Celebration of the life of Joanna Stallard Peard
Donation protected
As of right now .. many people know what has happened to my mom. Me and my mom have always been extremely close and thrived together through everything. This is the hardest situation I have ever handled. I normally never ask for help for myself .. and I am having a hard time doing it now.
But I do need help, I am not making money like I used to and I am in college and live off the money from college. I need help with whatever you can help me with. I will explain the details of what happened and what I have planned for her celebration of life.
If you can help with money, or connections to something, or cooking all those things are needed. I know some of you have a friend you can call and it easier to do that ...while some its easier to donate money ...and some it’s easier to cook. Whatever your strengths are ...I need it now. And the more people helping, makes the load lighter.
I will ... if I must, go completely broke to celebrate my mom’s life; because this is the woman who gave me life and her moments on this planet are worth way more than a single day of honoring her. And to all people she’s met she was always kind and helpful.
It has been suggested that I should let people help me. Anyone who knows me, knows I NEVER do that. But this is a big one and I never understood just how much it costs, and how difficult it is to complete this task when your heart is broken. Even if you cannot help - please come to the celebration of life and don’t feel like you should not; because YOU SHOULD.
So .. I’ll tell you the story of what happened to mom in one place, just in case you don't know it.
Thursday, March 28 2019, at 3am my mom screams out for help and my aunt comes running in her room. Moms says my heart hurts and then she collapsed and hits her face on the dresser near her and splits her tongue. Mom is unconscious, 911 tells my aunt to begin CPR and chest compressions. Ambulance comes and takes her to Hilo hospital. After a cat scan they determine her aorta tore and then she had a cardiac arrest. Queens hospital accepts the surgery and she’s medivac to Queens.
Mom finally arrives at queens at 840am. I am running next to her and the medivac team and then at the surgery doors I am stopped. 15 minutes later two cardiac surgeons come out and they’re trying to convenience me not to do the surgery. At this point, they only have what they have seen in 15 min called "subjective" and they didn’t do any more "objective" tests. I told them I want to them to do the surgery and instead they try to take down sedation. The understanding is that if they don’t get a yes nor no from her ...that they go with my decision to do the surgery. They let me in the room and she doesn't respond. I search for a doctor to tell them to proceed with what the plan was; but there is no one to be found. They leave her on life support and don’t come back until around 230pm. Finally, one of the two doctor comes back and shines a light in her eye and says ... now we 100% will not do the surgery.
I am so upset and screaming at him and he says he will call a neurologist; who did not show up until around 5pm. The neurologist explains her body must be kept in a cold for 36 hours and then follows heating for another 36 hours. I am upset and I ask why this wasn’t done a long time ago when she arrived. And why a MRI wasn’t done ...why wasn’t anything done all this time.
So, they wrap her in the machine that starts the 3-day process. The doctor says she "thinks" she’s brain dead. That first night her eye is responding, then she starts flexing her foot, then her leg, then her other leg ... followed by a gag reflex. They say they need more of a response and I ask them to at least give her morphine because we don’t know if she can feel all of this. They don’t do it, so she remains like this they whole time.
After the 3rd day (Sunday at 6pm) the 3 day treatment ends, she has not responded since that first day. The next Monday they finally do the MRI and find 100% oxygen deprivation to her brain and then it began to swell. The swelling traveled to the brain stem and destroyed it. The only function left is she breathes a little on her own.
I made the decision to take her off life support at 813pm and her heart stopped at 841pm. I literally broke in two ... I can’t explain the pain, but it takes over my entire mind and body and I was unable to do think of anything else. I laid with her until the staff made me leave. I held her in my arms until her body got cold and the color left her. I continued to stay until they put her in a bag ... they finally said I had to go. So, I walked away from her for the last time... I would never hold her and never lay my eyes on her again.
I spent the next day trying to get legal things completed but I wasn’t successful. The following day I spent just broken ... until I found a way to push down the pain so I can function. I have been trying non-stop to organize things and created a plan for her celebration of life. Through pricing it all I have found these things are adding up very fast. I must execute this plan and also gather documents for the legal side of everything; and while I catch up with my classes, and still take care of my daughter, and get the documents for the attorney. It’s becoming something that’s hard to do.
I need help with the celebration of life ... everything else I can handle. If I receive no help, I will adjust myself and make it happen regardless; but I am attempting to ask for help now, and I believe you’ll help me if you can ... with whatever you can.
The plan... right now I am going to aim for May 19th Sunday. This is subject to change if I cannot secure a place to rent; but will 100% be on a Sunday.
A full Hawaiian ceremony will begin on the Kailua beach; mom is from Kailua so the location is not an option to change. Drone will be filming it
A Kahu will cleanse the area and will chant her out. A Pahu drummer will also be chanting and the cong shell will be sounded.
There will be a pule with everyone holding hands in the water and 1000 orchid blood released.
This is followed by Haka dancers calling to the Hawaiian Gods and then canoes will bring her ashes out. When out on the ocean 2000 more orchid blooms will be released with her ashes and the Kahu again chants her to spirit to ascension.
After this, we will all go to a location to eat and I’ll play a video of mom and we can share stories of her life and celebrate it. I am also putting some ashes in a glass globe. Her mom, my grandma and other family that cannot travel will have their own celebration of life on the big island and they're handling that.
To get this done, it takes money, man power and connections. This is the break-down of the costs to complete this.
Cremation: 1200
Kahu: Donation
Haka dancers: Donation
Pahu drummer: Donation
Canoes: Donation
Flowers: 360
Ti leaf lei: Unknown
Venue to eat at and gather:
1300 lowest and only 9am-9pm,
highest 3000+ (over night)
Drone: 750
Food and drinks: 1000
Photographer: Cousin paying for it
Glass ash globes: 600
As you can see, this is well over 5000. The main people to make this type of Hawaiian celebration happen are all donations ... the Kahu, the canoes, The Haka dancers, the Pahu drummer.... but its only right to give them also.
The food is estimated at 50-75 people; I will do a poll to see how many will come in a few days. But if anything, it will be more than predicted. The menu will be my mom’s favorite foods:
Souyu chicken, Prime rib, Shrimp and crab legs, mac and salad and rice, with drinks.
My goal is hopefully to get near 5000 ... it will be more then that...and already putting in my entire tax return and about to wipe out my savings. As you can see when you the added money for donations ... this is well over 5000. Any little bit of money will add up and help... if you have a connection to a house I can rent in Kailua where I can cook and feed everyone that would be the easiest. If you have connections to ANYTHING that will bring the costs down ...that will help to.
We all have different strengths, please think of these things and see if you can help. For some money is easier than time or connections. I am going to put this on a go fund me ... if you want to do the money you can send it that way - or I can come and get it between classes - or I have the Cash app my code is: ($DionneSesepasara) or I have Square ... whichever you feel comfortable with.
If you have ideas or connections call me (808) [phone redacted]. If you can cook call me and we will figure out the logistics. Little bits of help will make this happen.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
But I do need help, I am not making money like I used to and I am in college and live off the money from college. I need help with whatever you can help me with. I will explain the details of what happened and what I have planned for her celebration of life.
If you can help with money, or connections to something, or cooking all those things are needed. I know some of you have a friend you can call and it easier to do that ...while some its easier to donate money ...and some it’s easier to cook. Whatever your strengths are ...I need it now. And the more people helping, makes the load lighter.
I will ... if I must, go completely broke to celebrate my mom’s life; because this is the woman who gave me life and her moments on this planet are worth way more than a single day of honoring her. And to all people she’s met she was always kind and helpful.
It has been suggested that I should let people help me. Anyone who knows me, knows I NEVER do that. But this is a big one and I never understood just how much it costs, and how difficult it is to complete this task when your heart is broken. Even if you cannot help - please come to the celebration of life and don’t feel like you should not; because YOU SHOULD.
So .. I’ll tell you the story of what happened to mom in one place, just in case you don't know it.
Thursday, March 28 2019, at 3am my mom screams out for help and my aunt comes running in her room. Moms says my heart hurts and then she collapsed and hits her face on the dresser near her and splits her tongue. Mom is unconscious, 911 tells my aunt to begin CPR and chest compressions. Ambulance comes and takes her to Hilo hospital. After a cat scan they determine her aorta tore and then she had a cardiac arrest. Queens hospital accepts the surgery and she’s medivac to Queens.
Mom finally arrives at queens at 840am. I am running next to her and the medivac team and then at the surgery doors I am stopped. 15 minutes later two cardiac surgeons come out and they’re trying to convenience me not to do the surgery. At this point, they only have what they have seen in 15 min called "subjective" and they didn’t do any more "objective" tests. I told them I want to them to do the surgery and instead they try to take down sedation. The understanding is that if they don’t get a yes nor no from her ...that they go with my decision to do the surgery. They let me in the room and she doesn't respond. I search for a doctor to tell them to proceed with what the plan was; but there is no one to be found. They leave her on life support and don’t come back until around 230pm. Finally, one of the two doctor comes back and shines a light in her eye and says ... now we 100% will not do the surgery.
I am so upset and screaming at him and he says he will call a neurologist; who did not show up until around 5pm. The neurologist explains her body must be kept in a cold for 36 hours and then follows heating for another 36 hours. I am upset and I ask why this wasn’t done a long time ago when she arrived. And why a MRI wasn’t done ...why wasn’t anything done all this time.
So, they wrap her in the machine that starts the 3-day process. The doctor says she "thinks" she’s brain dead. That first night her eye is responding, then she starts flexing her foot, then her leg, then her other leg ... followed by a gag reflex. They say they need more of a response and I ask them to at least give her morphine because we don’t know if she can feel all of this. They don’t do it, so she remains like this they whole time.
After the 3rd day (Sunday at 6pm) the 3 day treatment ends, she has not responded since that first day. The next Monday they finally do the MRI and find 100% oxygen deprivation to her brain and then it began to swell. The swelling traveled to the brain stem and destroyed it. The only function left is she breathes a little on her own.
I made the decision to take her off life support at 813pm and her heart stopped at 841pm. I literally broke in two ... I can’t explain the pain, but it takes over my entire mind and body and I was unable to do think of anything else. I laid with her until the staff made me leave. I held her in my arms until her body got cold and the color left her. I continued to stay until they put her in a bag ... they finally said I had to go. So, I walked away from her for the last time... I would never hold her and never lay my eyes on her again.
I spent the next day trying to get legal things completed but I wasn’t successful. The following day I spent just broken ... until I found a way to push down the pain so I can function. I have been trying non-stop to organize things and created a plan for her celebration of life. Through pricing it all I have found these things are adding up very fast. I must execute this plan and also gather documents for the legal side of everything; and while I catch up with my classes, and still take care of my daughter, and get the documents for the attorney. It’s becoming something that’s hard to do.
I need help with the celebration of life ... everything else I can handle. If I receive no help, I will adjust myself and make it happen regardless; but I am attempting to ask for help now, and I believe you’ll help me if you can ... with whatever you can.
The plan... right now I am going to aim for May 19th Sunday. This is subject to change if I cannot secure a place to rent; but will 100% be on a Sunday.
A full Hawaiian ceremony will begin on the Kailua beach; mom is from Kailua so the location is not an option to change. Drone will be filming it
A Kahu will cleanse the area and will chant her out. A Pahu drummer will also be chanting and the cong shell will be sounded.
There will be a pule with everyone holding hands in the water and 1000 orchid blood released.
This is followed by Haka dancers calling to the Hawaiian Gods and then canoes will bring her ashes out. When out on the ocean 2000 more orchid blooms will be released with her ashes and the Kahu again chants her to spirit to ascension.
After this, we will all go to a location to eat and I’ll play a video of mom and we can share stories of her life and celebrate it. I am also putting some ashes in a glass globe. Her mom, my grandma and other family that cannot travel will have their own celebration of life on the big island and they're handling that.
To get this done, it takes money, man power and connections. This is the break-down of the costs to complete this.
Cremation: 1200
Kahu: Donation
Haka dancers: Donation
Pahu drummer: Donation
Canoes: Donation
Flowers: 360
Ti leaf lei: Unknown
Venue to eat at and gather:
1300 lowest and only 9am-9pm,
highest 3000+ (over night)
Drone: 750
Food and drinks: 1000
Photographer: Cousin paying for it
Glass ash globes: 600
As you can see, this is well over 5000. The main people to make this type of Hawaiian celebration happen are all donations ... the Kahu, the canoes, The Haka dancers, the Pahu drummer.... but its only right to give them also.
The food is estimated at 50-75 people; I will do a poll to see how many will come in a few days. But if anything, it will be more than predicted. The menu will be my mom’s favorite foods:
Souyu chicken, Prime rib, Shrimp and crab legs, mac and salad and rice, with drinks.
My goal is hopefully to get near 5000 ... it will be more then that...and already putting in my entire tax return and about to wipe out my savings. As you can see when you the added money for donations ... this is well over 5000. Any little bit of money will add up and help... if you have a connection to a house I can rent in Kailua where I can cook and feed everyone that would be the easiest. If you have connections to ANYTHING that will bring the costs down ...that will help to.
We all have different strengths, please think of these things and see if you can help. For some money is easier than time or connections. I am going to put this on a go fund me ... if you want to do the money you can send it that way - or I can come and get it between classes - or I have the Cash app my code is: ($DionneSesepasara) or I have Square ... whichever you feel comfortable with.
If you have ideas or connections call me (808) [phone redacted]. If you can cook call me and we will figure out the logistics. Little bits of help will make this happen.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Organizer
Dionne Stallard Sesepasara
Organizer
Honolulu, HI
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