Thank you for making time to read about the most important human in my life. I know I've included a small novel below; I've been so private in the past that I felt it only fair to paint the picture many have never seen.
Only those who know me well know how excessively I've fought for six long years to find answers, the correct "puzzle pieces," the bigger picture for Zane. What do I mean? This is Zane's story...
Zane has genuinely struggled since Pre-K, not academically, but socially, emotionally, and spiritually. Feeling completely helpless, I've watched as his spirit has been broken, over and over again.
Zane will tell you himself he knows he is different and always has known. I've always seen a sweet, intelligent little boy who loved to use big words; he was just a tad quirky. I loved and accepted him exactly as he was.
Until Zane first made the statement, "Mommy, I can't do anything right, no one likes me and I have no friends. I think the world would be better if I killed myself," I didn't grasp the complexity of his uniqueness. He was only six, how could he feel so lost and alone?
Obviously, as a mother, my heart shattered and I immediately began seeking answers and help. Despite seeing a plethora of pediatricians, psychologists, child psychiatrists, occupational therapists, licensed counselors, and having Zane admitted for 9 days to a mental facility, I was no closer to getting the answers I needed.
We then went as far as having Zane attend nine weeks of 8 hour/day sessions of outpatient therapy. This still didn't help. Different suggestions might help for a week or two but then he'd become more angry, more impulsive, more hateful, and visibly defeated and deflated.
Everyone seemed to have an opinion and everyone seemed to have a diagnosis. These ranged from ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Sensory Integration Disorder, Anxiety, Dysthymia, Mood Disorder, Bipolar, and Schizophrenia. There have been small aspects of each I could see in Zane, but none that covered the full gamut of his behaviors.
Through all of this trial and error, Zane has experienced emotional letdowns: no real friends, inconsistent teachers, in-school suspension, out-of-school suspension, and being kicked out of after-school care. Most unfortunate was the "Come To Jesus" where he and his classmates were asked to write out who they had an issue with, what that person did that bothered them, and how it made them feel when the person did it. 18 of the 19 children's papers were about Zane and his misbehavior (one wasn't, it was Zane's). He sat like a champ and listened to it with tears in his eyes. I wasn't notified of the exercise until my child called me afterwards, absolutely devastated.
I do not tell you this for you to pity Zane, but for you to truly understand his on-going struggles. We have invested tens of thousands of dollars to find answers. With each new attempt for answers, his spirit took a hit when the pieces didn't fit and we saw little improvement.
The good news: A few months ago, when researching potential new therapists for Zane, I stumbled upon a therapeutic camp for children who struggle socially. PALS is a four-day Social Skills Camp.
http://www.kaytrotter.com/pals-kids-group/
I believe God sends individuals into your life exactly when you need. If you follow His direction, these individuals will provide a learning opportunity. I also suspect Zane struggles so intensely with demons because he has a much bigger purpose for the world. The devil knows this and pushes even harder to keep Zane from fulfilling His purpose. I could never have predicted the PALS camp counselor would be the Godsend I've prayed for.
A chance to talk to the PALS camp counselor one-on-one presented itself when I got back to the office early and saw her setting up for the boys' picnic. I asked if she needed help and she accepted, giving us a chance to talk one-on-one. This was probably the most valuable and enlightening five minutes I've had in 312 weeks.
We had a very blunt conversation where she informed me that the cocktail of medications Zane is on isn't working; if it were, he would not be struggling the way he is. She asked if I am open to having Zane tested by a special Child Psychiatrist she refers her patients to. She proceeded to tell me more of "what wasn't working for Zane" based on all she'd seen in PALS camp thus far. Let's just say, it was a very long list of spot-on observations.
Imagine my surprise when she informed me she is one of only two Certified Autism Specialists in the entire state of Texas. In her opinion, Zane's behavior patterns are not ODD, Bipolar, a Mood Disorder, etc. She is confident my child is a high-functioning autistic (formerly known as Aspergers), and all of his "quirks" are right in line with this end of the Autism spectrum.
With the proper diagnosis, correct medications (if needed), and most importantly weekly AutPlay Therapy, Zane will learn the right coping mechanisms to help thrive and learn self-acceptance as well as peer-acceptance. He will be able to appropriately filter his comments and reactions better.
If this Specialist is accurate in her suspicions, the schools will have to help Zane at a much higher level than the Special Education umbrella currently does for him. For instance, they will discipline differently, he should never have been suspended for his misbehavior. If he is Autistic, he has very little control until he learns the coping mechanisms.
How his many teachers, counselors, special ed counselors, school psychologists, diagnosticians, assistant and head principals have never suggested Autism, I may never know.
Most important takeaway: for the first time in a very, very long time, I have hope.
Our first step is for Zane to have an ADOS-2 and an ADIR test, both of which his counselor is certified to do. These two extensive tests will definitively diagnose the exact neurologic disorders Zane has and rule-out all that do not apply. We will find the first correct puzzle piece within two weeks of the exam. Then, the next step is for him to see the specialized Child Psychiatrist to find out, biologically, the best medications for Zane's brain.
Neither of these doctors accept insurance nor are they cheap, nothing quality ever is, right? For the testing and initial appointments plus the first eight weeks of therapy and medication management, the total will be $2,945.00, not a massive amount, I realize this.
The predicament: three months ago, my husband Chris and I put in a contract on our first home together to be closer to our exes and our children. Our new home, currently being built, is nothing massively fancy, it is a three bedroom, two bathroom, one-story home, and it's smaller than the one we rent now.
When I learned I qualified for an amazing discounted rate with the Veteran's Land Board (I'm a Navy Veteran), we decided to go this route and locked in our rate. We have worked diligently to budget the higher closing costs required for this option. Our home was scheduled to be complete around July 15th so we were right on schedule. Low and behold, the builders are ahead of schedule and are projecting our closing on June 26th!
Trust me, if I had any idea my son would have this opportunity presented right now, I would have made other choices and planned differently. I am locked into buying our home with the Texas Land Board and therefore, having the required funds in two weeks.
While I can have Zane tested in a few months, I believe it is imperative for us to test him as soon as possible. Once we know 100% what we are working with, Zane can begin therapy and medication treatment. If we wait to get him tested and into therapy with the Autism Specialist, I'll have to pull him out of school each week for his therapy, after-school slots book up first. As it happens, she has a few afternoon slots opening in two weeks. If we start the process now, we'll have a designated after-school appointment each week and Zane will never miss school to attend weekly therapy.
As difficult as this is to admit, I need help, I cannot do this by myself. Any amount, big or small, will make a difference for a special little boy. He deserves a fair shot in this world.
I want to assure you, every penny raised will go to Zane's testing and treatment, I cannot add any funds to my own bank account or our home mortgage will not go through (VA is strict). Every penny we raise together is for Zane's treatment.
Will you help Zane find his puzzle pieces? He's already spent eleven years searching.
Sincerely with love and appreciation,
Cristin
p.s. See below...
If you are unable to contribute financially to this GoFundMe, here are a few other ways you can help:
1) Donate any items you longer need to our massive garage sale for Zane 6/20 in The Colony from 8 - 12 noon. You can drop items off any evening this week at 6345 Cedar Falls Drive, The Colony TX 75056. If you have any tables we could borrow and use, those would be much appreciated too!
2) Place a Cutco at Home order for "Zane's Puzzle" at
www.ChopWithCristin.com between June 15th and July 15th.
3) Book a Cutco at Home party with me and have 4-6 friends join us. (Check out all the different options at
www.ChopWithCristin.com).
4) Share with friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, anyone you think may be interested in any of the above options.
Thanks again! You ROCK
Only those who know me well know how excessively I've fought for six long years to find answers, the correct "puzzle pieces," the bigger picture for Zane. What do I mean? This is Zane's story...
Zane has genuinely struggled since Pre-K, not academically, but socially, emotionally, and spiritually. Feeling completely helpless, I've watched as his spirit has been broken, over and over again.
Zane will tell you himself he knows he is different and always has known. I've always seen a sweet, intelligent little boy who loved to use big words; he was just a tad quirky. I loved and accepted him exactly as he was.
Until Zane first made the statement, "Mommy, I can't do anything right, no one likes me and I have no friends. I think the world would be better if I killed myself," I didn't grasp the complexity of his uniqueness. He was only six, how could he feel so lost and alone?
Obviously, as a mother, my heart shattered and I immediately began seeking answers and help. Despite seeing a plethora of pediatricians, psychologists, child psychiatrists, occupational therapists, licensed counselors, and having Zane admitted for 9 days to a mental facility, I was no closer to getting the answers I needed.
We then went as far as having Zane attend nine weeks of 8 hour/day sessions of outpatient therapy. This still didn't help. Different suggestions might help for a week or two but then he'd become more angry, more impulsive, more hateful, and visibly defeated and deflated.
Everyone seemed to have an opinion and everyone seemed to have a diagnosis. These ranged from ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Sensory Integration Disorder, Anxiety, Dysthymia, Mood Disorder, Bipolar, and Schizophrenia. There have been small aspects of each I could see in Zane, but none that covered the full gamut of his behaviors.
Through all of this trial and error, Zane has experienced emotional letdowns: no real friends, inconsistent teachers, in-school suspension, out-of-school suspension, and being kicked out of after-school care. Most unfortunate was the "Come To Jesus" where he and his classmates were asked to write out who they had an issue with, what that person did that bothered them, and how it made them feel when the person did it. 18 of the 19 children's papers were about Zane and his misbehavior (one wasn't, it was Zane's). He sat like a champ and listened to it with tears in his eyes. I wasn't notified of the exercise until my child called me afterwards, absolutely devastated.
I do not tell you this for you to pity Zane, but for you to truly understand his on-going struggles. We have invested tens of thousands of dollars to find answers. With each new attempt for answers, his spirit took a hit when the pieces didn't fit and we saw little improvement.
The good news: A few months ago, when researching potential new therapists for Zane, I stumbled upon a therapeutic camp for children who struggle socially. PALS is a four-day Social Skills Camp.
http://www.kaytrotter.com/pals-kids-group/
I believe God sends individuals into your life exactly when you need. If you follow His direction, these individuals will provide a learning opportunity. I also suspect Zane struggles so intensely with demons because he has a much bigger purpose for the world. The devil knows this and pushes even harder to keep Zane from fulfilling His purpose. I could never have predicted the PALS camp counselor would be the Godsend I've prayed for.
A chance to talk to the PALS camp counselor one-on-one presented itself when I got back to the office early and saw her setting up for the boys' picnic. I asked if she needed help and she accepted, giving us a chance to talk one-on-one. This was probably the most valuable and enlightening five minutes I've had in 312 weeks.
We had a very blunt conversation where she informed me that the cocktail of medications Zane is on isn't working; if it were, he would not be struggling the way he is. She asked if I am open to having Zane tested by a special Child Psychiatrist she refers her patients to. She proceeded to tell me more of "what wasn't working for Zane" based on all she'd seen in PALS camp thus far. Let's just say, it was a very long list of spot-on observations.
Imagine my surprise when she informed me she is one of only two Certified Autism Specialists in the entire state of Texas. In her opinion, Zane's behavior patterns are not ODD, Bipolar, a Mood Disorder, etc. She is confident my child is a high-functioning autistic (formerly known as Aspergers), and all of his "quirks" are right in line with this end of the Autism spectrum.
With the proper diagnosis, correct medications (if needed), and most importantly weekly AutPlay Therapy, Zane will learn the right coping mechanisms to help thrive and learn self-acceptance as well as peer-acceptance. He will be able to appropriately filter his comments and reactions better.
If this Specialist is accurate in her suspicions, the schools will have to help Zane at a much higher level than the Special Education umbrella currently does for him. For instance, they will discipline differently, he should never have been suspended for his misbehavior. If he is Autistic, he has very little control until he learns the coping mechanisms.
How his many teachers, counselors, special ed counselors, school psychologists, diagnosticians, assistant and head principals have never suggested Autism, I may never know.
Most important takeaway: for the first time in a very, very long time, I have hope.
Our first step is for Zane to have an ADOS-2 and an ADIR test, both of which his counselor is certified to do. These two extensive tests will definitively diagnose the exact neurologic disorders Zane has and rule-out all that do not apply. We will find the first correct puzzle piece within two weeks of the exam. Then, the next step is for him to see the specialized Child Psychiatrist to find out, biologically, the best medications for Zane's brain.
Neither of these doctors accept insurance nor are they cheap, nothing quality ever is, right? For the testing and initial appointments plus the first eight weeks of therapy and medication management, the total will be $2,945.00, not a massive amount, I realize this.
The predicament: three months ago, my husband Chris and I put in a contract on our first home together to be closer to our exes and our children. Our new home, currently being built, is nothing massively fancy, it is a three bedroom, two bathroom, one-story home, and it's smaller than the one we rent now.
When I learned I qualified for an amazing discounted rate with the Veteran's Land Board (I'm a Navy Veteran), we decided to go this route and locked in our rate. We have worked diligently to budget the higher closing costs required for this option. Our home was scheduled to be complete around July 15th so we were right on schedule. Low and behold, the builders are ahead of schedule and are projecting our closing on June 26th!
Trust me, if I had any idea my son would have this opportunity presented right now, I would have made other choices and planned differently. I am locked into buying our home with the Texas Land Board and therefore, having the required funds in two weeks.
While I can have Zane tested in a few months, I believe it is imperative for us to test him as soon as possible. Once we know 100% what we are working with, Zane can begin therapy and medication treatment. If we wait to get him tested and into therapy with the Autism Specialist, I'll have to pull him out of school each week for his therapy, after-school slots book up first. As it happens, she has a few afternoon slots opening in two weeks. If we start the process now, we'll have a designated after-school appointment each week and Zane will never miss school to attend weekly therapy.
As difficult as this is to admit, I need help, I cannot do this by myself. Any amount, big or small, will make a difference for a special little boy. He deserves a fair shot in this world.
I want to assure you, every penny raised will go to Zane's testing and treatment, I cannot add any funds to my own bank account or our home mortgage will not go through (VA is strict). Every penny we raise together is for Zane's treatment.
Will you help Zane find his puzzle pieces? He's already spent eleven years searching.
Sincerely with love and appreciation,
Cristin
p.s. See below...
If you are unable to contribute financially to this GoFundMe, here are a few other ways you can help:
1) Donate any items you longer need to our massive garage sale for Zane 6/20 in The Colony from 8 - 12 noon. You can drop items off any evening this week at 6345 Cedar Falls Drive, The Colony TX 75056. If you have any tables we could borrow and use, those would be much appreciated too!
2) Place a Cutco at Home order for "Zane's Puzzle" at
www.ChopWithCristin.com between June 15th and July 15th.
3) Book a Cutco at Home party with me and have 4-6 friends join us. (Check out all the different options at
www.ChopWithCristin.com).
4) Share with friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, anyone you think may be interested in any of the above options.
Thanks again! You ROCK