Care for my Mother, Jan Freeman
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My mother, Jan Freeman, was put into a convent when she was 5 years old, raised by the nuns and then became a nun, after which she decided it was not her calling after all. She went to college and met my dad, a poor boy from the wrong side of the tracks. They married and had three boys almost immediately.
My father, a great and brilliant man, worked very hard to become self-sufficient and in fact died quite wealthy but quite young. After 41 years of marriage, my mother was left alone at age 61 and has been alone since, having turned 84 this May 23. She lost her sight and was home-bound for much of ten years. On April 11 of this year, she fell and broker her hip -- first break in her life. It was my fault she fell. She was seated in her recliner in the upright position as she often sat. I raised the footrest thinking she would appreciate that. I left her apartment to go to the car for my phone charger and when she got up she stumbled on the footrest and fell. I returned to find her on the floor. Life changed remarkably that day. It has changed everything. She can no longer be independent, Although her personality is still spicy, her beauty is still evident, her charm is still engaging, she is in need of additional care. The type of care I am not qualified to give her.
Asking for help comes with a great deal of shame and embarrassment, especially since my family once had the means to care for ourselves -- and others. And care for others we did. My father and mother were very kind and generous people. Now, my mother, having supported the poor habits and bad choices of two of my three brothers, one who died a few years ago at 52 and the other who died two years ago at 60, is penniless. She gets my father's social security and teachers retirement which disqualifies her from Medicaid and is not near enough for the medical expenses she has incurred.
She has not had an easy life and it appears she will not have an easy death. I am moving her into an assisted living facility in CA from LA. I will pack her clothes and a few pictures, a toothbrush and not much more, then put her in a wheelchair to board a plane with me on May 30. Her life will be changed forever, as mine and my family's has been.
I need to cover the cost of her dementia care in the assisted living facility to the tune of approximately $6500 a month. I will use the $3600 from her own income and have to supplement the remainder. I have taken a paid but temporary leave of absence from work to help her adapt to her new home and surroundings. It will not be easy for any of us but life isn't always easy. I will have to cover the additional $2900 a month over time. Up front, however, I will need to get a medical bed, a wheelchair, a walker and other necessary medical equipment and services. They will bring her the medication she needs and they will tend to her personal needs. This all costs money.
I am asking for help for these additional medical expenses for my mother. I don't know how long she will incur these expenses but...
For those of you who knew my father, a medical doctor, the irony is certainly not lost on you that he healed so many and now, his wife, my mother cannot afford healing of her own. #doctorhealthyself
My father, a great and brilliant man, worked very hard to become self-sufficient and in fact died quite wealthy but quite young. After 41 years of marriage, my mother was left alone at age 61 and has been alone since, having turned 84 this May 23. She lost her sight and was home-bound for much of ten years. On April 11 of this year, she fell and broker her hip -- first break in her life. It was my fault she fell. She was seated in her recliner in the upright position as she often sat. I raised the footrest thinking she would appreciate that. I left her apartment to go to the car for my phone charger and when she got up she stumbled on the footrest and fell. I returned to find her on the floor. Life changed remarkably that day. It has changed everything. She can no longer be independent, Although her personality is still spicy, her beauty is still evident, her charm is still engaging, she is in need of additional care. The type of care I am not qualified to give her.
Asking for help comes with a great deal of shame and embarrassment, especially since my family once had the means to care for ourselves -- and others. And care for others we did. My father and mother were very kind and generous people. Now, my mother, having supported the poor habits and bad choices of two of my three brothers, one who died a few years ago at 52 and the other who died two years ago at 60, is penniless. She gets my father's social security and teachers retirement which disqualifies her from Medicaid and is not near enough for the medical expenses she has incurred.
She has not had an easy life and it appears she will not have an easy death. I am moving her into an assisted living facility in CA from LA. I will pack her clothes and a few pictures, a toothbrush and not much more, then put her in a wheelchair to board a plane with me on May 30. Her life will be changed forever, as mine and my family's has been.
I need to cover the cost of her dementia care in the assisted living facility to the tune of approximately $6500 a month. I will use the $3600 from her own income and have to supplement the remainder. I have taken a paid but temporary leave of absence from work to help her adapt to her new home and surroundings. It will not be easy for any of us but life isn't always easy. I will have to cover the additional $2900 a month over time. Up front, however, I will need to get a medical bed, a wheelchair, a walker and other necessary medical equipment and services. They will bring her the medication she needs and they will tend to her personal needs. This all costs money.
I am asking for help for these additional medical expenses for my mother. I don't know how long she will incur these expenses but...
For those of you who knew my father, a medical doctor, the irony is certainly not lost on you that he healed so many and now, his wife, my mother cannot afford healing of her own. #doctorhealthyself
Organizer
Susan C. Freeman
Organizer
South San Francisco, CA
