Love and Life for Logan
I will forever cherish having been able to be there on this day, for while it was an incredibly difficult and saddening experience to be part of, it was also deeply emotional, fulfilling and so full of love from so many people....it astonishes me still, the number of lives that one little boy has touched and brought together.
With that, I will leave you with Kriszti's testimony of Logan's life and the love they all had for him. Her words were so well spoken and filled with raw emotion that not one person in the church was left untouched or unchanged by them. Patrick held onto her when it seemed she could barely continue on and I know that Logan was right there holding his mama's hand, too. Not a tear was held back when the slideshow that followed recounted Logan's life with his family through beautiful photographs, and finally a joyful video of him just being Logan; dancing his heart out.
"I was blessed with the 3 greatest gifts I could ever receive…their names are Khloe, Logan and Aria. You are each my purpose, my heart, my everything. I’ve always told you that no one loves you more than Mommy, except for God…never forget that, because it’s true. When you were born, all I ever prayed for was for you to grow old in this life, to be healthy, happy, and to believe in God no matter what. I asked God to take me instead of you, that you deserved to grow up, to experience all the joys of life that I have had. He had other plans for you Logan, bigger plans than my own, plans I may never understand, but plans I have to try to trust in.
You were supposed to be celebrating your 5th Birthday next month, we were supposed to go to Disney. You wanted to go fishing, go to a bounce house, get a puppy…we are going to continue to do all of the things that you wanted to do, because I know that’s what you would want. I know I said I would never get another dog after Truffle, but for you I would do anything. I want you to know that we got you your puppy, it’s the boy you wanted, the one you pointed out, and we named him “Blaze" just like you wanted too (from “Blaze and the Monster Machines”). He will always look out for Khloe and Aria, the way that you used to do…and I know you’re still doing from Heaven.
Logan, I love you, more than I can ever put into words. I know you love me too, even when you were unable to say the words anymore, you found ways to show me. Blowing me kisses and putting your arm around me, rubbing my hair, resting your head against mine. Never did I imagine that I would actually lose you, that I would be standing in front of all these people remembering your life at only 4 years old. We only had 7 short weeks since you were diagnosed with DIPG, and not once did you complain, or ask what was wrong. In your short 4 years, and even shorter past 7 weeks, you made a bigger impact than most people make in a lifetime. Because of you, people are praying more, loving more and complaining less. More people have come together to help us, to pray for us, than I ever imagined…people we didn’t even know, from all over the world. Thousands shared our story, have been there for us to lean on, share our sadness and fears, and went out of their way to help us. You are an instrument of God with a purpose, you're an Angel to all of us.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, that’s why I am standing up here today. Writing is not my talent, and I avoid public speaking…but I want everyone to know how amazing you are, how perfect you are, and how much you mean to me, to Dad, to your sisters. You will always be a huge part of me, as I am of you. I will forever miss hearing you laugh, your beautiful smile and perfect teeth, your signature hair. Telling me how much you love me, your good mornings and good nights, the funny stories I would tell you just to make you laugh- about Logan the truck, Khloe the fairy, and Aria the monkey throwing boomerang bananas. How you would pick every last dandelion out of our yard and give them to me while telling me "I love you mom". Telling me and your sisters that we are beautiful out of nowhere, kissing our shoulder or cheek just because.The way you offered to start my shower then write "mom" with a heart next to it in the steam on the glass door. How you would rub my back to comfort me whenever I was upset, telling me "it's okay mom, it will be okay"...I know you're doing that right now.
I no longer fear death, because I know when my time comes your beautiful, smiling face will be the first one I see waiting for me, with open arms, and the big hugs that I miss more than anything. My biggest joy has been in being a Mom, and I couldn’t be more proud to call you my son. I love you beyond the universe, my munchykin, my sweetheart, Logan- forever. "
"He has a morphine IV and is asleep. His breathing is very bad. He shouldn't wake up from this and should end up passing away in his sleep. No telling when. He could be like this for days as long as kept stable. Anyone that wants to say goodbye should do so ASAP pretty much."
We are loving you and praying for you still in these moments while you sleep, sweet Logan. You are loved by so many people. God has His hand in yours and His arms around your mom, dad, and sisters.
As of about 4:30pm today, Kriszti had let me know that Logan has not been well at all. He was having difficulty breathing and was in severe pain, and she did not feel that he has much time left. He was given morphine to ease his discomfort yesterday. Hospice is with them today and Logan was struggling to breath and having severe pain again so they were trying to give him something to ease him and informed Kriszti and Patrick that they felt he may pass once he was made comfortable. I have not heard from my sister since that last message around 4:30....I have no doubt that she is holding and snuggling her sweet, precious son to comfort him right now. So many are praying for Logan's suffering to cease, and for comfort for their entire family, and we thank you all endlessly for your support and prayers.
It's making me cry, even more, seeing how many people my sweet boy Logan has touched. I can't tell you how much it means to us to have so much love, support and most of all prayers during the worst time of our lives. It feels impossible to get through this, my kids are my purpose, my soul, my entire life. Please never stop praying for my sweetheart, and for a cure for this horrible disease that no child, or parent, should ever have to face.
I am just amazed at how quickly this has grown in such a short number of days. I am so thankful for the generosity of everyone to help my sister and her family. It means the world. Thank you for your continued prayers and donations. Thank you thank you thank you. ♥
To my dearest friend Kriszti and her family. I was completely taken aback when I heard this news. Non stop have the prayers been from my family to yours. Logan is such a sweetheart and may we all trust in God to help you and heal him. With all tge Love I send your way....Always
I still think of Logan all the time, I hope the family is doing well. I send all my love to you...
Even though I never met you Logan, I will never forget you. My heart breaks for your amazing and strong family. You are with all the other angels in heaven and am sure watching over your family. I hope you feel the love that everyone has been sending you, I will always pray for you. I am so sorry...not enough words... :( RIP Sweet Logan...
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet Logan. He is such a beautiful boy. I keep looking at pictures of him and he is so vibrant and happy that I just can't believe he's gone. Even though I never met him, I just can't seem to wrap my brain around it. I don't understand how a child can be here one day and not the next. I am happy that he isn't suffering anymore, but I am so sorry that you are just beginning your suffering. I hope he comes to you often to comfort you. Much love to you and your family.
I am in tears for your family. So very sad to lose this beautiful little boy so quickly. I lost my beautiful daughter to breast cancer this past June and it is so hard. She too went very quickly. I pray that you have the faith to make it through this difficult time and know that you will be together again. That is all that keeps me going.
I have been following your family's story and am absolutely heartbroken. I am so very sorry for your loss. These things are impossible to understand. I am sending your family much love and strength. God bless you all..
I am heartbroken to hear about Logan.. I don't know your family personally but I have a lot of friends who do. Logan has touched so many lives and was loved by even those he had never met. I can't imagine the pain everyone must be feeling and I pray that you can somehow find peace and comfort during this time. I will always remember and think of your sweet boy Logan.
I don't know you but heard of your story through a friend who "shared" it on facebook. My heart breaks for you and your family. There is a fantastic foundation called the Brooke Healey Foundation. It was founded by a family from my hometown who also lost their sweet Brooke to DIPG. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to reach out to Stef or Steve. they have made it their life's work to help families diagnosed with this horrific disease as well as to finding a cure. My continued prayers go out to your sweet Logan and your family.
Kriszti and Family, you do not know us but I found out about Logan's diagnosis through a friend, and I have been following Michelle's posts since she began the Go Fund Me account. My entire family is sending you thoughts of comfort and love. I cannot express my emotions through words regarding this tragic event that your family is facing, but I will continue to have you all in my thoughts and prayers.
The picture of you and your son from your most recent update (#14) is one of the most beautiful pictures that I have ever seen. It is so full of love. Your sweet boy loves you so much and it radiates out of this picture! I have been, and will be, praying for Logan.
http://naturalmedicinesummit.com You might find that today's speaker named Johnathon Landsman has a very interesting talk about alternatives for treating cancer. He starts talking about it at the 24:40 minute mark until about the 30:00 minute mark, so it isn't really long. But if this could help little Logan in anyway I would be so happy for sharing. I am sending my love and prayers to all the family and especially little Logan, may God Bless him and give him a miracle.