Efe's Recovery After Abusive BF
Donation protected
Two years ago, I entered a relationship that quickly became abusive. In the year and a half that I was with this man, I’ve undergone a lot of experiences that were emotionally, financially, sexually, and physically abusive. To put it bluntly, I have been stolen from, sexually assaulted and coerced, physically assaulted, emotionally manipulated, publicly humiliated, threatened, cheated on, and repeatedly gaslit to the point that I feel like I’ve lost my sanity.
I was fortunate to have escaped and I’m glad to be away from him. What most people don’t know is that even though I am physically away from my ex, I am still suffering from the aftermath of his abuse. Psychologically, my mental health has deteriorated. I am suffering from severe PTSD and depression as a result of the trauma that I have endured. I dissociate for days in a row, endure relentless flashbacks, and I have been (at least) passively suicidal for months. I have completely lost my sense of self. I feel like I have forgotten who I am.
The most devastating part, though, has been the financial aspects. My abuser was extremely financially abusive. I was never allowed to have control of my accounts. He stole my identity and used it to commit fraud in my name without my knowledge. He took literally every cent of what I made at work. He kept all of the finances from me and would threaten me into submission if I tried to inquire more. I had no idea how much he had stolen from me until I left him and the bills started coming in. My credit is destroyed to the point that I can’t even open a bank account. I have been overdrafted hundreds of dollars. I have so many hospital and medical bills in collections. My car was/is in danger of being repossessed. I owe police ticket fines for crimes I didn’t commit. Every day I am harassed by debt collectors. Every day I receive letters from different places threatening me or stating that I owe hundreds to thousands of dollars.
I have nothing anymore. No job, no money, nothing. There is little money for food. I barely have warm clothes for the winter. Life just feels incredibly overwhelming and impossible right now and I really need help.
My friends would describe me as an intelligent, bright, bubbly young woman – but I no longer see that in myself. I’m trying to pick up what little I have of my life left so I can get back on my own two feet. I want my purpose in life to involve helping and inspiring women like me - bright, curious, intuitive, young, queer women of color – to feel beautiful in their own skin. I now know and understand how vital it is to love and cherish all parts of oneself. We all deserve to live the life we want to live. I’m glad I have my life back, and I’d like to combine my creative talents (fashion, cosmetics) with my pharmaceutical/health knowledge (from my doctorate education) to help improve the lives of women and femmes everywhere.
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A breakdown of my expenses:
Rent, utilities, my car payment, my school loan, food, medical bills, parking tickets and fines that my ex accrued
I was fortunate to have escaped and I’m glad to be away from him. What most people don’t know is that even though I am physically away from my ex, I am still suffering from the aftermath of his abuse. Psychologically, my mental health has deteriorated. I am suffering from severe PTSD and depression as a result of the trauma that I have endured. I dissociate for days in a row, endure relentless flashbacks, and I have been (at least) passively suicidal for months. I have completely lost my sense of self. I feel like I have forgotten who I am.
The most devastating part, though, has been the financial aspects. My abuser was extremely financially abusive. I was never allowed to have control of my accounts. He stole my identity and used it to commit fraud in my name without my knowledge. He took literally every cent of what I made at work. He kept all of the finances from me and would threaten me into submission if I tried to inquire more. I had no idea how much he had stolen from me until I left him and the bills started coming in. My credit is destroyed to the point that I can’t even open a bank account. I have been overdrafted hundreds of dollars. I have so many hospital and medical bills in collections. My car was/is in danger of being repossessed. I owe police ticket fines for crimes I didn’t commit. Every day I am harassed by debt collectors. Every day I receive letters from different places threatening me or stating that I owe hundreds to thousands of dollars.
I have nothing anymore. No job, no money, nothing. There is little money for food. I barely have warm clothes for the winter. Life just feels incredibly overwhelming and impossible right now and I really need help.
My friends would describe me as an intelligent, bright, bubbly young woman – but I no longer see that in myself. I’m trying to pick up what little I have of my life left so I can get back on my own two feet. I want my purpose in life to involve helping and inspiring women like me - bright, curious, intuitive, young, queer women of color – to feel beautiful in their own skin. I now know and understand how vital it is to love and cherish all parts of oneself. We all deserve to live the life we want to live. I’m glad I have my life back, and I’d like to combine my creative talents (fashion, cosmetics) with my pharmaceutical/health knowledge (from my doctorate education) to help improve the lives of women and femmes everywhere.
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A breakdown of my expenses:
Rent, utilities, my car payment, my school loan, food, medical bills, parking tickets and fines that my ex accrued
Organizer and beneficiary
Lani Dee
Organizer
San Diego, CA
A O
Beneficiary