Help Ayat Fight for Her Freedom!
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This is my story…
You probably have some ideas about what life is like for women in Saudi Arabia, but let me tell you firsthand. Saudi is a country where men are worshipped. Fathers are the guardians of their daughters and husbands are the guardians of their wives. That doesn’t sound so bad, right? The reality is that this means women must obtain their fathers’ and husbands’ approval before they do anything, and I mean anything. Some of you may think I am exaggerating, but I wish that was the case. A woman cannot freely choose to study, work, travel, use her own income earnings, live on her own or make any choices of her own without a man allowing it. A woman in an unbearable situation does not have the legal option to just leave and make her own path.
I am a 28-year-old woman with an Egyptian father and a Saudi mother, with ambitions to live a life of my own choosing. I was raised in Egypt when I was very young, and enjoyed a less restricted life, but then we moved back to my mother’s home country and I had to follow new rules and restrictions. My family was sometimes more accepting or open, so I was able to study education at a women’s university in Riyadh, the capital of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and again with my parents’ permission, I taught schoolchildren for a couple years and later assisted in developing an academic English program for female university professors. I tried to apply for graduate school for years, took entrance tests, saved money and made plans, but every time I received an acceptance letter, my family made excuses why it was impossible. The money I saved from my job was urgently needed for family expenses, the timing was bad, I was needed at home. My plans fell through time after time.
Finally last summer, I received an acceptance letter to a university, I had money saved in the bank, and my family actually gave me permission to come to the UK for a master’s degree. I was allowed to leave Saudi Arabia on my own, find a place to live near the university and start my studies. Graduate school was stressful, of course, and trying to write all my papers in English was a challenge, but everything was going great! I was living my own life! At the beginning, my father regularly checked up on me with video calls and wanted to know where I was and what I was up to. That was expected, parents worry, and I accepted that, as long as I had the chance to feel independent while studying here!
Suddenly the calls became more and more frequent, and my father expected of me to call him whenever I left the house to go to class, left class to go to the supermarket and or anywhere at all! Basically, I needed his approval to do anything outside my flat, even from so far away. When I did answer his calls and gave him every detail of my life, he accused me of lying and hiding things from him. You could tell that he was starting to regret letting me go and losing his power to control my life. Maybe he started to realise I might not like to go back to “hell” as I call Saudi Arabia, having experienced the freedom and independence I am experiencing in the UK. Even though I said nothing about it to my father, I think he sensed that I enjoyed my time here and I wouldn’t go back, not until my degree was over.
Then, one morning he announced to me that he was taking away all the money I had saved. The money I had worked so hard to get, the money that would pay for my degree, my food, my basic needs. As if that was not enough to handle, he also threatened to disown me if I did not come home immediately and added that I would regret it. He prohibited me from having any contact with my brothers and sisters, and forbade them from having any contact with me. In just a day, I lost it all. My family, my money, everything. I am left with only 300 pounds in my bank account in the UK and am desperately seeking a job since I have six more months of fees to pay, as well as food and other basic supplies. At least I was able to pay my rent and tuition fees in advance.
My future is uncertain, but the only thing I’m certain about is not going back to “hell” where I fear, not only for my independence but for my very physical well-being. I am someone who takes pride in working hard, and helping others so it is very hard for me to admit that I am in need, but I am in a very dangerous situation now. I have no one to turn to for help and I need to pay for my fees and cover my living costs for food. If I am able to get more money than just the basics together, I may be able to follow up with an immigration lawyer and learn how I can use my skills and knowledge in a country where I am safe, and where my human rights are respected, and where my health and well-being are not subject to whims of my family members.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and anything you can contribute is very much appreciated. Everything helps.
Additional details can be provided upon request.
You probably have some ideas about what life is like for women in Saudi Arabia, but let me tell you firsthand. Saudi is a country where men are worshipped. Fathers are the guardians of their daughters and husbands are the guardians of their wives. That doesn’t sound so bad, right? The reality is that this means women must obtain their fathers’ and husbands’ approval before they do anything, and I mean anything. Some of you may think I am exaggerating, but I wish that was the case. A woman cannot freely choose to study, work, travel, use her own income earnings, live on her own or make any choices of her own without a man allowing it. A woman in an unbearable situation does not have the legal option to just leave and make her own path.
I am a 28-year-old woman with an Egyptian father and a Saudi mother, with ambitions to live a life of my own choosing. I was raised in Egypt when I was very young, and enjoyed a less restricted life, but then we moved back to my mother’s home country and I had to follow new rules and restrictions. My family was sometimes more accepting or open, so I was able to study education at a women’s university in Riyadh, the capital of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and again with my parents’ permission, I taught schoolchildren for a couple years and later assisted in developing an academic English program for female university professors. I tried to apply for graduate school for years, took entrance tests, saved money and made plans, but every time I received an acceptance letter, my family made excuses why it was impossible. The money I saved from my job was urgently needed for family expenses, the timing was bad, I was needed at home. My plans fell through time after time.
Finally last summer, I received an acceptance letter to a university, I had money saved in the bank, and my family actually gave me permission to come to the UK for a master’s degree. I was allowed to leave Saudi Arabia on my own, find a place to live near the university and start my studies. Graduate school was stressful, of course, and trying to write all my papers in English was a challenge, but everything was going great! I was living my own life! At the beginning, my father regularly checked up on me with video calls and wanted to know where I was and what I was up to. That was expected, parents worry, and I accepted that, as long as I had the chance to feel independent while studying here!
Suddenly the calls became more and more frequent, and my father expected of me to call him whenever I left the house to go to class, left class to go to the supermarket and or anywhere at all! Basically, I needed his approval to do anything outside my flat, even from so far away. When I did answer his calls and gave him every detail of my life, he accused me of lying and hiding things from him. You could tell that he was starting to regret letting me go and losing his power to control my life. Maybe he started to realise I might not like to go back to “hell” as I call Saudi Arabia, having experienced the freedom and independence I am experiencing in the UK. Even though I said nothing about it to my father, I think he sensed that I enjoyed my time here and I wouldn’t go back, not until my degree was over.
Then, one morning he announced to me that he was taking away all the money I had saved. The money I had worked so hard to get, the money that would pay for my degree, my food, my basic needs. As if that was not enough to handle, he also threatened to disown me if I did not come home immediately and added that I would regret it. He prohibited me from having any contact with my brothers and sisters, and forbade them from having any contact with me. In just a day, I lost it all. My family, my money, everything. I am left with only 300 pounds in my bank account in the UK and am desperately seeking a job since I have six more months of fees to pay, as well as food and other basic supplies. At least I was able to pay my rent and tuition fees in advance.
My future is uncertain, but the only thing I’m certain about is not going back to “hell” where I fear, not only for my independence but for my very physical well-being. I am someone who takes pride in working hard, and helping others so it is very hard for me to admit that I am in need, but I am in a very dangerous situation now. I have no one to turn to for help and I need to pay for my fees and cover my living costs for food. If I am able to get more money than just the basics together, I may be able to follow up with an immigration lawyer and learn how I can use my skills and knowledge in a country where I am safe, and where my human rights are respected, and where my health and well-being are not subject to whims of my family members.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and anything you can contribute is very much appreciated. Everything helps.
Additional details can be provided upon request.
Organizer
Ayat Said
Organizer
