Help Me Purchase Dave Grohl

Hi, I'm Frank Pain. I'd like to buy Dave Grohl. Yes, that dude that's in the Foo Fighters and was in Nirvana.

I'm his biggest fan and figured I can round up enough scratch to purchase him so we can hang out and high five and shit. Heck, I may give him a bro-hug or two as well.

I'm not 100% the amount I'm asking for will buy him. Hell, I'm not even sure if it's legal to purchase another human being without being some central part of a 20/20 tv special. But, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try, right?

Since everyone has their hands out these days, I thought I'd join the party - primarily because I don't have that kind of scratch.

If it is indeed illegal to purchase another human (or if Mr. Grohl isn't a willing purchasee) then I'll spend the money on beer because Dave seems like the kind of person that would want me to drink beer.

If you donate, I'll send you a cool text message that includes some emojis that no one understands.