Hi everyone our names are Lizzie and Daniel,
we have a unique story that we would like to share in efforts to raise money for our family during a particularly hard time. We have three children, Jordan 9, Caden (almost) 6 and Faith. Faith is our newest addition but isnt able to be at home with us because of her prematurity. This story is about her and how she is a miracle in everyones eyes. In february 2014 we decided we wanted to have one more child and hoped for a girl since we have two boys. In June we saw our little girl on ultrasound and were overwhelmed with excitement. In fact after the ultrasound was done I went into the restroom and secretly jumped up and down with excitement. The first thing Daniel and I did was go pick out a few little outfits for our daughter. That excitment turned into pure fear Thursday morning July 17th at 3am. As Daniel was getting ready for work I woke up and noticed that I was leaking clear fluid. I didnt think too much of it so after Daniel headed to work I calmly called the Dr to see what I should do. Being only 22 weeks along (not due until novemeber 15th) I thought that the Dr would have me go to the ER, but instead the on call Dr told me to go to the family birthing center right away. I woke up our boys around 6am and dragged them out of the house to go stay at grandmas house (Daniels mom and step dad) while I went to the Doctor. As I entered the Doctors office I figured It would be something miniscule and he would send me home,but I was wrong, very wrong. I tested positive for amniotic fluid and when my Doctor checked my water he confirmed I completley ruptured the bag. All I remember after that was yelling and crying in a panic telling my Doctor,"no youre wrong!!!" and started shaking with fear. I could hear other women right on the other side of the curtain laoring through contractions excited to be on their way to having a baby. My Doctor told me he was sorry and theres nothing he could do and he needed to hospitilize me right away to prevent myself from getting an infection. I prayed and prayed and prayed every night. I tried to hold in her for as many days as possible and was prepared to sit in bed for months because I really did not want her to come before 23 weeks, if she came before 23 weeks the doctors would not try save her. On sunday the 20th of July I was having some cramping but tried to ignore it thinking it was just a stomach ache from all the antibiotics. By sunday she was 23 weeks and 2 days and I had been in the hospital for 4 days. Daniel was on his way over with the boys while I was sitting in my bed talking to my mom waiting for him to arrive. I got up to use the restroom and thats when everything went downhill. Before I stood up off the toilet I looked down to see if I had bled anymore since the last time I used the restroom because i had been bleeding alot and had been bleeding almost my whole pregnancy but my doctor told me he wasnt worried about it. I also had told him that I thought i was leaking amniotic fluid two weeks prior to these events and he said no your not,without even checking me. So when i stood up I was completley horrified when I saw that the umbilical cord had partially come out, what they call a prolapsed cord. I screamed for my mom to get the nurse and got back into bed quickly. All of the sudden a rush of doctors came in and started assessing the baby through ultrasound. The Doctor did an ultrasound and found her heartbeat but noticed that she had turned and was now feet first instead of head first. The Doctor did an internal exam and confirmed her feet were already in the birth canal with the cord, but I had not started labor yet. Because my water broke she was just able to start slipping out. By then I was screaming at him and yelling that I just wanted Daniel to be there. I screamed at the top of my lungs, "NO NO NO NO PUT HER BACK!!!" When Daniel showed up i was hysterical and told him that the Doctor said our little girl was gone and there was nothing he could do. Daniel burst into tears and yelled at him saying, "its our choice. You have to do whatever it takes to save her" but the Doctor insisted there was nothing he could do. He also told our family that was in the other room, that she was gone and couldnt be saved. The Doctor left Daniel and I crying in eachothers arms for about an hour and said he would come back when we were ready to induce labor. I remember thinking how awkward it felt laying there with her partially coming out and why wouldnt he just take her out now? I could feel the heartbeat of the umbilical cord so i knew she was still alive, but the doctor told me she would probably die in my arms. He came back another half an hour to hour later and asked if we were ready to induce? Even though I wasnt ready to give birth to a baby I was told had already passed away, I had no choice and Daniel was losing his patience with the Doctor, he actually yelled at the Doctor and said, "Yes! Cant you see shes in pain?! lets just get it over with. Get her out now" the Doctor said he wouldnt be able to get her out until I was fully dialated and induced me. In the hour it took for me to go into labor we were left alone in the room once again to just wait. Daniel kept asking me where are they why werent they at least trying to help her. Daniel and I were crying the whole time trying staring into eachothers eyes and I just ketp apologizing for letting him down and not being able to save his daughter to which he responded ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. we cried trying figure out how to cope with the situation when she comes out and we still hadnt picked a name. Daniel said I should pick the name I liked the most and in that moment I decided I really wanted to name her faith. The nurse came back in a little while later and I asked what we were supposed to do with our daughter after she was born and she told me I would need to make funeral arrangements for her. By then I was in so much pain from the contractions and decided it was best to get an epidural becuase I was already in shock from hearing that my daughter was gone I could not also handle the pain. Finally I was dialated enough to push although i could not feel her come out at all, feet first. I just remember Daniel holding my hand and encouraging me to push. He brushed my hair back from my face constantly and told me to squeeze his hand then kissed me. When she finally came out I buried my head in Daniels arms so I wouldnt have to see her, but Daniel was brave enough to look at her and after a few min of her being born I noticed his face went calm and he stopped crying, but i didnt know why. The doctors were working on Faith, but i didnt think it meant anything about her being alive until I heard the team of doctors announce she had a heart rate of 50. My Doctor got up before he was even done with me, bloody gloves still on and went over to where faith was and stood there with his jaw dropped in awe of the fact she was still breathing. He had left her in the birth canal partially coming out assuming she was dead, not based on little faith herself but based on the statistics he knew. In fact at one point after Faith was born the nurse said to us, "are you sure you want to continue saving her?" and the Doctor quickly snapped back at her and said, "yes!" almost as if he was annoyed she was even asking. Then he said," they already know the long term consequences of saving a baby born this early" My doctor had repeatedly told me since the day my water broke that babies born this early are the kids you see in wheelchairs with tubes coming out of every orphace of their bodies and it would be a huge burden on our family to have a mentally handicapped child. After my nurse and doctor finished with me the doctor left immediatley without even really saying anything. A little while later the nurse came in and said Faith was on life support, but stable enough to transport her to Sutter in Sacramento where the best NICU team was available. This is also where I was already supposed to be, but my doctor said he didnt want to transport me down to that hospital yet because the staff was too busy, even though the NICU team at sutter roseville where I was at, had already told the doctor they wanted me to go downtown to sutter in Sacramento immediately. After a few hours they brought faith into my room to my bedside in an isolette so I could see her before she got transported. I started crying as soon as I saw her and told her I was sorry because I felt like it was all my fault. How could I let this happen to her. My first girl. Daniel decided to go downtown with her and after hugging me and kissing me trying to get me to calm down, left and I was all alone thinking the worst possible scenario,that when he got there she wouldnt be alive anymore. After Faith arrived at the hospital her doctor called me and said he had her and she was stable, but babies this early tend to do well in the very beginning and then go downhill. I told him just do what you have to to save her. just take care of her. The next day I quickly got released from the hospital to go see her. I knew she was still ok because Daniel had sent me a little video of her after she was put in the NICU. Faith was born on July 20th at 1lb 3 oz and 11 inches long. four months ealry. Every day is a milestone for her and everyday i cry for her. Today she weighs 1lb 1oz, but they expect her to lose weight as all newborns do. Her doctor said to us, "every day we go without something major happening, is a good sign nothing will" so far day 5 and she has had no big problems. Shes on the ventilator but not on full support which the doctors thought was just a miracle. They expect her to need to many blood transfusions but hope thats the worst part. The whole team of nurses was shocked she was doing so well and continues to impress them. They call her little rock star. Every day Daniel and I visit her for usually the whole day and literally just stare at her and talk to her. We constantly pray with the pastor over her and hold her hand as thats all we can do and are not allowed to hold her. we talk to her through the hand holes in the isolette and watch her squirm. Thankfully our families have been taking care of our sons so we can be with Faith, but Daniel can only take a week off of work with using vacation time and I was denied disability because I hadnt made enough money in the time period they looked at which has left us in a huge financial strain. At the beginning of August our lease is up on our place and we have to make a decision on either to move or to resign a lease for a very expensive amount for 6months which we still cant afford because I can not work right now. Im an emotional wreck and feel like i was robbed of something I wanted so badly which was carry her to term which i knew might be impossible since both of my boys were premature just not like Faith. On top of that its my sons 6th birthday and my 29th birthday in a few weeks. The drive from citrus heights to the hospital is where we are spending the most money and I wish i could sleep there all night right next to her, which daddy did the first night, but in order for me to keep up the milk supply she desperatley needs I have to take care of myself. I dont like to ask for help, but we are left with no choice except to borrow money and put off paying some bills. We just want people to know our story more than anything, but if possible help us through a very tough an trying time. Any sort of donation helps and we are incredibly appreciative for any amount. Thank you for reading our story and please pray for our daughter Faith who is still fighting and getting stronger everyday. Faith is a tiny miracle from heaven. Please pass on her story. Thank you.
I am not asking for sympathy or to feel sorry for me, i am asking for prayers for our situation and to help support our efforts to get back our car or get a decent used one and to have sympathy for my baby girl. We had planned on using my tax return but because I spent most my days at home taking care of faith last year and at so many dr appts i am getting very little back unexpectedly and we are in a desperate position. All the financial issues cause us to not be eligible to get a car loan therefore we needed a large down payment or a few thousand to get a decent used one. If you have never read her birth story please read the first post ever and you will understand what she is dealing with. We are always very appreciative for any support and are really praying that you share this and if you can donate any little bit helps. i have to put my pride aside and reach out because I have tried everything else and i really don't know what to do anymore. Thank you for taking the time to read this and share it. Love to all ❤️
I am so happy for you and your family. Wishing you all a joyous Christmas.
Wonderful news! Would you be able to create a gift registry online? I would love to send items that are much needed.
My heart is just thrilled over your latest update! I was just rejoicing over every little bit of it! She's eating so well! I think that touched me a lot as that was my girls main issue so I know how much that can set them back from coming home. I'm just rejoicing! :) I'm so glad for you! I understand about not getting your hopes up for Christmas at home, but maybe not skip it altogether? Sure don't go as much as other years, but try to have Christmas! We had Easter in the NICU and they tried to do some things there for the parents. They gave each of the babies an Easter Egg with some candy, and a little message inside. I still have that Easter egg with the message inside in her keepsake baby box and I will show it to her someday and talk to her about her first Easter and all the nurses who loved her in the NICU. :)
Any new updates? I hope she is doing well. Thinking of you and your very string family!
Be strong. My husband and I went through so much too. Our baby Angelo was born at 23 weeks (1lb and 8oz). We finally brought him home after spending 7 months in NICU and another 7 months in PICU for a total of 14 months hospital stay. He is now 18 months old. Everyday my hubby and I took turns to work and be with angelo in the hospital and took care of our other kids. He's finally home and growing and for us that's all that matters :)
Just read through the updates and wanted to comment again... Oh how I want to give you a big hug right now. I remember being in the NICU and watching so many babies go home as I waited for the day my girl could... my experience was nothing like as hard as what you're going through and my heart goes out to you. I'm praying for your little girl! None of this is your fault! I know that everything is so frightening right now and so very overwhelming and you may even feel like you're drowning and just can't see an end, but every day is a victory, and your little girl is strong and fighting and you know what? The biggest thing I learned in the NICU is little ones are much stronger than we think. I remember the panic of machines going off, my girl had some heart problems in the first week and her heart rate would spike so high, even when she was sleeping... the nurses would tell me how I needed to be calm for her, and I started feeling like her heart rate spiking was my fault... in some ways it was as it turned out to be from neonatal graves disease, which cleared up fine, but was only there because I apparently had an undiagnosed thyroid problem. .. but God has a plan, seeing as not discovering my thyroid problem would have let to heart failure in me, and we only found it because she had it. In a way she saved my life. Still I remember those machines going off... I remember how panicked I was when I walked in and everyone was swarming around her because things were going wrong... I remember those conversations of possible heart defects with the doctor and falling apart in the hallway and swearing into my phone when I couldn't get signal to call my parents as I was falling apart. (I never swear) This is not a sprint that you are in, this is a marathon, and its true that most people are not going to understand what you are going through, the pressure, and emotional strain. But I want you to remember something and hold onto it ok? God understands! God is right there with you and He loves that little girl MORE than you do. He's holding you and He's crying with you over every grief, rejoicing with you over ever victory, and was so happy for you when you had your moment to give your little girl a kiss. I can only understand to a small extent what you are going through, but He knows every single part of your heart, and He's there with you walking with you through every moment.
I will keep Faith in mg prayers. I read your story and nearly broke down as I also have a NICU baby not as young he was born 33 weeks old I definitely know how hard it is to have your baby in the NICU and not be able to take your little one home its the hardest thing in the world. I was discharged and had to leave mg little boy hlbehind I visit every day but its not the same as having them home. I will keep your little girl in my prayers and hope to see her continue to prove everyone how wrong they ever were about her. Hugs from another mother.
I am praying that Faith does not have to have surgery. She is held in her Heavenly Father's hands and he loves and cares for her. I'm also praying for your peace, I know how hard having a child in a medical crisis can be and I wouldn't wish it for anyone. I will keep sharing and supporting!
I will keep Faith in my prayers. She sound like a strong fighter like my Step daughter. My step daughter was born at 24 week she weighed a little over 1 pound and was 12 inches long. The dr.s were not going to do anything for her if she didn't come out fighting. She came out screaming. She is now 14 years old.
Keeping you all in my daily prayers.
I have the type of blood used for babies only. Is there An account for her through blood source so people can donate directly to her? I have done it before but not sure who can set that up.
My heart completely goes out to you! July 20th is my birthday and I was born 7 weeks early, my baby was born 5 weeks early, neither nearly as big of a deal, but I want you to know that I'll be remembering this little birthday buddy of mine in my prayers every day. My daughter, for small complications, was in the NICU for 12 weeks, so though she was basically fine I know a bit about the NICU marathon. Remember to take care of yourself, pushing yourself can make you sick and she needs you well, even if that means taking days at home when you feel you need to be there. None of this was your fault. Remember that ok? You got hormones out your ears right now and that makes it harder to remember that its not your fault, but it isn't. Let yourself cry. You did lose something in not getting to carry her longer, and you lost something in that your experiences are going to be different with her. It's strange and unreal to come home after having a child and yet not bringing her home with you... you wonder if she's just your imagination. Grieve for all that you've lost, and it will help you be thankful for what you haven't lost. I'm praying that Faith shocks every doctor expectation and soars.
Prayers for your precious Faith & your family