Project Reboot
Donation protected
Thank you for taking the time to consider my story. I could go on and on with the details of how I ended up “living in a van down by the ocean“, as I did just that during my first attempt at writing this. I’m finding it extremely difficult to be concise and I ask myself, “Does it really matter how I became homeless ?” Whether I am entirely to blame or it happened completely out of my control, regardless, I’m in this pickle and I need help out.
The point I’m trying to make is - anyone could end up in this position. Admittedly, I took gambles and risks with little stability or leverage, but we only get one lap in this life. At all times, I’m doing the best I can with what I have and doing what I think is right. “Often wrong, seldom in doubt.” The plus is, I learn from the mistakes I make, then re-evaluate and re-position my approach. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to cover the difference between what my mistakes have cost versus what I gained in wisdom or progress. I went right when I should’ve went left, went rogue at times perhaps I should've stayed the course, trusted people I shouldn’t have… whatever reasons I could give you I realize, just come off as excuses and “playing the blame game.” I know I’m not entirely at fault as it takes two to tango in any scenario and I’ve always, always been a subordinate. Standing up for myself and doing what I feel is right has cost me gravely. I accept 100% responsibility for my share in the situation, but I’ve practically been homeless since 2008 - bouncing around from place to place, hanging by a thread financially, trying to make my dreams a reality and keep my life and relationships afloat - it just took a really long time to finally snap and crash and burn.
I’ve held nearly 30 addresses in my 35 years, and I only lived at one until I was 18. My resume is a bit of a mess due to gaps of employment when I was chasing one dream or another. My resume is also very long, not having stayed at any job longer than a year and a half. I’ve worked at 33 different establishments in my life, and most employers do not view that as an asset. Instead of many years invested at one role, doing one job, under one organization, I have a well-rounded perspective and skill-set which would make a strong contribution to an organization.
That said, at this point, I’d really like the opportunity to finish what I started so many years ago. I think I earned the right to see, but I need some help to be able to give it the effort I’ve never had the time, tools, contacts or resources to do.
For 8 years I’ve been working on 5 inter-connected projects, geared toward the same purpose - to create a platform to launch my business/App. Each project is as follows - 1) I’m a singer/rapper/dancer/songwriter so the first step is music. 2) I’ve written 2 books - Pirfekt Christianity: a behind the scenes look at my own Road to Damascus - the good, bad and ugly transition and the battle that ensues between the flesh and Holy Spirit, and, Calling Bull$h*t! which uses a Rachel Maddow meets Steven Colbert approach to discussing the cause and effect between poverty and manipulation strategies used by media, government, religion, politics, capitalism, and the rich and powerful to oppress, control and impoverish the masses, on a local and global level. 3) I plan to use the music and books as a platform to launch an App WITH fans, which is like eHarmony or Match.com for exchanging new, off-market, products and labor on a buy/sell/trade/borrow/pro-bono basis. 4) In addition to the aforementioned, I’m currently working on 2 on-going documentaries: Go hard or go homeless: A candid look at my efforts to recover from homelessness while still pursuing my goals, and, Non-Profits: Time for an audit? , which is a documentary about non-profits orgs such as churches and those specifically geared toward helping people. My goal was to find the help I’m now asking you for. In the year and a half I’ve been without a job, with mounting problems and bills, I haven’t been able to find the help I need and I don't think it's because I haven't tried. The help available has been good for getting me through the day, but not in the areas that would help me get up and stay up. I was surprised by the treatment by people who are paid to care so I started recording my experiences, as I’m often recorded for “quality and training purposes”. I became curious and my goal more focused, wanting to find out - what is the cause of the organization, how much does it earn in donations per year, how are those funds allocated, and what is the follow-up process to track recipients and their progress.
I’m also working on writing my first manuscript called In the Beginning. This project has been a great outlet helping me cope with my circumstances. As a result of being dubbed “crazy” when I discuss my thoughts about my story or the spiritual world, I decided to put my perspective into a sci-fi dramedy with 2 timelines, flashing backwards and forward between the beginning and my story now, depicting the seen and unseen realms (discussed in the Bible), starring God, Jesus, Satan, Angels, Demons, and humans. It starts off with a snow globe sitting atop a mantel of a futuristic-looking room. The mantel has 7 snow-globes on it. The shot pans into one particular snow globe, penetrates through the clear globe, and down to the world going on in it - God and the Archangel Michael on a golf course having a conversation before Michael executes his plans to overthrow God’s thrown resulting in his ultimate role as Satan, and the battle for the vessels of humans.
To sum it all up -
I’ve been much like the prodigal son (or daughter, rather); I made a lot of mistakes. It may have taken several laps around making the same mistakes in order to finally sink in and learn- but now I‘m stuck. Which leads to why I’m asking for a reboot. With just a little boost and I feel confident I’ll be back on my feet in no time.
What I’m looking to accomplish with the help I receive from GoFundMe -
1) Pay off whatever tickets I owe and reinstate my license, registration and insurance, and get brakes on my van so that I can drive.
2) A place to park my van in the meantime that has access to wifi (If I can’t afford to live alone, then I’ll live in my van. Due to my experiences and because I need silence and peace in order to concentrate and work, I need to live alone. Staying in my van is fine, it’s not having an income or being able to drive that is.)
3) A part-time job in food service or clerical/administrative/household or professional assistance.
4) Purchase tools such as
A laptop with a hard drive (the one I have doesn’t have a hard drive or CD rom and the screen is broken. My macbook died! I got the file with the question mark on it and that was it. I need movie maker to be able to edit my documentaries.
Copyrights and patent protection for my ideas
Go-Pro and voice recorders to continue making my documentary without having to strap my ipad mini to my body or use my phone. I’m out of space on the devices I have left.
An external hard-drive as I need a lot of space.
A wireless speaker and microphone for street performing on venice and santa monica boardwalk.
Beats and studio time to record my tracks.
A new SD card for my phone.
A new dog carrier for my dog GG.
New sheets and comforter for my bed (I haven’t been able to get to laundry. To my understanding, Laundry for Love non-profit org doesn’t allow pets.)
Things to get my hygiene and clothing back to a reasonable and presentable place.
Thank you for your consideration in taking your time to read this. Thank you in advance for your contribution towards my restitution. Please let me know if you’d like to be updated on my progress via email -
www.facebook.com/nicolembarker
The point I’m trying to make is - anyone could end up in this position. Admittedly, I took gambles and risks with little stability or leverage, but we only get one lap in this life. At all times, I’m doing the best I can with what I have and doing what I think is right. “Often wrong, seldom in doubt.” The plus is, I learn from the mistakes I make, then re-evaluate and re-position my approach. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to cover the difference between what my mistakes have cost versus what I gained in wisdom or progress. I went right when I should’ve went left, went rogue at times perhaps I should've stayed the course, trusted people I shouldn’t have… whatever reasons I could give you I realize, just come off as excuses and “playing the blame game.” I know I’m not entirely at fault as it takes two to tango in any scenario and I’ve always, always been a subordinate. Standing up for myself and doing what I feel is right has cost me gravely. I accept 100% responsibility for my share in the situation, but I’ve practically been homeless since 2008 - bouncing around from place to place, hanging by a thread financially, trying to make my dreams a reality and keep my life and relationships afloat - it just took a really long time to finally snap and crash and burn.
I’ve held nearly 30 addresses in my 35 years, and I only lived at one until I was 18. My resume is a bit of a mess due to gaps of employment when I was chasing one dream or another. My resume is also very long, not having stayed at any job longer than a year and a half. I’ve worked at 33 different establishments in my life, and most employers do not view that as an asset. Instead of many years invested at one role, doing one job, under one organization, I have a well-rounded perspective and skill-set which would make a strong contribution to an organization.
That said, at this point, I’d really like the opportunity to finish what I started so many years ago. I think I earned the right to see, but I need some help to be able to give it the effort I’ve never had the time, tools, contacts or resources to do.
For 8 years I’ve been working on 5 inter-connected projects, geared toward the same purpose - to create a platform to launch my business/App. Each project is as follows - 1) I’m a singer/rapper/dancer/songwriter so the first step is music. 2) I’ve written 2 books - Pirfekt Christianity: a behind the scenes look at my own Road to Damascus - the good, bad and ugly transition and the battle that ensues between the flesh and Holy Spirit, and, Calling Bull$h*t! which uses a Rachel Maddow meets Steven Colbert approach to discussing the cause and effect between poverty and manipulation strategies used by media, government, religion, politics, capitalism, and the rich and powerful to oppress, control and impoverish the masses, on a local and global level. 3) I plan to use the music and books as a platform to launch an App WITH fans, which is like eHarmony or Match.com for exchanging new, off-market, products and labor on a buy/sell/trade/borrow/pro-bono basis. 4) In addition to the aforementioned, I’m currently working on 2 on-going documentaries: Go hard or go homeless: A candid look at my efforts to recover from homelessness while still pursuing my goals, and, Non-Profits: Time for an audit? , which is a documentary about non-profits orgs such as churches and those specifically geared toward helping people. My goal was to find the help I’m now asking you for. In the year and a half I’ve been without a job, with mounting problems and bills, I haven’t been able to find the help I need and I don't think it's because I haven't tried. The help available has been good for getting me through the day, but not in the areas that would help me get up and stay up. I was surprised by the treatment by people who are paid to care so I started recording my experiences, as I’m often recorded for “quality and training purposes”. I became curious and my goal more focused, wanting to find out - what is the cause of the organization, how much does it earn in donations per year, how are those funds allocated, and what is the follow-up process to track recipients and their progress.
I’m also working on writing my first manuscript called In the Beginning. This project has been a great outlet helping me cope with my circumstances. As a result of being dubbed “crazy” when I discuss my thoughts about my story or the spiritual world, I decided to put my perspective into a sci-fi dramedy with 2 timelines, flashing backwards and forward between the beginning and my story now, depicting the seen and unseen realms (discussed in the Bible), starring God, Jesus, Satan, Angels, Demons, and humans. It starts off with a snow globe sitting atop a mantel of a futuristic-looking room. The mantel has 7 snow-globes on it. The shot pans into one particular snow globe, penetrates through the clear globe, and down to the world going on in it - God and the Archangel Michael on a golf course having a conversation before Michael executes his plans to overthrow God’s thrown resulting in his ultimate role as Satan, and the battle for the vessels of humans.
To sum it all up -
I’ve been much like the prodigal son (or daughter, rather); I made a lot of mistakes. It may have taken several laps around making the same mistakes in order to finally sink in and learn- but now I‘m stuck. Which leads to why I’m asking for a reboot. With just a little boost and I feel confident I’ll be back on my feet in no time.
What I’m looking to accomplish with the help I receive from GoFundMe -
1) Pay off whatever tickets I owe and reinstate my license, registration and insurance, and get brakes on my van so that I can drive.
2) A place to park my van in the meantime that has access to wifi (If I can’t afford to live alone, then I’ll live in my van. Due to my experiences and because I need silence and peace in order to concentrate and work, I need to live alone. Staying in my van is fine, it’s not having an income or being able to drive that is.)
3) A part-time job in food service or clerical/administrative/household or professional assistance.
4) Purchase tools such as
A laptop with a hard drive (the one I have doesn’t have a hard drive or CD rom and the screen is broken. My macbook died! I got the file with the question mark on it and that was it. I need movie maker to be able to edit my documentaries.
Copyrights and patent protection for my ideas
Go-Pro and voice recorders to continue making my documentary without having to strap my ipad mini to my body or use my phone. I’m out of space on the devices I have left.
An external hard-drive as I need a lot of space.
A wireless speaker and microphone for street performing on venice and santa monica boardwalk.
Beats and studio time to record my tracks.
A new SD card for my phone.
A new dog carrier for my dog GG.
New sheets and comforter for my bed (I haven’t been able to get to laundry. To my understanding, Laundry for Love non-profit org doesn’t allow pets.)
Things to get my hygiene and clothing back to a reasonable and presentable place.
Thank you for your consideration in taking your time to read this. Thank you in advance for your contribution towards my restitution. Please let me know if you’d like to be updated on my progress via email -
www.facebook.com/nicolembarker
Organizer
Nicole Barker
Organizer
Malibu, CA
