**update**
I completed the challenge in no small part to the donations and support I received.  I will be eternally grateful.  The total distance covered was 1136 miles over the month of August.

I have added the Eulogy/Service to the bottom of the story.  Thanks again.

Back in April, during the nationwide lock down my Mum passed away.  She had been ill with a form of dementia for close to ten years.  This form of dementia (Frontotemporal) had stripped away my mum's personality bit by bit and skewed her decision making processes.  Over the decade it was a tragedy to see how this illness transformed her outgoing, intelligent, life of the party personality. 

The process of getting my mum diagnosed was a long and arduous one.  We were left disappointed as a family with the process as it took over a couple of years for any diagnosis.  After that we were left with little support.  There was nothing that could be done and no medicine or strategies to slow down the process. 

A couple of organisations and people helped for a while but it always seemed fleeting.  

I had moved home for 6 months to help my dad look after her, 5 years later I was still there.  It was a tough 5 years, it was upsetting and frustrating with the realisation it would never get better.  My mum eventually moved into a home, she spent her final last 3 years there.  I will always feel guilty, which is natural, that i failed her.  That being said I know it was the best place for her by this stage.

Before her illness she had many friends, loved a party, was always on the go.  She would do anything for anyone, never judged anyone and had such an infectious smile.  She loved my friends, never treated them like she was a second mum, more as one of the gang.  She definitely enabled a lot of our antics over the years.  

 Losing her during lockdown made it hard to honour her with a gathering the way she deserved, and during the passing months it has become apparent that this may never be likely now.  This is where i came up with the idea to fundraise in her name.

I am aiming to complete 1000 miles on my bike through the month of August. My progress is being recorded on Strava and I’m currently using every opportunity to get a few miles in. I’ve previously never really cycled before lockdown and have never completed this sort of distance. I will have to average over 32 miles a day to finish the challenge.

About the Charity

The Cambridge Centre for Frontotemporal Dementia and Related Disorders led by Professor James Rowe is based in the Cambridge University Department of Clinical Neuroscience, but includes people and projects across many departments.

The Centre is dedicated to clinical and research excellence, spanning frontotemporal dementia, corticobasal degeneration, and progressive supranuclear palsy. Our goal is simple - to improve diagnosis and treatment, while supporting patients and their families. 

The mission is to provide world class care for patients and families combined with cutting edge research towards better diagnosis and effective treatments.

I am hoping that with any donations that are made this will somehow help people and family's afflicted by this terrible illness.

Thank you for reading.

James



The following Tribute was read by my Dad and I.



Read by David Griffiths

Rhian Frances Griffiths was born on the 22nd August 1948 in Hampstead, London, the youngest of three daughters to Robin and Bee Treffgarne. Sister to Susan (later known as Caroline) and Carew, her first home was in Glapthorne Road, Oundle; her father taught Art at Oundle School. Carew recalls ‘Rhian’s childhood was a happy one. To our Grandpa’s dismay, Daddy had resigned from his job in the Bank to go to the Slade School of Art, and Mummy went to Chelsea Art School, which perhaps influenced Rhian’s choice of career, and her artistic and embroidery skills. She went to lots of children’s parties and fancy dress competitions. We liked dressing up, I remember her as a baby in our doll’s pram with Susan and I as her parents in Victorian dress, and another of her as a fairy. However, we didn’t like parading in front of the judges, so Mummy used to bribe us with toffees to go round one last time! We had a grey poodle which Rhian called ‘Woggy’, because she couldn’t say ‘Doggy’, and so the name stuck.’

 

(Rhian’s love of dogs inspired me to buy her a Labrador puppy for her 40th birthday – Truffles was the first of four labs we had the others being Monty, Bonny and Scooby.)

 

Carew continues ‘Coronation Day in Oundle was more important for us children than the national event in London, with Mummy making the crown for the Coronation Queen and Daddy judging the shop window celebratory displays. It was a source of much family mirth that Rhian didn’t recognise our beloved Nanny, Mrs Taylor, as Britannia in the Coronation Day Procession that went round the town! However, we did watch the Queen being crowned on a neighbour’s little brown TV, specially bought for the occasion!

 

When Rhian was 5, we moved to Harrow when Robin became the Art Master at Harrow School and lived in school accommodation, latterly The Copse. At first we missed the peace and quiet of the Northamptonshire countryside. We spent the Easter and Summer holidays in Cornwall, first of all in Hayle, not far from Godrevy lighthouse, and later at Bosworlas near St Just in Penwith. Daddy had an obsession with getting up at 4am in the morning in order to have breakfast at Stonehenge, which Rhian hated because she was not an early riser! At Bosworlas she loved helping Mrs Pearce collect eggs and feed the calves on the farm, and we used to go on bike rides around the Land’s End area. We had blustery times on the beach, shrimping and collecting sea shells, and we all used to surf when the waves were big enough. Christmas was always at home in Harrow, with Scottish dancing in the school gym (organised by her friend Bridget’s father, Tim Warr), and hockey on the school parade ground on Boxing Day. When it snowed, we used to toboggan in the Park fields and skate on the Park lake at the bottom. Rhian was very popular and used to have a long fringe with her hair tied back in bunches. She had lots of friends of her own age: Bridget, Teresa, Rosie, Gay, Nicola, Shawna, Griselda and Sarah, many of whom have kept in touch over the years.’

 

Lifelong friend Caroline Lumb recalls ‘I met Rhian when we were both 7 years old and went to North London Collegiate.  From then on throughout school we remained firm friends - I spent many a weekend with her at Harrow - what fun times we had - to begin with I spent most of my time there sitting on the rocking horse! Memories of throwing jelly at one another in the dining room which was spotted by the Headmistress, Dame Kitty, who came hot footing it down to the dining room and tore into us, this was one of the terrifying times we had together! Otherwise sitting GCSE's in the main hall with Rhian in front of me (we were always in that order due to our surnames) and knowing that the French exam was just too much for her, when she laid her arms on the desk and head went down to sleep through the rest of the exam.   When the art block was built - we spent hours in there together - happy days and very happy memories.  What a lovely friend she was. Rhian was a huge part of my life and always will be.”

 

Leaving school in 1965 Rhian spent a year at a secretarial college followed by employment with Inland Waterways and an advertising agency. However art was always her first love and she did a year at Harrow School of Art before teacher training at Bretton Hall College of Education, Wakefield – now home to Yorkshire Sculpture Park. Initially she taught in Wakefield, then Redditch before becoming Head of Art at Sir Henry Floyd Grammar School, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire.

 

In the summer of 1975 our paths crossed. We met on a Friday evening at that most romantic of places, Wigan North Western Station. Echoes of Brief Encounter. Brian Wainman, a friend of mine who knew Rhian at College, invited her to a party I was holding the following day to celebrate the end of my year’s secondment at Edge Hill. By chance he suggested I went with him and other friends to meet her. We hit it off immediately at a pub in Appley Bridge, a whirlwind tour of Liverpool followed and we virtually left the party-goers to their own devices treasuring our time together. Having dropped her off to catch her train home to Aylesbury, I couldn’t get her out of my mind and a couple of days later decided I needed to see her again, dreading she would not feel the same. Fortunately she did and for a year we basically spent alternate weekends at each others. School holidays were a bonus especially if half-terms didn’t coincide. I was so grateful that Rhian treated Robbie, my son by a previous marriage, as her own and I know the feelings were mutual. During this time she introduced me to the delights of Cornwall staying at her parent’s cottage Numphra in Lelant near St Ives.

 

We were married on 11th September 1976 at Kensington Register Office. However the day was nearly a disaster. I arrived far too early and went for a walk and nearly got lost, my best man Mick Colley arrived rather the worse for wear after our evening out beforehand. I’m sure he had slept on a park bench as he appeared to be exuding steam and drying out. Friends Brian and Ray who were going to take photos and a video pitched up long after the ceremony. Fortunately there was a local photographer touting for business otherwise we would have had no proper record of the day. The reception was held at her sister Carew’s flat in Holland Park.

 

Rhian, having given up her job, came to live with me in Ormskirk and worked as a supply teacher. Our honeymoon was delayed until October when we spent the half-term touring Ireland. One incident sticks in my mind – we were on a ferry crossing the River Shannon in our hire car. I said to Rhian I was going up to the observation deck and left the keys in the ignition. I didn’t think anyone was going to steal a car sandwiched by two lorries. Rhian decided to follow me, locked my door and then hers with the keys still inside. My visions of plying across the Shannon several times were not helped by the amused expressions of the lorry drivers. Fortunately the car was a Ford and typical of those days the first key tried by one of the drivers opened the door.

 

Back in Ormskirk Rhian soon knew more people than me particularly through her involvement with the National Women’s Register. Prior to the birth of our son James, I was dragged along to classes run by the National Childbirth Trust. On one occasion in Rainford, the men managed to escape to listen to the end of a radio commentary of Liverpool v Arsenal in an FA Cup replay. She loved throwing surprise parties and caught me out on a couple of occasions early on until I wised up.

 

Apart from regular holidays in Cornwall, a highlight of which for her were visiting old friends, we had number of family holidays in France, Greek Islands and on Scottish islands. A particularly memorable foreign holiday was an adventure in Italy in 1979 in a Citroen 2CV, camping for a whole month. Robbie was eight and James took his first steps outside the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Our daughter Rebecca was born nine months later. A skiing holiday in Avoriaz with two other families was another highlight. Our last family holiday was in 2007 when Rebecca’s best friend Karen was married in Castellabate in the Campania region of Italy.

 

After time off as a mother Rhian returned to teaching and eventually secured full time employment at Hillside High School from 1987 to 2000 specialising in Textiles. She spent hours producing the school handbook and was responsible for display work in the school. We have a photo of Ken Dodd standing in the foyer showcasing her work. Additionally she made costumes for pupils taking part in dance events and for the Christmas and Talent Shows.

 

Her interests included anything creative, especially cross-stitch and embroidery work, making clothes, playing the piano and making special cakes.  She was always generous with her time, helping with scout cubs, doing charity work for the Ormskirk Hospital League of Friends and Wrightington Hospital.  She belonged to St Anne’s R.C Embroidery Group and worked on a voluntary basis in the Ormskirk Hospital shop.

 

During retirement Rhian was very active in the U3A. She loved the coffee mornings, the Sunday lunches, going to the theatre and playing table tennis. During the onset of her illness the organisation was very supportive for which we are very grateful.

 

For most of the last decade of her life Rhian suffered from fronto-temporal dementia, At first she was able to operate with a good level of independence but over time the illness took a real hold and she could not be left alone. After a period of respite in Courtfield Lodge which she had enjoyed, we realised the need for full time care was unavoidable. She became resident there in June 2016 and was very settled. We are grateful for the care and kindness she received there,

 

Today we want to reflect on the time before her illness and in a moment I’ll be handing over to James. There is a common theme from the messages we have received from friends including those of our children, James and Rebecca. Rhian was full of fun and energy and would go out of her way to help people. Together with Carew she gave tremendous support to her mother and her elder sister when they were near the end of their lives. She was always visiting people, people who were unwell, people who were alone, she was so caring and thoughtful.

 

During the recent lockdown we were able to say our goodbyes through the window of her ground floor room. She was on end of life medication and sleeping peacefully. We hope that the sound of familiar voices registered sub-consciously.

 

Recently tidying up the kitchen I came across a mug, a souvenir from a Neil Diamond concert. On it were the words ‘Diamond Girl’ – Rhian we all know that you were truly that.

 
Read by James Griffiths

Rebecca and I recall that our mum loved Christmas and birthdays, in fact any celebration.  We have such vivid memories and feelings especially about Christmas time as children.  She would make it so magical for us.  Seeing how much we loved that time gave her far more enjoyment than receiving gifts.  Our parties as children were so much fun, she made all the games and our cakes. Mum loved to help people whenever she could, she would be so thoughtful and surprise people with little gifts that were relevant to them.  She loved to entertain, she loved a party, she loved being around people.  She would always look for the good in people. She would embarrass us with her mum dancing at family and friends house parties on many occasions, dancing away with a massive smile on her face.’

 

Rebecca says ‘Mum was not only my mother she was my best friend. She lived for her family and took me everywhere with her, to craft farms, to London Christmas shopping, watching musicals Starlight Express and Cats. Mum made themed cakes for everyone, she inspired me to be creative and I know she loved that I was creative too. I will carry this on and pass this on to my children and James’ daughter Kate who also is creative. I always felt Mum was proud of James, Robbie and me. She always spoke to people about us with fondness and pride. She adored her grandchildren and loved taking grandson Zach to football matches and practices and to school. Mum loved tapestries and cross stitch and made me clothes as a child, she made fancy dress including Beatrix Potter costumes, strawberry shortcake outfit, for me and a Dalmatian and a Superted costume for James.’

She made cakes for friends and colleagues in which she got everyone to write a comment and she’d put in so much thought adding photos and make little props of what people liked.She made many cakes like a Super Ted cake, James a scruffy school boy cake, she made Robbie a McDonald’s cake, a lasagne cake, she made me bunnies in a bed, a barbie doll cake, I was always watching Mum make cakes and thought I could make the models more realistic. Mum made a 21st cake for my friend and I asked if I could make the cabbages on it and the figure and she was very impressed, that’s how I started off my interest in making cakes.

 

Eldest grandchild Zach ‘I will miss my wonderful grandma so much, my grandma would do anything for me and others, only kind words were ever spoken about her and how caring she was. I will always remember her picking me up from school and taking me to various places that I loved to go. She always helped everyone and I am proud to say I’m her grandson.’

 

Granddaughter Kate ‘Grandma always used to call me Katie. She was always so generous and would buy me gifts with my name on. I remember when she would drive Zach and me in the car she would always listen to Smooth FM and we would always get the giggles when she got road rage. She always encouraged me to do art and would buy me paint sets. I’m really going to miss her.’ Luna now calls Kate, Katie, no one ever told her to.  Every time she does it makes me smile.

 

Rob: ‘As Dad has already said, Rhian was very keen to strike up a strong relationship with me early on, despite I think my initial wariness at having a new additional mother figure around. However once I got over that, and most definitely as the years have gone by, my overriding emotion is gratitude for everything she did for me and how fortunate I was to have her in my life. I always felt loved and included by her, and what I remember most affectionately about her now -whether at family events at home or fondly remembered summer holidays in France and Italy - is her real zest for life, sense of fun and incredible warmth to everyone, especially her family and friends. Rhian had fabulous natural people skills, and was so generous with her time and I think now I learned a lot from her. I was very glad that she was at important events in my life such as my graduation and wedding because I truly thought of her as a parent and loved her very much. I’ve missed her real self and positive influence a lot as her illness progressed and know I will always think of her often.’ 

 

Rebecca ‘Mum was the best and I miss her every day, and I hope I can be as great a mother as she was. I am always sad my younger children Harrison, Noah and Yasmine never knew mum as she really was but I hope I as a mother I will be inspired by her love and kindness. Mum would drop anything for us and give us lifts or collects at any time. So many people loved mum and she loved so many people, she was a beautiful soul with a wonderful smile and there aren’t many people like her! She touched so many people with her kindness.’

 

Going back to Mum’s love of fancy dress, she made so many outfits for people over the years, her creativity knew no bounds.  A list of other outfits she made include Bertie Bassett, Worzel Gummidge for Clint, Superhero capes for all of my friends for John’s 22nd birthday. And even by the time I had gone to university she made full three-piece outfits for a trio of us when we went as Diana Ross and the Supremes.  It was like water off a duck’s back to my mum.  She loved to dress up as well, she wouldn’t however make these costumes instead she would hire them from Aladdin’s Cave.  My mum would like costumes that people would have to guess who was behind the mask, it was all part of the fun to her.  I don’t think many people would have guessed it was her when she was dressed as a chicken, Mr Blobby, a pig or the bad guy from the Scream films, but then again with it being my mum maybe they would.

 

There didn’t seem to be anything that my mum couldn’t make, over the years she made baby quilts, curtains, table cloths, cushions, Christmas stockings and advent calendars for dozens of people.  She was very rarely asked to do them but did them out of the kindness of her own heart.

 

My Mum had a love for driving, she was always driving around, would pick anyone up at anytime and had an amazing sense of direction.  I was the recipient of lifts on many occasions and one of the unwritten conditions was that you had to listen to her music.  My Mum loved music, she had dozens of CDs in her car and was particularly fond of Enya, Elton John, Eva Cassidy, West Life, Boyzone, Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen, Phil Collins, Carly Simon and Chris Rea amongst others.  She loved going to concerts and got to see many of these artists over the years.

 

As stated earlier my mum loved a party and as we got older the family house parties changed, especially the New Year’s Eve parties. One year I brought a large group of us maybe around 15/20 back after our night out and a tradition began.  My friends built a really strong relationship with my Mum over the years, I don’t think any of them saw her as a second mother, more as a friend.  They could relax around her and more often than not she would enable and encourage the antics.  My friends, as did I, loved Mum’s food, the ribs, and the meringues have been mentioned to me this week on several occasions.  She was such a good host, that even when I started working on New Year’s Eve, my friends would go back anyway!  They were always welcome, she loved my friends, she would always ask about them, and would always let me know when she had seen them. 

 

I miss my Mum, I have done for a long time now.  I find it hard trying to describe her to people who never met her.  The words, unique, one of a kind, a diamond, beautifully eccentric have been mentioned to me over the last week but to me none of them do her justice.

 

I know there are a lot of my friends, my sister’s friends and Mum’s friends upset that they couldn’t pay their respects today but we will honour Mum in the future with one last party to celebrate her life.’