I Gave Him My All
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The photo is of David Huntley Knight of Plymouth , England . Born June 6, 1947 and died October 22, 2016 . He was a skilled carpenter working on homes , boats and restaurants throughout the SF Bay Area . My name is Linda Laureano . I'm a experienced hospice nurse who grew up in "old" Daly City and went to school at UCSF . Twenty four years ago we met in Fairfax, Cal. at a Buddhist teaching by Venerable Kenchen Kongchog Gyaltshen . We lived together in Sausalito with our two little dogs Lucy and Dawa on my boat the Chinese junk ''Aurelia" . In October 2014 , two days after we returned to our berth from a 10 day haulout and bottom painting he had a stroke .
I quit my part time hospice job after his 2 month hospitalization . The doctor had said he qualified for nursing home care but I said "no I'll take care of him at home " . He was only 67 and could still talk , eat and walk although weakly. His long and short term memory was mostly gone . He still remembered our longtime neighbors and friends . He could sing all the Beatles songs but he forgot he was a carpenter . I decided I could do this after all I was a nurse and he needed me not a stranger . He needed 24 hr. supervision . At first he'd be awake at night for 3-4 hrs. not knowing where he was or who I was . I eventually got his medication regime right and learned to control my exhausted reactions . With my frequent reminders and reassurance on what was important at the moment he was mostly happy and content . For me , non attachment to every day activities was how I learned to cope. I lived with no guarantees .
Since we lived on a boat I couldn't have him deteriorate by being confined in a small space . He still wanted to be a part of life and " be like regular people " . And so with breaks and working around his long naps we went for slow walks, greeted neighbors, stopped for coffee , or went for car rides with visits to longtime friends . He progressed slowIy and everyone remarked he was talk ing and engaging more with others . My days were long and tiring from being watchful but I deepened my understanding of patience and impermanence.
Then in Oct. 2016 he had a sudden second massive stroke that rendered him blind, unable to speak , swallow or stand . He could still purposefully move his right arm . I had him quickly admitted to hospice care and he died peacefully 10 days later with me and our dogs at his bedside after a eighteen hour vigil . For me and our close friends he gave us a great lesson. The one gesture he could still do until a few days before he died was to take and kiss my hand and then touch it to his forehead .
My WISH is that I can get help with my financial distress and restart my life . I'm 70 years old now and barely living on my Social Security. We used up his small inheritance, what was left of my 401k and all of my credit . I sold my car in January to try to
make up for being short on paying rent on my monthly berth .
My HOPE is those of you who have lost a loved one recognize my sorrow and my challenge of being impoverished .
My DREAM is to get the Aurelia repaired . The recent winter storm created areas of wood damage and destroyed plastic/canvas window coverings . David helped me maintain it for years in all seasons and conditions but now I have to depend on the help of others .
I'm grateful you've read my story .
SINCERELY, LINDA LAUREANO
The photo is of David Huntley Knight of Plymouth , England . Born June 6, 1947 and died October 22, 2016 . He was a skilled carpenter working on homes , boats and restaurants throughout the SF Bay Area . My name is Linda Laureano . I'm a experienced hospice nurse who grew up in "old" Daly City and went to school at UCSF . Twenty four years ago we met in Fairfax, Cal. at a Buddhist teaching by Venerable Kenchen Kongchog Gyaltshen . We lived together in Sausalito with our two little dogs Lucy and Dawa on my boat the Chinese junk ''Aurelia" . In October 2014 , two days after we returned to our berth from a 10 day haulout and bottom painting he had a stroke .
I quit my part time hospice job after his 2 month hospitalization . The doctor had said he qualified for nursing home care but I said "no I'll take care of him at home " . He was only 67 and could still talk , eat and walk although weakly. His long and short term memory was mostly gone . He still remembered our longtime neighbors and friends . He could sing all the Beatles songs but he forgot he was a carpenter . I decided I could do this after all I was a nurse and he needed me not a stranger . He needed 24 hr. supervision . At first he'd be awake at night for 3-4 hrs. not knowing where he was or who I was . I eventually got his medication regime right and learned to control my exhausted reactions . With my frequent reminders and reassurance on what was important at the moment he was mostly happy and content . For me , non attachment to every day activities was how I learned to cope. I lived with no guarantees .
Since we lived on a boat I couldn't have him deteriorate by being confined in a small space . He still wanted to be a part of life and " be like regular people " . And so with breaks and working around his long naps we went for slow walks, greeted neighbors, stopped for coffee , or went for car rides with visits to longtime friends . He progressed slowIy and everyone remarked he was talk ing and engaging more with others . My days were long and tiring from being watchful but I deepened my understanding of patience and impermanence.
Then in Oct. 2016 he had a sudden second massive stroke that rendered him blind, unable to speak , swallow or stand . He could still purposefully move his right arm . I had him quickly admitted to hospice care and he died peacefully 10 days later with me and our dogs at his bedside after a eighteen hour vigil . For me and our close friends he gave us a great lesson. The one gesture he could still do until a few days before he died was to take and kiss my hand and then touch it to his forehead .
My WISH is that I can get help with my financial distress and restart my life . I'm 70 years old now and barely living on my Social Security. We used up his small inheritance, what was left of my 401k and all of my credit . I sold my car in January to try to
make up for being short on paying rent on my monthly berth .
My HOPE is those of you who have lost a loved one recognize my sorrow and my challenge of being impoverished .
My DREAM is to get the Aurelia repaired . The recent winter storm created areas of wood damage and destroyed plastic/canvas window coverings . David helped me maintain it for years in all seasons and conditions but now I have to depend on the help of others .
I'm grateful you've read my story .
SINCERELY, LINDA LAUREANO
Organizer
Linda Laureano
Organizer
Sausalito, CA