Sarah’s Fight

This GoFund me was created to ease the financial burden of housing expenses, and legal fees as I fight for my children against the state of Oregon. My story is below. Thank you to all who have walked beside me in my darkest hour. This is a little bit about me, and my life struggles. A small window into my reality. I am not embarrassed of this anymore. They took my children. I know I did everything I thought was right. I pray God continues to lead me. Thank you to all who care. I am a mother of three young children. My children and I fled domestic violence abuse in May of 2015. I had given birth via c section on May 18th. A week later, on May 25th, I was violently assaulted by my husband and suffered multiple pulmonary embolisms (blood clots in both lungs) and was admitted to St. Vincent’s ICU in Portland, OR. I fled to WA and sought a restraining order after I was discharged. I told Oregon authorities that I feared for my life and would be hiding with friends across the river in WA so they knew my children were safe (if my former husband were to call authorities) My husband tried to break into my parent’s home to find me. My brother called 911. My father didn’t press charges for breaking and entering due to not knowing my legal wishes at the time. He now regrets this. My protective order was granted in WA state. It was contested and upheld in 2015. I filed for a legal separation in WA state. At this point I didn’t want a divorce (yes, even after repeated abuse. Stockholm syndrome, trauma bonding, and fear) but I knew I had to keep my children safe. I was willing to endanger myself in that state of mind, but I wasn’t willing to allow my children to be hurt. My separation filing stated that I am protected from my former spouse in that he cannot enter my home when I return to Oregon. He was to be on the lease for financial obligations only in place of child support filings. I didn’t want child support or the state involved with my children at this time. I knew the dangers of that. I immediately sought out a therapist in WA, and told him to contact my former spouse, in a failed attempt to save my family and marriage. I wrote a letter to him. My ex husband declined to counsel. The court offered him supervised visitation. He didn’t show for the first visit. By this time he hadn’t seen me or our children in 3 months. He didn’t know what our newborn daughter looked like. At some point he realized attending the supervised visits would make him look good to the court, so he came bringing candy and toys and played a heartbroken father to the supervisors. This confused my children. But it was better than abuse. I moved back to OR with my legal separation in place. I moved back because I knew no one in WA, and desperately needed emotional support. We lived in happiness and peace for the most part. All things considered. I was still quite ill from my lung damage and on blood thinner pills and injections. I worked and my sister watched my children. I was so tired, physically and mentally, but I had my children. Their father had occasional visits, court ordered. My ex husband forcefully entered my apartment I shared with our children in July of 2016. I never withheld access, even in fear. Police told me doing so could get my rights terminated. He came to my house unannounced and assaulted me. Pushed me outside onto the pavement. I was bleeding. My children screaming. He locked me out of my home. 911 was called. I said my children are in danger and that my ex husband broke in and has locked them inside. Police came and they entered my apartment where my court order was. The order clearly stated he is not to live at my residence due to domestic abuse, but due to him being on the lease for financial purposes they chose not to arrest him. They told me I would need an order of assist to enforce the legal separation orders. New Oregon law. My heart dropped. I had to leave my home I was locked out of, and go to my parent’s home. It was already evening. The courts were closed. The Portland police did nothing. During this time, my ex husband took my children on my parenting time, and hid them from me. I went to the courthouse first thing in the morning. I filed for an order of assist and emergency custody out of fear for their safety. My ex husband was at court at the same time and filing for emergency custody as well. I flagged down a police officer in the courthouse, and alerted him. I had no idea where my children were or who they were left with. The police officer spoke to a judge about having an emergency hearing right there. I was granted both orders, and police instructed my husband to tell me where my children were located. I picked my children up at his sister’s home. She was living with a cocaine addict. Broken windows. My children were all running around in the backyard in diapers. My baby was severely dehydrated, and hadn’t been changed. She drank my entire water bottle when I placed her in my mother’s car. I filed for a second restraining order for Oregon state due to the assault and parental kidnapping. It was granted. Contested and upheld. I filed for divorce after this. I no longer wanted to fix my marriage. My ex husband called DHS child welfare in retaliation and said I was abusing my children. A DHS caseworker came to my home unannounced. My home was searched. My children had to endure naked body scans and questioning. They found no harm and closed the case weeks after. The DHS caseworker wrote a letter to the court stating that she had concerns as to why the call was made by him. I continued to comply with court orders. At my divorce hearing my ex husband quit his job as to not have to pay me child support. I got divorced, but I had no support I now sought. My job couldn’t pay for all of my bills, and their father left me with nothing. I had to move out and into my parent’s home. While my separation was being converted to a divorce, I removed him from the lease so he could not enter my apartment again and harm us, but I was then forced to be left with full financial responsibility of the apartment and all bills and medical bills. It ruined my perfect credit. My ex husband was already living with a woman whom he was cheating on me with during our marriage, and impregnated right before I divorced. At the visits with their dad, my children didn’t do well. Annabelle pulled almost all of her hair out. Noah was potty trained, and he regressed back to diapers. Charlotte had horrific night terrors, which I recorded. She would pee her pants when I had to bring her to a visit with her father. Charlotte told me she was hit, and her baby sister was hit. I took photographs. At my custody hearing I brought this evidence to the Judge. I was awarded sole custody of my children due to his abuse, restraining orders, and clear observation of regression in his care. I have court findings that prove this. He called DHS again. This time a different caseworker. More body scans. More searching. They closed the case. Visits continued with dad. Calls kept being made to DHS against me. Cases kept getting closed because they found nothing. I pleaded with them to see he was retaliating. They told me to address it in court, but all the while my children were forced to be searched. I had no privacy. This is how he continued to hurt us for getting away. At a hearing for a parenting time review, I told the judge of my ex husband’s disruptive and traumatizing ongoing calls to DHS. The judge ordered him to never call again or be held in contempt. He called again. And again. And again. Each time a new caseworker, new searches. I was attending therapy. I was on anti depressant medication at the time to help me cope with the trauma of abuse and the continued harassment and fear. I sought help to be the most healthy and present mother that I could be when I felt like crumbling. This became his new plan. He called the police and said I was suicidal and on mental health medications and that I threatened to kill myself and my children. Never happened. Police came nonetheless. I had no idea when these calls would come. I just lived in constant fear anytime the phone rang or there was a knock on my door. I was told to hold up my hands. I was searched in front of my children like a criminal. The police found nothing. They left. But it broke my heart to see my children so scared. Crying once again by the actions of their father, even after we left. I told the police that the calls were retaliation. They told me to handle domestic issues in court. I had another hearing. The judge put in a second order to stop calling DHS. He didn’t stop. My judge retired. A new one was granted. The calls continued. This time he figured he wasn’t getting anywhere trying to prove that I was abusive, or mentally unstable. He decided to go after my political beliefs. He got onto my FB through a fake account posing to be a friend. He screen capped my right wing and anti abortion activism posts. Some religious posts. He was going to try to make me seem like an unhinged religious nut job. I moved out of my parent’s home and into a small apartment with my children once I had saved enough money working night shifts. It was close to the school I attended as a child. I walked my children there everyday. Things were going better. Charlotte and Noah reported abuse they were suffering at visits to their teachers. The teachers were supportive to us. The teachers reported it to DHS. DHS did nothing. At this point I put in a petition to move after the school year. I wanted to live in a more affordable area because rent in Portland, Oregon for a single mother was nearly impossible to pay for, but due to Oregon law I cannot move too far from their father. I didn’t want to keep moving, but I was struggling financially caring for three children with a not so great job. When their father got notice of my intent to move he tried to assault me in front of my children when picking them up from a visit. I filed my third restraining order. It was granted. Contested and upheld. He called DHS again and made a report that I was abusive when this third restraining order was filed. DHS came to my home. Closed the case. In domestic violence situations, acts of protection (restraining orders) are like waving a red flag in front of a bull. They made him enraged. But if I didn’t file, I’d have less protection for his assaults. Because with an order in place, assault carries a more severe charge. I moved out of Portland, but still close by to a bit more affordable area. He called DHS again and said I was abusing my children and this time he got a very leftist caseworker. He showed her my FB posts, and she took his side. He finally found a worker to manipulate. I was told to take my children to CARES NW, where they would be evaluated for child abuse. This new DHS threatened removal of my children, so I complied. Never had I been treated that way by a caseworker in all of my years dealing with the DHS calls. I was hesitant to take them to the evaluation because my children suffered enough. They had so many searches already. They were begging me to stop it. I was trying. I also was not allowed into the evaluation. My children are very scared without me. I decided to comply out of fear. At the evaluation my children told evaluators that their dad was evil and the devil. Charlotte also told the evaluators that she was choked by her father. CARES NW sent the report into the caseworker assigned to me and my ex husband. She read the report, and due to her bias in favor of my ex husband she made a FOUNDED case of emotional abuse by me. She ruled Charlotte’s admission of abuse by their father as UNFOUNDED due to coaching. The DHS caseworker believed I lied and simply told my children to lie that abuse happened, but that it never did. I told her to simply look at my court history, and the other reports against him from teachers and family. I even have texts from his father saying he needs jail time. This DHS caseworker concealed abuse reports by me, my parents, and my children’s teachers. I’ve spoken to this caseworker maybe twice. The first time she ever talked to me she told me she was taking my children. I was distraught. So I requested a new caseworker and emailed her several times. With hardly any response. This caseworker that believed their dad told the court I was mentally unstable (She has no proof. My therapist even wrote a letter for her and the court. She refuses to look at it) She told the court that I don’t provide basic needs for my children (they are fed and happy with me) she told the court that I failed to cooperate with DHS. I have always cooperated. I have emails to prove my correspondence. The judge was lazy. In the blink of an eye, I went from sole custody to none. My ex husband with an active restraining order, and current abuse of my children now has sole custody of my children since yesterday, September 27th 2019. My children were throwing up and screaming when they found out. I got Noah into counseling. He has a PTSD diagnosis from domestic violence of his father. I attend regular counseling on my own. My children attend church with me every Sunday. We have family movie nights every Friday. We catch bugs. We go on night walks. Now they’re living with him. I tried so hard to protect them. For years and years. I always tried to work with my ex husband until it was clear that I couldn’t. I didn’t initially seek child support or a divorce. I begged to stay out of court. I did what I thought I had to do at the time. I now have one supervised visit a week. One hour. I have no criminal record. I have a made up child abuse finding of emotional abuse from one caseworker. Her reasoning? “No child calls their parent a devil. You must have told them to say that. That is committing mental injury” I explained that they likely heard the term “devil” from Sunday school as we do lessons on angels and demons. I agreed it would be wrong to talk about adult issues, or my own feelings towards their father. But that they came to that conclusion on their own. It didn’t matter. She held onto what she chose to believe about me. I cannot believe this is really happening. I went to therapy with the goal to figure out HOW to properly talk to my children about the ongoing abuse and divorce, because I don’t have all of the answers. I’m trying my best. My therapist has tried to contact DHS several times to confirm that it has been my concern for my children. My therapist cannot get through. The DHS caseworker ignores her as well. Oregon protects child abusers. DHS needs to be abolished. How many other children and families are suffering? I tried to contact the caseworkers that spoke on my behalf in prior years. DHS said they never worked there. I have the emails. One even testified in court. The good ones leave, and then DHS lies that they were never there. Government kidnapping. God help my children.