me in the past 3 surgeries ! Someone who knows what he's doing and is an expert in this field . Dr Tamer Seckin is the man who can give me my life back and that is the only reason I'm trying to raise this money. It's for the first consultation which is $675 and the surgery which is roughly $5300, depending on what he finds once he opens me up.
Thats the scary part with Endometriosis, you never know what exactly you will find until you open the woman up. The pictures you see are my story! Or better yet, were my story and some of it, is simply wishful thinking!
The man you see with me, was the love of my life, but we're no longer together. I'm mostly in bed these days because I can barely move without assistance, the baby is something I want more than anything: to be a mom one day, but my Fallopian tubes are so clogged, that flushing them won't help anymore. Believe me I've tried. Three surgeries later and I'm worse off than I was when this whole journey started. I lost the love of my life, I lost my career and several other jobs after that, because who wants an employee who breaks down in the middle of the restaurant or can't come out of the bathroom for almost an hour because the nausea wave hit her so hard, she's shaking and puking her guts out ? The picture of me smiling is when I was babysitting last year. I figured, it can't be hard to keep that job, right? But when you have to call in sick every other week, because another cyst popped , like it does almost every two weeks like clockwork and you're in bed with 105° fever for the next 3 days and pain out of this world, well, it doesn't scream reliable, does it?
After 4 years of being in a relationship with someone who is chronically ill and depressed ,because of the 24/7 pain she is in and the life she is losing , even the best men break at some point. I have been suicidal over the past 4 years more times than I can count, simply because I couldn't take the pain anymore and the bad places it drags my mind to. Will this be forever? Will I never be painfree again? Will I ever be able to have sex again? Will I ever be able to have my own child?
Will I ever be able to work again, be a reliable employee and put my education to good use or follow my dream of flipping houses for a living?
And again, will this pain ever subside or get to a manageable level? I don't know !!!
This disease is invisible and makes you wish you were dead sometimes ,because doctor after doctor tells you it's probably IBS or chronic UTI or gastritis or or or.....
But No, it's none of that. It's Endometriosis attacking you from the inside out, attaching itself to organs wherever it can, so a simple bathroom visit turns into a crying session, because you feel like you're getting stabbed!
When you have to cancel almost every invitation of a get together ,the invitations will eventually stop coming. When you have to cancel last minute because you're getting another pain attack, friends don't want to make plans with you anymore. When you can't be intimate with your boyfriend, because it would rip your insides apart, well....at some point this man is thinking about his own future as well, right? And he should. If someone told you, they can count on 2 sets of hands how many times they've been intimate with the man they love and been with for over 3.5 years, you wouldn't believe it, would you?!
It is the truth. I wish I didn't have to speak about my most private experiences and I'm sure he will hate this even more once he hears about it, but I have no other choice. I've tried to raise money with friends and family, but the ones who want to help don't have it and the ones who do, either don't want to "invest" that money out of fear I will never be able to pay them back or they have it invested in something and can't get their hands on it.
I would love to tell you, that love conquers all and if you love someone hard enough, you will get through this together, but we couldn't.
It does not only affect your body. It affects your mind and soul. It drags you into a very very dark place, which you don't know you'll ever get out of! It's called depression.
And that's something I don't wish on my worst enemy!
Endometriosis doesn't only affect your body, where it destroys everything that's in it's way, but it slowly but surely overrides your positive thoughts. You can't think positive anymore, when even doctors tell you, it's all in your head or you're just depressed or you're an addict or you're a hypochondriac or "it can't be that bad, because I know people with endometriosis and they go to work just fine ".
Well, good for them. I hope they cherish every second they have without pain!!! Because I was like them once. The only problem I had was during my monthly period starting at 14 , when I would pass out the first and second day of my monthly visitor. I used to hear "I just can't take pain like other people can....I'm weak..... I'm a p***y!"
No I'm not. I know that now. If you've ever passed out or threw up because you were in such crippling pain, you know what I'm talking about, but I was told it was normal. My mom was like that and so was my grandma, so why question them?
Pop painkillers and get on with it. And that's what I did, all the way up until I was diagnosed in January 2013. But as I said before, the pain never left me again.
Can you imagine what it's like to be in pain 24/7???
You get narcotics prescribed and they help for a while or not, but they poison your body from the inside out. And then after a while they don't work anymore, because your body gets used to them and that's when the calling out from work starts again and the curling up on the floor because the pain shoots through you so intensely, you have no idea where to turn. How many times, the love of my life had to bring me to the ER after work, I can't count. How many times, he sat there, helpless and hopeless ,not knowing if I will ever get better, I don't even remember. Too many times, that is for sure.
We prayed, day and night, but nothing has changed so far. I will continue praying for all the endo sisters out there, because there is hope and that is Dr Tamer Seckin and other specialists like him. Unfortunately there are only 100 surgeons worldwide , who know how to perform this surgery without doing more damage than good.
I came to this country to be a restaurant manager in Manhattan and climb the career latter, leaving my family in Germany behind, but endometriosis took that away from me and soooo so much more, more than you will ever be able to imagine. And once the financial burdens become too much to bear, because all of a sudden there is only one income (again) and the medical bills just keep piling up, you simply feel helpless and quite frankly, HOPELESS.
I've sold every piece of jewelry that was worth something, but what I received for it was a joke . What it was actually worth, not only financially but emotionally, I will never get back.
It was a gift from my man (ex) for my 29th birthday.
I'm writing all this in hopes, that people will sponsor my surgery and give me my life back!!!!....
I've done everything I was supposed to do, I cut out gluten, dairy, sugar, soy etc . I became a vegetarian because the hormones in meat affect endometriosis, so no more meat for me. I work out when I can, but that usually consists of light yoga.
Anything else is pure torture. I still try to keep my sense of humor and although I simply want to go to sleep alot of times and not wake up the next day, because I can't do this anymore, I continue to be a good friend, a great aunt, a great sister, a good daughter, a godmother... just never a mother and maybe never a wife, because honestly, who wants to be with someone they can't be intimate with?!
I want to work again, I want to have a chance to be a mom one day more than anything , I want to be able to be intimate with someone without crying tears of agony , I want to laugh without cringing because my cyst just popped, I want to simply live a normal life!!!
PLEASE help me do that! I don't know how gofundme works exactly ,but if i'll be able to have this surgery, because enough money was raised, I would pay back every penny !!!! I swear it.
Please donate $5, $10 $20... whatever you can spare and help me finance this surgery!!!!!
It will give me my life back and that's all I want, to live pain free again or at least with pain that's manageable and allows me to work again and do normal things ( like riding a bike for example )just like a healthy person could!!!!
If you can't spare the money, please please share this anywhere where people will read it! I'd be more than grateful!!!!
Thanks to everyone who read it until the end. I appreciate it very much.
Please donate or share or both !!!
Much love and God bless,
Nadine
My name is Nadine, I'm 31 years old and I suffer from endometriosis. Now, believe me when I tell you, creating this gofundme page takes everything out of me. My pride doesn't want me to continue, my most personal experiences will be known publicly to any and everyone who is willing to listen .
Would you tell the world what's happening behind closed doors?
I wouldn't, but I have no choice!!!
I'm doing this, because I need surgery! And I need it ASAP. And I need it with the best surgeon out there, to repair what butchers have done to me in the past 3 surgeries ! Someone who knows what he's doing and is an expert in this field . Dr Tamer Seckin is the man who can give me my life back and that is the only reason I'm trying to raise this money. It's for the first consultation which is $675 and the surgery which is roughly $5300, depending on what he finds once he opens me up.
Thats the scary part with Endometriosis, you never know what exactly you will find until you open the woman up. The pictures you see are my story! Or better yet, were my story and some of it, is simply wishful thinking!
The man you see with me, was the love of my life, but we're no longer together. I'm mostly in bed these days because I can barely move without assistance, the baby is something I want more than anything: to be a mom one day, but my Fallopian tubes are so clogged, that flushing them won't help anymore. Believe me I've tried. Three surgeries later and I'm worse off than I was when this whole journey started. I lost the love of my life, I lost my career and several other jobs after that, because who wants an employee who breaks down in the middle of the restaurant or can't come out of the bathroom for almost an hour because the nausea wave hit her so hard, she's shaking and puking her guts out ? The picture of me smiling is when I was babysitting last year. I figured, it can't be hard to keep that job, right? But when you have to call in sick every other week, because another cyst popped , like it does almost every two weeks like clockwork and you're in bed with 105° fever for the next 3 days and pain out of this world, well, it doesn't scream reliable, does it?
After 4 years of being in a relationship with someone who is chronically ill and depressed ,because of the 24/7 pain she is in and the life she is losing , even the best men break at some point. I have been suicidal over the past 4 years more times than I can count, simply because I couldn't take the pain anymore and the bad places it drags my mind to. Will this be forever? Will I never be painfree again? Will I ever be able to have sex again? Will I ever be able to have my own child?
Will I ever be able to work again, be a reliable employee and put my education to good use or follow my dream of flipping houses for a living?
And again, will this pain ever subside or get to a manageable level? I don't know !!!
This disease is invisible and makes you wish you were dead sometimes ,because doctor after doctor tells you it's probably IBS or chronic UTI or gastritis or or or.....
But No, it's none of that. It's Endometriosis attacking you from the inside out, attaching itself to organs wherever it can, so a simple bathroom visit turns into a crying session, because you feel like you're getting stabbed!
When you have to cancel almost every invitation of a get together ,the invitations will eventually stop coming. When you have to cancel last minute because you're getting another pain attack, friends don't want to make plans with you anymore. When you can't be intimate with your boyfriend, because it would rip your insides apart, well....at some point this man is thinking about his own future as well, right? And he should. If someone told you, they can count on 2 sets of hands how many times they've been intimate with the man they love and been with for over 3.5 years, you wouldn't believe it, would you?!
It is the truth. I wish I didn't have to speak about my most private experiences and I'm sure he will hate this even more once he hears about it, but I have no other choice. I've tried to raise money with friends and family, but the ones who want to help don't have it and the ones who do, either don't want to "invest" that money out of fear I will never be able to pay them back or they have it invested in something and can't get their hands on it.
I would love to tell you, that love conquers all and if you love someone hard enough, you will get through this together, but we couldn't.
It does not only affect your body. It affects your mind and soul. It drags you into a very very dark place, which you don't know you'll ever get out of! It's called depression.
And that's something I don't wish on my worst enemy!
Endometriosis doesn't only affect your body, where it destroys everything that's in it's way, but it slowly but surely overrides your positive thoughts. You can't think positive anymore, when even doctors tell you, it's all in your head or you're just depressed or you're an addict or you're a hypochondriac or "it can't be that bad, because I know people with endometriosis and they go to work just fine ".
Well, good for them. I hope they cherish every second they have without pain!!! Because I was like them once. The only problem I had was during my monthly period starting at 14 , when I would pass out the first and second day of my monthly visitor. I used to hear "I just can't take pain like other people can....I'm weak..... I'm a p***y!"
No I'm not. I know that now. If you've ever passed out or threw up because you were in such crippling pain, you know what I'm talking about, but I was told it was normal. My mom was like that and so was my grandma, so why question them?
Pop painkillers and get on with it. And that's what I did, all the way up until I was diagnosed in January 2013. But as I said before, the pain never left me again.
Can you imagine what it's like to be in pain 24/7???
You get narcotics prescribed and they help for a while or not, but they poison your body from the inside out. And then after a while they don't work anymore, because your body gets used to them and that's when the calling out from work starts again and the curling up on the floor because the pain shoots through you so intensely, you have no idea where to turn. How many times, the love of my life had to bring me to the ER after work, I can't count. How many times, he sat there, helpless and hopeless ,not knowing if I will ever get better, I don't even remember. Too many times, that is for sure.
We prayed, day and night, but nothing has changed so far. I will continue praying for all the endo sisters out there, because there is hope and that is Dr Tamer Seckin and other specialists like him. Unfortunately there are only 100 surgeons worldwide , who know how to perform this surgery without doing more damage than good.
I came to this country to be a restaurant manager in Manhattan and climb the career latter, leaving my family in Germany behind, but endometriosis took that away from me and soooo so much more, more than you will ever be able to imagine. And once the financial burdens become too much to bear, because all of a sudden there is only one income (again) and the medical bills just keep piling up, you simply feel helpless and quite frankly, HOPELESS.
I've sold every piece of jewelry that was worth something, but what I received for it was a joke . What it was actually worth, not only financially but emotionally, I will never get back.
It was a gift from my man (ex) for my 29th birthday.
I'm writing all this in hopes, that people will sponsor my surgery and give me my life back!!!!....
I've done everything I was supposed to do, I cut out gluten, dairy, sugar, soy etc . I became a vegetarian because the hormones in meat affect endometriosis, so no more meat for me. I work out when I can, but that usually consists of light yoga.
Anything else is pure torture. I still try to keep my sense of humor and although I simply want to go to sleep alot of times and not wake up the next day, because I can't do this anymore, I continue to be a good friend, a great aunt, a great sister, a good daughter, a godmother... just never a mother and maybe never a wife, because honestly, who wants to be with someone they can't be intimate with?!
I want to work again, I want to have a chance to be a mom one day more than anything , I want to be able to be intimate with someone without crying tears of agony , I want to laugh without cringing because my cyst just popped, I want to simply live a normal life!!!
PLEASE help me do that! I don't know how gofundme works exactly ,but if i'll be able to have this surgery, because enough money was raised, I would pay back every penny !!!! I swear it.
Please donate $5, $10 $20... whatever you can spare and help me finance this surgery!!!!!
It will give me my life back and that's all I want, to live pain free again or at least with pain that's manageable and allows me to work again and do normal things ( like riding a bike for example )just like a healthy person could!!!!
If you can't spare the money, please please share this anywhere where people will read it! I'd be more than grateful!!!!
Thanks to everyone who read it until the end. I appreciate it very much.
Please donate or share or both !!!
Much love and God bless,
Nadine