Bring a Dying Child Back to Life

4,500 of our children kill themselves every year and 40% of those children try to take their own lives before the 8th grade. How do we say, "The kids are the future" yet sit back and allow 160,000 of our babies here in America disengage from K -12 education every year, after developing the fear of being defeated at school (Kakorrhaphiophobia)? 77% of our youth will face being bullied at some point before 18. The lack of a solid foundation in a child’s life can turn situations of being bullied into depression, which has the potential of developing in to suicidal tendencies.

 

My Story

My parents called me into the living room after dinner one school night. I was 12 years old, so of course I thought I was in trouble for skipping a chore before heading outside to ride my bicycle; however, immediately, as I entered the room I could feel the energy was very different. My mother sat me down and told me that she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and was only given 6 months to live. My whole life changed in a matter of 30 seconds. She told me, everything was going to be okay and that we would just have to work together and figure it all out. Until this day, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to process mentally. Her strength is what kept me going. Over the course of that school year, things became very tight at home. My father held the responsibility of taking care of us all, including both the household bills and my mother’s medical bills.  I would've never known we were poor because he never complained.  He would always say to me, " You gotta improvise and make the best out of what you have."

During class

I would be be so anxious to leave, because I feared that if I were too late getting home, my mom  would pass away  before I arrived. I was terrified everyday. I had a routine:  get home, thoroughly wash myself, sit next to her and give her anything she asked for, the way she deserved.  One day, after her chemotherapy, she asked for a chocolate chip cookie. I wanted that cookie to be perfect, so I put it in the oven;  however, thirty minutes later, the kitchen was filled with smoke and the house smelled like burned baked goods. She asked me to cut her ceiling fan on to clear the odor from her bedroom. That was the day, she lost her hair. She said, "the fan blew too hard." We laughed and cried in the same breath. 

Although so much was going on at home, nobody at school knew. 

What they did know was that I ended up having to repeat the 8th grade while all of my classmates when on to high school. They knew I clothed myself in garments I had outgrown from the previous 3  years of school. They knew my shoes were ripped up on the first day of class. They knew I couldn't afford to go on field trips or have school lunch and I made bologna sandwiches everyday.  Sadly, they made it a priority to let me know that they knew these things, and others.  I started to tell myself, when the class bell rings, look at the ground and walk as fast as possible to my next class. That way I can skip the bullies before they got to their lockers. I would wish I could just  disappear . Eventually, I started skipping my turn to read in class, purposely misspelling words during class spelling bees. Eventually,  I started not going at all. I had developed Intellect-phobia.  I feared that if I were intelligent, it would cause too much attention and more people would notice how bad off I was.

Mrs. Griffin was my home economics teacher.

She was always harder on me than she was with the other students, and it drove me crazy. I thought that that woman had it out for me. I would be punished  for not talking or engaging with the other students, and sometimes even for getting a C on an assignment that I was fully capable of earning an A on. I had became so tired of standing in the middle of the floor on timeout every home economics class, and I needed to figure out how I was going to stop getting punished. Even though I was still terrified in the hallways, I started to feel a little more relaxed in Mrs. Griffin's class. So, one day, I took a sheet of notebook paper and folded it into 8 rectangles. I cut them all out evenly and wrote my name and phone number on each one.  In my ripped up silver and red Nike Shox, I walked over to the first table in the classroom and  gave 2 of the papers to two girls that were in mid conversation and laughing hysterically amongst each other.

That evening, after school, my phone rang. The two girls called me on a 3 way and as soon as I answered, they began to laugh. They thought I gave them a fake number. We all began to laugh together.  We connected instantly. That week,  we created a music group and performed in the cafeteria everyday. We became  the best pranksters in school.  I rode my first roller coaster with them, went to my first party, We even learned how to drive together. To this very day, those 2 girls are my best friends and we still laugh over the phone like that that very first phone call every time we speak. They made me feel like someone cared about me the way I cared about everyone else.  Thank you Mrs. Griffin!

My mother began to get better

she was back up on her feet, talking, laughing and started taking motorcycle riding lessons. She starting being herself again, this time with more drive and will. She still had no hair and had lost both of her breasts. But she wore a prosthetic bra and head wrap to mask her wounds. She looked me hard in the eyes and said,  "I am different now, and don't you ever mistreat anyone  because they appear different,  You will be mistreating me. Love yourself and spread that love to those who who are in need of it."  I understood.

All amazing creations start from something small.

A common interest, a hand wave, a smile, a hug, etc.; however, being bullied into silence clouds that diamond within us from shining, and if it doesn't shine, no one can see it. How many times does  it take for us to show a child we don't care about them, or their adversities before they start to believe it?  If we want a brighter future then we need to brighten our youth since they are our future.

Thats what Lets Be Friends is all about.

The goal is to reach as many youth as possible by putting them into a free garment that not only looks amazing, but will also be the start of a healthy conversation.  The Let’s Be Friends garment will act as that piece of paper with my name and number on it I distributed when I was 12, that tool that opened my life up to happiness. The tool that will shows our kids how to be who they are while teaching them how to surround themselves with individuals who have a common ground.  How would we feel, knowing that our children walk around with their hearts pounding and eyes locked on to the ground in fear? We spend thousands of dollars every year on entertainment and fast food, but what was your latest contribution to that 10 year old baby girl that wants to grow up and be a creator of a life saving invention, but is too afraid to stay on her path because of bullying?  Without us, she will change herself, do irrational things to fit in and more than likely she will throw her life away. These are children, and they don't know any better. That’s why we have to exercise the ability to teach them.




For every adult size 185Four Lets Be Friends garment sold by 185Four.com , Lets Be Friends will gift a youth facing adversity a free Lets Be Friends garment of their choice. I am only one person and I am a believer that we are all different slices from the same pie. In just the US alone, we have a population of nearly 323 Million people. The goals is only $180,000. Right now, each free Lets Be Friends garment costs around $18 to produce and about $85 to produce the paid adult garments. In the next 6 months, the goal is to connect, produce and distribute 5,000 free Lets Be Friends garments to the youth in  Special Education, Domestic Abuse, Scared Straight programs, Group Homes and others in school programs that work directly and indirectly with our children that need the help and want the love Let Be Friends and 185Four want to share with them. I have dedicated my life to this vision and I am not going to stop.

If you woke up in a bedroom swarming in fire blazing all around you, but had a clear shot to get out of the door, into safety, would you just stand there and burn with the room or would you get out of there? Let’s work to get these babies out of that room, together.

Thank you,

Lets Be Friends.