keeping Faith

$8,635 of $15,000 goal

Raised by 134 people in 54 months

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Hi everyone our names are Lizzie and Daniel,
we have a unique story that we would like to share in efforts to raise money for our family during a particularly hard time. We have three children, Jordan 9, Caden (almost) 6 and Faith.  Faith is our newest addition but isnt able to be at home with us because of her prematurity.  This story is about her and how she is a miracle in everyones eyes.  In february 2014 we decided we wanted to have one more child and hoped for a girl since we have two boys.  In June we saw our little girl on ultrasound and were overwhelmed with excitement. In fact after the ultrasound was done I went into the restroom and secretly jumped up and down with excitement. The first thing Daniel and I did was go pick out a few little outfits for our daughter. That excitment turned into pure fear Thursday morning July 17th at 3am.  As Daniel was getting ready for work I woke up and noticed that I was leaking clear fluid.  I didnt think too much of it so after Daniel headed to work I calmly called the Dr to see what I should do.  Being only 22 weeks along (not due until novemeber 15th) I thought that the Dr would have me go to the ER, but instead the on call Dr told me to go to the family birthing center right away.  I woke up our boys around 6am and dragged them out of the house to go stay at grandmas house (Daniels mom and step dad) while I went to the Doctor. As I entered the Doctors office I figured It would be something miniscule and he would send me home,but I was wrong, very wrong.  I tested positive for amniotic fluid and when my Doctor checked my water he confirmed I completley ruptured the bag.  All I remember after that was yelling and crying in a panic telling my Doctor,"no youre wrong!!!" and started shaking with fear. I could hear other women right on the other side of the curtain laoring through contractions excited to be on their way to having a baby. My Doctor told me he was sorry and theres nothing he could do and he needed to hospitilize me right away to prevent myself from getting an infection. I prayed and prayed and prayed every night. I tried to hold in her for as many days as possible and was prepared to sit in bed for months because I really did not want her to come before 23 weeks, if she came before 23 weeks the doctors would not try save her.  On sunday the 20th of July I was having some cramping but tried to ignore it thinking it was just a stomach ache from all the antibiotics.  By sunday she was 23 weeks and 2 days and I had been in the hospital for 4 days.  Daniel was on his way over with the boys while I was sitting in my bed talking to my mom waiting for him to arrive.  I got up to use the restroom and thats when everything went downhill.  Before I stood up off the toilet I looked down to see if I had bled anymore since the last time I used the restroom because i had been bleeding alot and had been bleeding almost my whole pregnancy but my doctor told me he wasnt worried about it. I also had told him that I thought i was leaking amniotic fluid two weeks prior to these events and he said no your not,without even checking me.  So when i stood up I was completley horrified when I saw that the umbilical cord had partially come out, what they call a prolapsed cord.  I screamed for my mom to get the nurse and got back into bed quickly.  All of the sudden a rush of doctors came in and started assessing the baby through ultrasound. The Doctor did an ultrasound and found her heartbeat but noticed that she had turned and was now feet first instead of head first. The Doctor did an internal exam and confirmed her feet were already in the birth canal with the cord, but I had not started labor yet. Because my water broke she was just able to start slipping out.  By then I was screaming at him and yelling that I just wanted Daniel to be there. I screamed at the top of my lungs, "NO NO NO NO PUT HER BACK!!!"  When Daniel showed up i was hysterical and told him that the Doctor said our little girl was gone and there was nothing he could do. Daniel burst into tears and yelled at him saying, "its our choice. You have to do whatever it takes to save her" but the Doctor insisted there was nothing he could do.  He also told our family that was in the other room, that she was gone and couldnt be saved. The Doctor left Daniel and I crying in eachothers arms for about an hour and said he would come back when we were ready to induce labor.  I remember thinking how awkward it felt laying there with her partially coming out and why wouldnt he just take her out now? I could feel the heartbeat of the umbilical cord so i knew she was still alive, but the doctor told me she would probably die in my arms.  He came back another half an hour to hour later and asked if we were ready to induce?  Even though I wasnt ready to give birth to a baby I was told had already passed away, I had no choice and Daniel was losing his patience with the Doctor,  he actually yelled at the Doctor and said, "Yes! Cant you see shes in pain?! lets just get it over with.  Get her out now" the Doctor said he wouldnt be able to get her out until I was fully dialated and induced me. In the hour it took for me to go into labor we were left alone in the room once again to just wait. Daniel kept asking me where are they why werent they at least trying to help her. Daniel and I were crying the whole time trying staring into eachothers eyes and I just ketp apologizing for letting him down and not being able to save his daughter to which he responded ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. we cried trying figure out how to cope with the situation when she comes out and we still hadnt picked a name. Daniel said I should pick the name I liked the most and in that moment I decided I really wanted to name her faith. The nurse came back in a little while later and I asked what we were supposed to do with our daughter after she was born and she told me I would need to make funeral arrangements for her.  By then I was in so much pain from the contractions and decided it was best to get an epidural becuase I was already in shock from hearing that my daughter was gone I could not also handle the pain. Finally I was dialated enough to push although i could not feel her come out at all, feet first.  I just remember Daniel holding my hand and encouraging me to push. He brushed my hair back from my face constantly and told me to squeeze his hand then kissed me.  When she finally came out I buried my head in Daniels arms so I wouldnt have to see her, but Daniel was brave enough to look at her and after a few min of her being born I noticed his face went calm and he stopped crying, but i didnt know why.  The doctors were working on Faith, but i didnt think it meant anything about her being alive until I heard the team of doctors announce she had a heart rate of 50.  My Doctor got up before he was even done with me, bloody gloves still on and went over to where faith was and stood there with his jaw dropped in awe of the fact she was still breathing.  He had left her in the birth canal partially coming out assuming she was dead, not based on little faith herself but based on the statistics he knew.  In fact at one point after Faith was born the nurse said to us, "are you sure you want to continue saving her?" and the Doctor quickly snapped back at her and said, "yes!" almost as if he was annoyed she was even asking. Then he said," they already know the long term consequences of saving a baby born this early"  My doctor had repeatedly told me since the day my water broke that babies born this early are the kids you see in wheelchairs with tubes coming out of every orphace of their bodies and it would be a huge burden on our family to have a mentally handicapped child. After my nurse and doctor finished with me the doctor left immediatley without even really saying anything.  A little while later the nurse came in and said Faith was on life support, but stable enough to transport her to Sutter in Sacramento where the best NICU team was available.  This is also where I was already supposed to be, but my doctor said he didnt want to transport me down to that hospital yet because the staff was too busy, even though the NICU team at sutter roseville where I was at, had already told the doctor they wanted me to go downtown to sutter in Sacramento immediately.  After a few hours they brought faith into my room to my bedside in an isolette so I could see her before she got transported.  I started crying as soon as I saw her and told her I was sorry because I felt like it was all my fault.  How could I let this happen to her. My first girl. Daniel decided to go downtown with her and after hugging me and kissing me trying to get me to calm down, left and I was all alone thinking the worst possible scenario,that when he got there she wouldnt be alive anymore. After Faith arrived at the hospital her doctor called me and said he had her and she was stable, but babies this early tend to do well in the very beginning and then go downhill.  I told him just do what you have to to save her. just take care of her. The next day I quickly got released from the hospital to go see her. I knew she was still ok because Daniel had sent me a little video of her after she was put in the NICU.  Faith was born on July 20th at 1lb 3 oz and 11 inches long. four months ealry. Every day is a milestone for her and everyday i cry for her.  Today she weighs 1lb 1oz, but they expect her to lose weight as all newborns do.  Her doctor said to us, "every day we go without something major happening, is a good sign nothing will"  so far day 5 and she has had no big problems.  Shes on the ventilator but not on full support which the doctors thought was just a miracle. They expect her to need to many blood transfusions but hope thats the worst part. The whole team of nurses was shocked she was doing so well and continues to impress them.  They call her little rock star.  Every day Daniel and I visit her for usually the whole day and literally just stare at her and talk to her.  We constantly pray with the pastor over her and hold her hand as thats all we can do and are not allowed to hold her.  we talk to her through the hand holes in the isolette and watch her squirm. Thankfully our families have been taking care of our sons so we can be with Faith, but Daniel can only take a week off of work with using vacation time and I was denied disability because I hadnt made enough money in the time period they looked at which has left us  in a huge financial strain.  At the beginning of August our lease is up on our place and we have to make a decision on either to move or to resign a lease for a very expensive amount for 6months which we still cant afford because I can not work right now.  Im an emotional wreck and feel like i was robbed of something I wanted so badly which was carry her to term which i knew might be impossible since both of my boys were premature just not like Faith. On top of that its my sons 6th birthday and my 29th birthday in a few weeks. The drive from citrus heights to the hospital is where we are spending the most money and I wish i could sleep there all night right next to her, which daddy did the first night, but in order for me to keep up the milk supply she desperatley needs I have to take care of myself.  I dont like to ask for help, but we are left with no choice except to borrow money and put off paying some bills.  We just want people to know our story more than anything, but if possible help us through a very tough an trying time.  Any sort of donation helps and we are incredibly appreciative for any amount.  Thank you for reading our story and please pray for our daughter Faith who is still fighting and getting stronger everyday. Faith is a tiny miracle from heaven. Please pass on her story. Thank you.
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Update 31
Posted by Lizzie Smith
28 months ago
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Ive needed to do an update but have been procrastinating. Its been a rough Summer. With rsv leading to the 911 call and hospital stay in may and double ear infections previous to rsv i was just hoping that was the end. In August faiths physical therapist noticed her left ankle was leaning inwards (known as pronation). Her right isnt as bad. faiths balance and stability are terrible causing her to fall constantly. With all these close call falls we have had her therapist recommended dafos (dyanmic ankle foot orthotics) a brace that would go up her leg and under her foot to help keep ankles straight and hopefully correct it so that she will be able to walk and run without constantly falling.  She was casted and fitted for her orthotics and if you know me you know just how excited i was to see if they were going to help her (the pronation also makes her easily tired from walking)  her dr signed a prescription and her therapist wrote a letter specifically stating what was going on and she was DENIED!!! I dont even know what to think right now. Ive been so depressed but i have to figure out a way to get them for her. I dont get to give up.  The clinic who fitted her said we could pay out of pocket but they are near 1200$$ out of pocket! If i could hand over 1200 $ immediately i would in a heartbeat but thats not possible. Along with that her pediatrician never put in her ent referral we asked for 4months ago and faith ended up with 2 more ear infections and both ears ruptured for the 4th time in 9mo! When her pulmonary dr emailed her pediatrician explaining that her chronic lung disease is aggravated  by these ear ruptures the dr said she would put in the referral asap. A few days later are when her ears ruptured (which is extremely painful) took her into her pediatrician but saw the nurse practitioner  (luckily) who said the referral was STILL not in the system. After this last ear rupture her hearing has definitely been even more affected and she desperately needs tubes before the cold season. But guess what her referral was DENIED!  Im just baffled how a child who overcame every odd and has struggled since day 1 with a super long list of health issues could be denied for things that will make her life so much better! Then we found out her tonsils were at a 3+ and the highest they could be for swollen measure was a 4. Tubes could fix this drastically and this could be why shes become such a picky eater and why she still has sleep apnea..she needs tubes and needs her adenoids taken out. At her developmental appt they noticed she was very weak in her lower half of body and couldn't hold herself up to do things midline (in front of her) while standing unless she was leaning. She even wobbles and falls just standing there.   Fortunately her insurance for medically needy children will most likely ok her ent referral but its a waiting process. I have thoughts of storming into the e.r. with her and demanding she get the tubes now. I wish that worked But for now we know her hearing is affected and its like shes underwater which is responsible for her speech delay as well. So the more i speak next to her ears the more she responds. It was also noticed both eyes have strabismus and her left side is weaker than her right . So now we have to see what the pediatric otphalmologist says when we xan get in. So her physical therapy was increased from 2 to 4times a month, feeding therapy was added as once a montj and so was occupational therapy 2 times a month along with speech two to 4 times month although if she had tubes that might be the solution seeing as how she left the nicu with normal hearing! As for the dafos we arent sure if she will get them if we dont pay out of pocket. Her therapist and pulmonary nurse practitioner and pediatric n.p. are all working on whatever options we can find but the most frustrating part is we have to wait and i cant help but think like how much can it be corrected if appealing the denial does take a year. is it going to worsen? The orthopedic clinic said if she doesnt get them in a few weeks because shes an ever changing toddler she will need to be recasted!! Some days after falling so often she will just stop put her head on the floor and cry for a minute or stop and just lay down because idk if shes in pain or the work it takes to walk is just too much. There may be an option of  surgery on her left ankle if its decided its too bad but im waiting on the medical directors decision from the development clinic that her evaluator talked with about the whole thing. And without the tubes and adenoids taken out she may never get off sleep time oxygen because her tonsils are obstructing her breathing which is probably why she still has sleep apnea. Im so tired of having to fight for her to get the help she needs. Seriously all a parent really wants is to not have to see their kid struggle and people drive me nuts when they say "oh but at least she looks healthy now...or " lets put in some perspective" why? Shes been through more in her life in 2 years than most of you will never have go through. I dont think it should be that difficult to help a child who meets the necessary requirements for extra help to be able to walk should have to fight for it! Its such a catch 22 because i barely work because she cant be in child care due to her chronic lung disease but that means not being able to pay for some things as well. Feeling so angry about the whole thing. Im not going to back down until she gets everything she deserves.
2nd to last appt for our 9 appts in September! Still smiling!
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Update 30
Posted by Lizzie Smith
30 months ago
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I'd like to take a moment to remind you all that have read about faith that she is about to be 2years old! Her bday party will be Saturday. Feel free to message me if you would like to join us. Lizzie_smith19@hotmail.com If you don't know why 2 is such an exciting event for her, take a moment and read her birth story. The child that wasn't even alive before her birth, that wasn't even supposed to make it 2hrs, the child with less than 1 percent chance of surviving and every odd stacked against her has come so far and I couldn't be prouder to be her mommy. She loves her brothers and is always attempting to get into their stuff. Has many words but her favorites are Nana, mama, mine, Bubba (brother), Dada, no no, nigh nigh (her blanky) and lots of gibberish lol she's a whopping 22lbs and 31 to 33in (somewhere in between) she loves trying to scare me by attempting to do things like stand at the very edge of the pool and laughing but she is such a sweetheart at the same time. She will just run up and hug my leg for no reason and when she hugs your neck it's the most fantastic little arm squeeze you could ever feel. She knows what a "dirty look" is and if you tell her not to give you one she will squint her eyes and stare you down lol! She's so in love with dogs and bears she wants every stuffed animal in the world! We love to go on walks together and she gets to walk the dog who loves her regardless of her constant tormenting him. She can pull up her own pants and put on her shirt over her head but is just obsessed with putting shoes on and spends alot of her day attempting to get into the shoe rack at home lol she's definitely a girly girl and spends way too much time shopping with mom because at home you can find her pushing her baby in a stroller with several purses on her arm and maybe a crown or hat on her head. Most kids dread clothes shopping with mom but not my toddler! She loves it! She has been walking for 3 or 4months now and is still a little unstable so physical therapy has been working hard with her and she will be getting smo braces for her ankles soon because her left ankle is turning in and looking weak causing her to constantly fall and lose her balance. She always has scrapes and bruises because she walks like a drunken sailor as we call it. But trust me that doesn't stop her from doing anything and just loves the park climbing anything! We will be seeing audiology soon to determine if she has a middle ear problem and will see her eye specialist to see if her left eye is growing weaker. We also had a speech evaluation that determined she was in the 15mo range with speech as a 18mo old adjusted and right on track for receptive language at 22mo which was her chronological age!! Just amazing! All in all she's developing almost like a typical 2year old and I could not enjoy it more! Some days I'm just so heartbroken that she has to grow up and I can't stop hugging and kissing her. We were hoping to start going to the learning center I substitute at but after the scare with rsv and having to call 911 I can not bring myself to let her go. This means our family will still suffer a little financially and my heart is torn between being at work because I love my work but my babies health has to be first. Look out for her on my fb page soon as she will be advocating the beads of courage program on their fb page on July 20th her bday!! I love that she has so many supportive people behind her and I know many people follow her on here so I make sure to keep updating and I hope you will keep sharing! Feel free to message me to wish her a happy bday and thanks for taking the time to read! Don't forget to keep her in your prayers! Happy birthday faith!! The big 2!
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Update 29
Posted by Lizzie Smith
32 months ago
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Nothing is scarier than not being able to help your baby when they are struggling with something especially when it's a life threatening situation. Sunday faith started out with a small cough and since she has chronic lung disease issues thought oh no this can't be good but I had no idea how bad it was going to turn out to be. By Monday she was struggling more and kind of out of it. I wanted to get her into her pulmonary dr but because it was a holiday in couldn't so I knew firth thing in the morning on Tuesday I had to get her in. Through the night she cried randomly off and on and coughed all night. I accidentally fell asleep for 3 hours and when I woke up she was purple and white. I jumped out of bed so pissed off at myself for falling asleep and not knowing she was struggling this much. I tried to wake her and all she did was moan and whine eyes completely shut. As fast as I could I got her nebulizer treatment ready and started that while I hooked her pulse ox monitor up to her only to see it flashing red saying she was only at 81% oxygen rate. I was alone with all 3 kids and dad was at work. I called 911 and started yelling for my older sons to get up and help because I needed to get her downstairs with her treatment and get her oxygen tank going. They both jumped out of bed and ran to help me. One carried her down while I changed out of my pj's as fast as I could and the other held her mask. The ambulance and paramedics were there in what seemed like 2min. So fast I didn't even have time to get her oxygen tank together. They took one look at her and said we need to go now. A firemen stayed behind with the boys so I could go with her. She didn't change much on the trip to the children's hospital. She has serious retraction (where she breathes so hard the belly caves under the ribs at each breath) and nostrils were flaring as if she had just ran a marathon. Lights sirens and everything got us out of traffic and in the hospital quickly to a whole team waiting for her. The Dr shouted out to the staff "guys our respiratory distress is here let's go" my heart about fell out my butt because I hadn't heard those words uttered about her in so long and you hear them so often in the nicu (faith was born at 23weeks gestation 1lb 3oz. Her birth story is the first story in this page) 140 days in the nicu and I heard respiratory distress so many times being mentioned by drs or nurse or respiratory therapists and it brought me back to flashes of her being bagged over and over again many different times. They started doing treatments and put oxygen on her but she had had so many treatments trying to get her stable that her heart rate was in the 200s. They did an xray and said her lungs don't look good. They thought pneumonia but in my head I was thinking this seems more like rsv (she had it last year one month after leaving the nicu) after a nose swab it was determined to be rsv and I knew we were not going to be going home anytime soon. Rsv is hard enough on kids without chronic illness but couple it with a baby who has bad lung issues it really takes a toll. This is day 3 in the hospital and she's only slightly improved. She doesn't have a whole lot of energy and her retraction are still very visible with a lot of crackle and wheezing in her lungs. Being awake makes her lose energy so quickly that she's pretty much sleeping all day. With rsv there is nothing that can get rid of it. Just plenty of fluids and breathing treatments and rest and hope for the best. She started out on 3liters of oxygen and so far we have weaned her down to 1 and 1/4. But last night she had 24 apnea episodes and her heart rate stayed very low for a long time without self recovery. We already know she has apnea because she failed her sleep study to come off night oxygen in November. What scared me was seeing her not self recover and continually set off the alarm to the nurses station for 3hrs with a low respiratory rate. I stayed up just staring at her monitor and praying this didn't mean infection too. She also had an ear infection when we came into the er. Last month she got hand foot mouth a ruptured ear drum and a cold. It's hard to see her not being able to enjoy her daily routine. We already have done two previous lengthy hospital stays and now with this rsv hitting her so hard we know she will be on 24/7 oxygen support again for awhile maybe even up to her second birthday in July. I was trying so hard to get hours in at work so she could have a birthday party this year. But with her being on oxygen 24/7 I won't be able to work for awhile. What I'd like to raise is just what I will miss out on while I can't work for the rest of the month . She's such an animal lover especially dogs that I wanted to do something fun for her involving animals or just dogs. She deserves it. She has spent so much time in and out of the hospital (this is like our 6th hospital visit since last year's rsv 3week stay in icu) I'm missing out on my older boys last days of school and I couldn't wait to take faith camping and to the splash pads. Couldn't wait for her to start her first summer as a "normal" toddler. Breaks my heart to see her poked and woken up from her sleep with meds or Iv pump constantly beeping. This is most likely going to be a yearly thing for her. Her pulmonary dr believes she will most likely be hospitalized at least once a year until her lungs grow bigger and stronger. I wish I could keep her in a bubble. I can hear her struggling to breath from 10ft away. Please keep her in your prayers and share her story. Thank you to all who have been supportive and know how hard this is.
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Update 28
Posted by Lizzie Smith
35 months ago
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I just wanted to say how grateful i am for the love, support and prayers that people have shared with us. if it wasnt for all of the help i would never have been able to spend everyday with faith during those 140days in the nicu and 3weeks in the picu. It was such a blessing when faith was just clinging to life. But nothing can prepare you for the financial hardship having a child with special needs places on you and how emotionally it just breaks you down when all you want to do is provide the very best for your child. Faith cant be in the care of anyone else except me and her dad because she requires special therapy and oxygen supplement. Recently our car (a 2009) broke down and we found out it will cost thousands to fix it. Something we can not afford even though dad works full time and more. I work whenever he isnt but only make minimum wage and everytime i work i run the risk of bringing home a sickness from another child and passing it onto faith. The hardest part is It has been extremely difficult getting faith to her doctor appts which sometimes we have multiples in a week, without a car. Somedays i walk 11mi, 6mi, 3mi, etc to get her to her appts and get my kids to school and we have to take the bus. With faiths chronic lung disease she is not supposed to be in public groups or out in the cold but i am left with no choice as my older children go to school about 9mi from home. I feel so terrible as a mother because faith has consistently been sick which means constant breathing treatments and a few different medications. But sometimes those medications are not strong enough . Just a cold for her turns into pneumonia because she has very little of an immune system and her lungs are very scarred. I was told that she has until 4years old to grow new lung tissue and after that the affects of her being sick constantly will affect the rest of her life. There are no words to describe how much it hurts to hear my babys lungs making a crackly sound and watching her struggle to breath then fighting her to wear her oxygen because she can not get the oxygen she needs when breathing on her own. I am trying my very best to do everything to keep her healthy but there are days i have to walk in the rain (she is always completely covered) and the cold and as a mother it breaks my heart. I cry alot but must keep going for her. To top it all off i have severe pain in my shoulder and will have impending xrays and an mri before i most likely will have to have orthopedic surgery sometime soon which means no use of my right arm and i will not be able to lift the stroller, the baby, the diaper bag and sometimes the oxygen tank onto the bus. I also still deal with alot of ptsd issues relating to her intensely horrifying birth. Im so scared of whats to come in the next weeks and months. But im more scared faith will end up in the pediatric ICU back on the ventilator because she has not been well for the last two months. She also has obstructive apnea causing her to have low oxygen levels while she sleeps and all these sicknesses do not help. Her physical therapist and i think that along with her diagnosis of global weakness(meaning her body is weaker than it should be at her age) that this may be why she is not walking yet because she is working too hard to breath and gets worn out easily. She failed her sleep study with 27apnic events in 7hrs and has been waking up screaming in her sleep at least once an hour. We have also noticed her left eye is wandering and she is mainly using her right eye to focus which it may require another surgery to correct and she may be losing sight in that eye if its getting weaker.
I am not asking for sympathy or to feel sorry for me, i am asking for prayers for our situation and to help support our efforts to get back our car or get a decent used one and to have sympathy for my baby girl. We had planned on using my tax return but because I spent most my days at home taking care of faith last year and at so many dr appts i am getting very little back unexpectedly and we are in a desperate position. All the financial issues cause us to not be eligible to get a car loan therefore we needed a large down payment or a few thousand to get a decent used one. If you have never read her birth story please read the first post ever and you will understand what she is dealing with. We are always very appreciative for any support and are really praying that you share this and if you can donate any little bit helps. i have to put my pride aside and reach out because I have tried everything else and i really don't know what to do anymore. Thank you for taking the time to read this and share it. Love to all ❤️
This how her sleep time is spent when she is sick. Shes so used to it and her body so worn out she doesn't wake up
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Read a Previous Update
Lynda Rush
50 months ago

I am so happy for you and your family. Wishing you all a joyous Christmas.

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Amanda Corvello
50 months ago

Wonderful news! Would you be able to create a gift registry online? I would love to send items that are much needed.

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Joy Stevens
50 months ago

My heart is just thrilled over your latest update! I was just rejoicing over every little bit of it! She's eating so well! I think that touched me a lot as that was my girls main issue so I know how much that can set them back from coming home. I'm just rejoicing! :) I'm so glad for you! I understand about not getting your hopes up for Christmas at home, but maybe not skip it altogether? Sure don't go as much as other years, but try to have Christmas! We had Easter in the NICU and they tried to do some things there for the parents. They gave each of the babies an Easter Egg with some candy, and a little message inside. I still have that Easter egg with the message inside in her keepsake baby box and I will show it to her someday and talk to her about her first Easter and all the nurses who loved her in the NICU. :)

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Tiina Luning
51 months ago

Any new updates? I hope she is doing well. Thinking of you and your very string family!

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Cydel Mallari-DeGuzman
53 months ago

Be strong. My husband and I went through so much too. Our baby Angelo was born at 23 weeks (1lb and 8oz). We finally brought him home after spending 7 months in NICU and another 7 months in PICU for a total of 14 months hospital stay. He is now 18 months old. Everyday my hubby and I took turns to work and be with angelo in the hospital and took care of our other kids. He's finally home and growing and for us that's all that matters :)

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Joy Stevens
54 months ago

Just read through the updates and wanted to comment again... Oh how I want to give you a big hug right now. I remember being in the NICU and watching so many babies go home as I waited for the day my girl could... my experience was nothing like as hard as what you're going through and my heart goes out to you. I'm praying for your little girl! None of this is your fault! I know that everything is so frightening right now and so very overwhelming and you may even feel like you're drowning and just can't see an end, but every day is a victory, and your little girl is strong and fighting and you know what? The biggest thing I learned in the NICU is little ones are much stronger than we think. I remember the panic of machines going off, my girl had some heart problems in the first week and her heart rate would spike so high, even when she was sleeping... the nurses would tell me how I needed to be calm for her, and I started feeling like her heart rate spiking was my fault... in some ways it was as it turned out to be from neonatal graves disease, which cleared up fine, but was only there because I apparently had an undiagnosed thyroid problem. .. but God has a plan, seeing as not discovering my thyroid problem would have let to heart failure in me, and we only found it because she had it. In a way she saved my life. Still I remember those machines going off... I remember how panicked I was when I walked in and everyone was swarming around her because things were going wrong... I remember those conversations of possible heart defects with the doctor and falling apart in the hallway and swearing into my phone when I couldn't get signal to call my parents as I was falling apart. (I never swear) This is not a sprint that you are in, this is a marathon, and its true that most people are not going to understand what you are going through, the pressure, and emotional strain. But I want you to remember something and hold onto it ok? God understands! God is right there with you and He loves that little girl MORE than you do. He's holding you and He's crying with you over every grief, rejoicing with you over ever victory, and was so happy for you when you had your moment to give your little girl a kiss. I can only understand to a small extent what you are going through, but He knows every single part of your heart, and He's there with you walking with you through every moment.

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Jordin Wallis
54 months ago

I will keep Faith in mg prayers. I read your story and nearly broke down as I also have a NICU baby not as young he was born 33 weeks old I definitely know how hard it is to have your baby in the NICU and not be able to take your little one home its the hardest thing in the world. I was discharged and had to leave mg little boy hlbehind I visit every day but its not the same as having them home. I will keep your little girl in my prayers and hope to see her continue to prove everyone how wrong they ever were about her. Hugs from another mother.

+ Read More
Amanda Corvello
54 months ago

I am praying that Faith does not have to have surgery. She is held in her Heavenly Father's hands and he loves and cares for her. I'm also praying for your peace, I know how hard having a child in a medical crisis can be and I wouldn't wish it for anyone. I will keep sharing and supporting!

+ Read More
Tami Christner
54 months ago

I will keep Faith in my prayers. She sound like a strong fighter like my Step daughter. My step daughter was born at 24 week she weighed a little over 1 pound and was 12 inches long. The dr.s were not going to do anything for her if she didn't come out fighting. She came out screaming. She is now 14 years old.

+ Read More
Lynda Rush
54 months ago

Keeping you all in my daily prayers.

+ Read More
Stephanie Davenport
54 months ago

I have the type of blood used for babies only. Is there An account for her through blood source so people can donate directly to her? I have done it before but not sure who can set that up.

+ Read More
Joy Stevens
54 months ago

My heart completely goes out to you! July 20th is my birthday and I was born 7 weeks early, my baby was born 5 weeks early, neither nearly as big of a deal, but I want you to know that I'll be remembering this little birthday buddy of mine in my prayers every day. My daughter, for small complications, was in the NICU for 12 weeks, so though she was basically fine I know a bit about the NICU marathon. Remember to take care of yourself, pushing yourself can make you sick and she needs you well, even if that means taking days at home when you feel you need to be there. None of this was your fault. Remember that ok? You got hormones out your ears right now and that makes it harder to remember that its not your fault, but it isn't. Let yourself cry. You did lose something in not getting to carry her longer, and you lost something in that your experiences are going to be different with her. It's strange and unreal to come home after having a child and yet not bringing her home with you... you wonder if she's just your imagination. Grieve for all that you've lost, and it will help you be thankful for what you haven't lost. I'm praying that Faith shocks every doctor expectation and soars.

+ Read More
Tracy Bidwell
54 months ago

Prayers for your precious Faith & your family

+ Read More

$8,635 of $15,000 goal

Raised by 134 people in 54 months
Created July 25, 2014
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GB
$25
Gina Bondi
31 months ago
VG
$30
Victoria Grodz
31 months ago

God bless your little girl, and give her a great health!!

RI
$20
Rachelle Itsumaru
31 months ago

We hope your little angel feels like a million bucks for her birthday! The Itsumarus

AW
$25
Autum Wentworth
32 months ago
$25
Steven Jelenich
32 months ago

Dear baby Faith; may God shine his light upon you and heal you. In the name of the almighty Lord Jesus Christ, Amen. Faith, we love you.

JR
$500
John Reite
32 months ago

I will keep Faith and your family in my prayers!

VJ
$20
Vincent Jenkins
32 months ago
KB
$100
Karen B
35 months ago
TE
$20
Teri Edwards
35 months ago

Prayers for you and your family.

PB
$20
Phyllis Bargas
35 months ago
Lynda Rush
50 months ago

I am so happy for you and your family. Wishing you all a joyous Christmas.

+ Read More
Amanda Corvello
50 months ago

Wonderful news! Would you be able to create a gift registry online? I would love to send items that are much needed.

+ Read More
Joy Stevens
50 months ago

My heart is just thrilled over your latest update! I was just rejoicing over every little bit of it! She's eating so well! I think that touched me a lot as that was my girls main issue so I know how much that can set them back from coming home. I'm just rejoicing! :) I'm so glad for you! I understand about not getting your hopes up for Christmas at home, but maybe not skip it altogether? Sure don't go as much as other years, but try to have Christmas! We had Easter in the NICU and they tried to do some things there for the parents. They gave each of the babies an Easter Egg with some candy, and a little message inside. I still have that Easter egg with the message inside in her keepsake baby box and I will show it to her someday and talk to her about her first Easter and all the nurses who loved her in the NICU. :)

+ Read More
Tiina Luning
51 months ago

Any new updates? I hope she is doing well. Thinking of you and your very string family!

+ Read More
Cydel Mallari-DeGuzman
53 months ago

Be strong. My husband and I went through so much too. Our baby Angelo was born at 23 weeks (1lb and 8oz). We finally brought him home after spending 7 months in NICU and another 7 months in PICU for a total of 14 months hospital stay. He is now 18 months old. Everyday my hubby and I took turns to work and be with angelo in the hospital and took care of our other kids. He's finally home and growing and for us that's all that matters :)

+ Read More
Joy Stevens
54 months ago

Just read through the updates and wanted to comment again... Oh how I want to give you a big hug right now. I remember being in the NICU and watching so many babies go home as I waited for the day my girl could... my experience was nothing like as hard as what you're going through and my heart goes out to you. I'm praying for your little girl! None of this is your fault! I know that everything is so frightening right now and so very overwhelming and you may even feel like you're drowning and just can't see an end, but every day is a victory, and your little girl is strong and fighting and you know what? The biggest thing I learned in the NICU is little ones are much stronger than we think. I remember the panic of machines going off, my girl had some heart problems in the first week and her heart rate would spike so high, even when she was sleeping... the nurses would tell me how I needed to be calm for her, and I started feeling like her heart rate spiking was my fault... in some ways it was as it turned out to be from neonatal graves disease, which cleared up fine, but was only there because I apparently had an undiagnosed thyroid problem. .. but God has a plan, seeing as not discovering my thyroid problem would have let to heart failure in me, and we only found it because she had it. In a way she saved my life. Still I remember those machines going off... I remember how panicked I was when I walked in and everyone was swarming around her because things were going wrong... I remember those conversations of possible heart defects with the doctor and falling apart in the hallway and swearing into my phone when I couldn't get signal to call my parents as I was falling apart. (I never swear) This is not a sprint that you are in, this is a marathon, and its true that most people are not going to understand what you are going through, the pressure, and emotional strain. But I want you to remember something and hold onto it ok? God understands! God is right there with you and He loves that little girl MORE than you do. He's holding you and He's crying with you over every grief, rejoicing with you over ever victory, and was so happy for you when you had your moment to give your little girl a kiss. I can only understand to a small extent what you are going through, but He knows every single part of your heart, and He's there with you walking with you through every moment.

+ Read More
Jordin Wallis
54 months ago

I will keep Faith in mg prayers. I read your story and nearly broke down as I also have a NICU baby not as young he was born 33 weeks old I definitely know how hard it is to have your baby in the NICU and not be able to take your little one home its the hardest thing in the world. I was discharged and had to leave mg little boy hlbehind I visit every day but its not the same as having them home. I will keep your little girl in my prayers and hope to see her continue to prove everyone how wrong they ever were about her. Hugs from another mother.

+ Read More
Amanda Corvello
54 months ago

I am praying that Faith does not have to have surgery. She is held in her Heavenly Father's hands and he loves and cares for her. I'm also praying for your peace, I know how hard having a child in a medical crisis can be and I wouldn't wish it for anyone. I will keep sharing and supporting!

+ Read More
Tami Christner
54 months ago

I will keep Faith in my prayers. She sound like a strong fighter like my Step daughter. My step daughter was born at 24 week she weighed a little over 1 pound and was 12 inches long. The dr.s were not going to do anything for her if she didn't come out fighting. She came out screaming. She is now 14 years old.

+ Read More
Lynda Rush
54 months ago

Keeping you all in my daily prayers.

+ Read More
Stephanie Davenport
54 months ago

I have the type of blood used for babies only. Is there An account for her through blood source so people can donate directly to her? I have done it before but not sure who can set that up.

+ Read More
Joy Stevens
54 months ago

My heart completely goes out to you! July 20th is my birthday and I was born 7 weeks early, my baby was born 5 weeks early, neither nearly as big of a deal, but I want you to know that I'll be remembering this little birthday buddy of mine in my prayers every day. My daughter, for small complications, was in the NICU for 12 weeks, so though she was basically fine I know a bit about the NICU marathon. Remember to take care of yourself, pushing yourself can make you sick and she needs you well, even if that means taking days at home when you feel you need to be there. None of this was your fault. Remember that ok? You got hormones out your ears right now and that makes it harder to remember that its not your fault, but it isn't. Let yourself cry. You did lose something in not getting to carry her longer, and you lost something in that your experiences are going to be different with her. It's strange and unreal to come home after having a child and yet not bringing her home with you... you wonder if she's just your imagination. Grieve for all that you've lost, and it will help you be thankful for what you haven't lost. I'm praying that Faith shocks every doctor expectation and soars.

+ Read More
Tracy Bidwell
54 months ago

Prayers for your precious Faith & your family

+ Read More
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