Litigation with a Vampire
Donation protected
No, I'm not name-calling. I know I'm not the first to call my mother-in-law a vampire, but in this case it's the MIL making the assertion .
Preemptive tl;dr
My abusive "vampire" mother-in-law is suing for custody of my super cool non-vampire daughter. Said vamp-in-law has a weak case, but access to her daddy's bank account. Our evidentiary hearing is on June 15th, and short of Buffy charging into the courtroom, our only hope is to come up with $5,000 to cover legal costs.
Edited to Add: we've worked out a payment plan, meaning the situation isn't quite so dire; see update 1.
If you want details or have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Thank you so much for your time and interest.
This is my four-year-old daughter, who we'll affectionately refer to as Bubbles. Someday Bubbles will be our benevolent overlord--er, I mean change the world. We all change the world, all the time, even through the smallest of actions. You've likely made a difference to someone today, for better or worse. That's pretty cool of you. In fact, you're pretty cool in general. Attractive too. Have you been working out? It shows.
Okay, stop flexing for a minute and listen. I swear the fast-approaching bare-bones sob story is necessary for you to understand what comes next, so please be patient with me.
Alex & Bubbles
When Bubbles was less than a year old, her father committed suicide. Alex had been my best friend for five years, my husband for four, and an obnoxiously proud father since the day we found out I was pregnant. He was also very ill, weighed down with self-loathing and a strong sense of being alone in the world. From the day I met him, he was a sad, sweet boy who desperately needed someone to be on his side. In the end, I failed to be that person for him. I don't know what else to say without sending out the pity party e-vites. I wish things were different.
See, that wasn't so bad. For you, I mean. Me? I'm on antidepressants and they're just swell.
Anyway, as I do not wish to harass anyone, I'll hereafter refer to Alex's estranged mother by her self-appointed pseudonym: Mistress Vampyra.
At the beginning of February 2017, Vampyra served me with a complaint for custody, using Alex's death as her primary justification to invoke grandparent rights.
She pulled a blitzkrieg, calling in a superfluous wellness check, sending Child Protective Services to my home, and slandering my name among our mutual acquaintances. The police officer on the wellness check saw no problems, the CPS investigator found her claims against me unsubstantiated, and I couldn't care less what the rest think. My daugher is well-fed, clothed, and cared for. She has her own room, more toys than we know what to do with, and is treated with love and respect.
Point is, I'm a fit parent. Vampyra is not.
The catalyst for her bureaucratic temper tantrum was my decision to cut contact after being presented with evidence of child abuse perpetrated by her live-in boyfriend. Her immediate response was to deny it, cover for him, and sue me for custody and legal fees. It has since come to my attention that she was aware of, and likely actively involved in, the abuse. Even without taking this into account, it can be argued that she has never been fit to raise children.
Vampyra raised Alex in the local BDSM community. She allowed him to participate in her fringe lifestyle as an underage teenager. "Safe, sane, and consensual" inherently excludes minors, as anyone could surmise with an ounce of common sense.
Alex was also extensively involved in the "otherkin" community from a young age, again by his mother's influence. In case you're unfamiliar, Otherkin believe themselves to be magical/other creatures trapped in human bodies. Werewolves, elves, dragons, celestial bodies, sapient mushrooms; anything goes. My husband believed himself to be a vampire when we first met, just as Vampyra believes herself to be today.
Those are just two brief examples of Vampyra's inability to behave as a responsible parental figure. She chases the attention she craves, to the detriment of those who rely on her. This is evidenced below.
Tyra Banks Show--Parts 4 & 5 feature Vampyra.
Secret Lives of Women dialogue sample--Unfortunately, I can no longer find a copy of the Secret Lives of Women episode mentioned in the Tyra Banks Show, but here's a partial transcript.
Interview with Las Vegas Weekly --In which it's clear that her underage son has been conditioned to accept Vampyra's behavior as mundane.
These are only the practices and beliefs she has gone public with. Out of respect for the basic human(oid) right to privacy in one's own home, I won't go into detail regarding her daily behavior.
I would also like to point out that this is not meant as an attack on any particular community so much as it is a demonstration of Vampyra's unethical and irresponsible personal practices. If you get off on pretending to be a vampire, that's your business. I'm all about acceptance, and I'm not looking to incite fear or hatred. But when you force impressionable children into both your sex life and day-to-day role-playing, denying them the basic necessity of a genuine, stable parental figure, it's no longer a lifestyle choice protected under our constitution. It's psychological and sexual abuse.
My husband was abused, and there's no getting around it. Either Vampyra knew what she was doing to Alex was wrong and carried on anyway or mental illness has completely obscured her view of reality. Either way, she denies wrongdoing, and neither possibility inspires confidence in her ability to raise a child in an emotionally healthy manner.
Malicious intent or mental illness, there's no excusing the systematic grooming for abuse and cult-like indoctrination into a socially and emotionally debilitating lifestyle. Alex spent his entire life, all 24 short years of it, suffering for Vampyra's poor decisions. Now she's trying to do the same thing to his young daughter.
With her debate skills and tenacity, I'd have Bubbles represent us if I could. Unfortunately, her retainer is prohibitively expensive and only payable in chocolate coins, of which I have none. Besides, I've heard she nickel & dimes people something awful.
Thankfully, we've found an attorney who has worked with us financially. As of now, I'm paying off a flat-rate for services up to and including the initial hearing, which I had hoped would be the end of this nightmare. But Vampyra is determined to get what she wants, and so her people have pushed forward. We have an evidentiary hearing on June 15th, and the cutoff for submission is in May. This means we have less than two months to find the money and put our defense and counter together.
While we're confident in our ability to win, there's a shiny new $5,000 hurdle on the track. We'll pay as much of it as we can, but our resources are almost exhausted. We've tried not to ask for money, but there's no choice now. We can't do this without proper representation, and we've run out of options. The opposition has more money than we do, and they know it. They're counting on us not to fight, 'cause that's the only way they'll win.
Please, if you can, help us fight. I know money is tight all over, and I won't ask anyone to put themselves out to help us. But anything at all can make a difference, whether a share, a prayer, or a word of encouragement.
Bubbles deserves every chance to be the happy, healthy, hilarious girl she's become. We're so proud of her, of everything she does and everything she is. We need to keep her safe.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Even if you can't contribute, I appreciate your presence, your thoughts, and you.
Stay safe and remember to be kind to yourself.
-Liz
Preemptive tl;dr
My abusive "vampire" mother-in-law is suing for custody of my super cool non-vampire daughter. Said vamp-in-law has a weak case, but access to her daddy's bank account. Our evidentiary hearing is on June 15th, and short of Buffy charging into the courtroom, our only hope is to come up with $5,000 to cover legal costs.
Edited to Add: we've worked out a payment plan, meaning the situation isn't quite so dire; see update 1.
If you want details or have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Thank you so much for your time and interest.
This is my four-year-old daughter, who we'll affectionately refer to as Bubbles. Someday Bubbles will be our benevolent overlord--er, I mean change the world. We all change the world, all the time, even through the smallest of actions. You've likely made a difference to someone today, for better or worse. That's pretty cool of you. In fact, you're pretty cool in general. Attractive too. Have you been working out? It shows.
Okay, stop flexing for a minute and listen. I swear the fast-approaching bare-bones sob story is necessary for you to understand what comes next, so please be patient with me.
Alex & Bubbles
When Bubbles was less than a year old, her father committed suicide. Alex had been my best friend for five years, my husband for four, and an obnoxiously proud father since the day we found out I was pregnant. He was also very ill, weighed down with self-loathing and a strong sense of being alone in the world. From the day I met him, he was a sad, sweet boy who desperately needed someone to be on his side. In the end, I failed to be that person for him. I don't know what else to say without sending out the pity party e-vites. I wish things were different.
See, that wasn't so bad. For you, I mean. Me? I'm on antidepressants and they're just swell.
Anyway, as I do not wish to harass anyone, I'll hereafter refer to Alex's estranged mother by her self-appointed pseudonym: Mistress Vampyra.
At the beginning of February 2017, Vampyra served me with a complaint for custody, using Alex's death as her primary justification to invoke grandparent rights.
She pulled a blitzkrieg, calling in a superfluous wellness check, sending Child Protective Services to my home, and slandering my name among our mutual acquaintances. The police officer on the wellness check saw no problems, the CPS investigator found her claims against me unsubstantiated, and I couldn't care less what the rest think. My daugher is well-fed, clothed, and cared for. She has her own room, more toys than we know what to do with, and is treated with love and respect.
Point is, I'm a fit parent. Vampyra is not.
The catalyst for her bureaucratic temper tantrum was my decision to cut contact after being presented with evidence of child abuse perpetrated by her live-in boyfriend. Her immediate response was to deny it, cover for him, and sue me for custody and legal fees. It has since come to my attention that she was aware of, and likely actively involved in, the abuse. Even without taking this into account, it can be argued that she has never been fit to raise children.
Vampyra raised Alex in the local BDSM community. She allowed him to participate in her fringe lifestyle as an underage teenager. "Safe, sane, and consensual" inherently excludes minors, as anyone could surmise with an ounce of common sense.
Alex was also extensively involved in the "otherkin" community from a young age, again by his mother's influence. In case you're unfamiliar, Otherkin believe themselves to be magical/other creatures trapped in human bodies. Werewolves, elves, dragons, celestial bodies, sapient mushrooms; anything goes. My husband believed himself to be a vampire when we first met, just as Vampyra believes herself to be today.
Those are just two brief examples of Vampyra's inability to behave as a responsible parental figure. She chases the attention she craves, to the detriment of those who rely on her. This is evidenced below.
Tyra Banks Show--Parts 4 & 5 feature Vampyra.
Secret Lives of Women dialogue sample--Unfortunately, I can no longer find a copy of the Secret Lives of Women episode mentioned in the Tyra Banks Show, but here's a partial transcript.
Interview with Las Vegas Weekly --In which it's clear that her underage son has been conditioned to accept Vampyra's behavior as mundane.
These are only the practices and beliefs she has gone public with. Out of respect for the basic human(oid) right to privacy in one's own home, I won't go into detail regarding her daily behavior.
I would also like to point out that this is not meant as an attack on any particular community so much as it is a demonstration of Vampyra's unethical and irresponsible personal practices. If you get off on pretending to be a vampire, that's your business. I'm all about acceptance, and I'm not looking to incite fear or hatred. But when you force impressionable children into both your sex life and day-to-day role-playing, denying them the basic necessity of a genuine, stable parental figure, it's no longer a lifestyle choice protected under our constitution. It's psychological and sexual abuse.
My husband was abused, and there's no getting around it. Either Vampyra knew what she was doing to Alex was wrong and carried on anyway or mental illness has completely obscured her view of reality. Either way, she denies wrongdoing, and neither possibility inspires confidence in her ability to raise a child in an emotionally healthy manner.
Malicious intent or mental illness, there's no excusing the systematic grooming for abuse and cult-like indoctrination into a socially and emotionally debilitating lifestyle. Alex spent his entire life, all 24 short years of it, suffering for Vampyra's poor decisions. Now she's trying to do the same thing to his young daughter.
With her debate skills and tenacity, I'd have Bubbles represent us if I could. Unfortunately, her retainer is prohibitively expensive and only payable in chocolate coins, of which I have none. Besides, I've heard she nickel & dimes people something awful.
Thankfully, we've found an attorney who has worked with us financially. As of now, I'm paying off a flat-rate for services up to and including the initial hearing, which I had hoped would be the end of this nightmare. But Vampyra is determined to get what she wants, and so her people have pushed forward. We have an evidentiary hearing on June 15th, and the cutoff for submission is in May. This means we have less than two months to find the money and put our defense and counter together.
While we're confident in our ability to win, there's a shiny new $5,000 hurdle on the track. We'll pay as much of it as we can, but our resources are almost exhausted. We've tried not to ask for money, but there's no choice now. We can't do this without proper representation, and we've run out of options. The opposition has more money than we do, and they know it. They're counting on us not to fight, 'cause that's the only way they'll win.
Please, if you can, help us fight. I know money is tight all over, and I won't ask anyone to put themselves out to help us. But anything at all can make a difference, whether a share, a prayer, or a word of encouragement.
Bubbles deserves every chance to be the happy, healthy, hilarious girl she's become. We're so proud of her, of everything she does and everything she is. We need to keep her safe.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Even if you can't contribute, I appreciate your presence, your thoughts, and you.
Stay safe and remember to be kind to yourself.
-Liz
Organizer
Elizabeth Bentley
Organizer
Las Vegas, NV