Ivf dreams turned into a miracle

£390 of £20,000 goal

Raised by 37 people in 20 days
We have both contemplated long and hard before we decide to ask for help as we thought it was cheeky to ask for help from others to help us have a family .

While we’ve had our ups and downs and we’ve made some amazing memories, we’ve also had to endure years of heart ache as there has always been:

One part of our future!
One dream!
One hope!
One wish!
One final piece of this puzzle to fit us together for life!
And one memory we couldn’t make!

And that is to have a baby of our own a little piece of both of us..

I was diagnosed with having both tubal blockage, under active thyroid,
low AMH, group B strep and a bicornuate uterus.

After years of investigation’s it was found that my tubes are fully blocked which will never allow a natural pregnancy to take place I also produce low numbers of eggs so the only option for us to ever stand a chance of being parents was to go down the IVF route..

After a very long hurtful and emotional 14 years of trying to conceive and two ICSI IVF cycles we went on to miscarry twice this was found to be a result of implantation failure due to me having a bicornuate uterus..
I was told my uterus had not formed properly while I was inside my mums womb so when I asked for an image of my womb I was shown what could only be described as a heart shaped uterus.
while this looked like the most perfect way in which to carry a baby I had no idea that what looked so endearing to carry a baby made with so much love inside a love heart would be so far from the truth.

A bicornuate uterus is not the way to carry a baby at all.
It restricts growth for the baby it also restricts blood flow so it causes implantation failure of any embryo that is transferred and if that isn’t bad enough it causes early and late miscarriage..

I am now 36 and my biological clock is ticking hard and loud and as are the greater risks of having a miscarriage (in older ladies).

Our only chance of ever being able to complete our family is to use a surrogate mother as I am unable to ever carry a child of my own..

The things you learn on this infertility journey is how it strips you of any womanhood you had ever processed..

The day I seen those pink lines on my pregnancy tests was the only time I have ever felt like a true woman , the only time I felt my own true worth and the only time I felt like I had purpose.

In that moment when I tested positive my heart stopped and when it began to beat again it was beating for this little life that I had growing inside of me. Never did I ever imagine that I would go on to lose yet another baby not after this cycle had been filled with so much promise.

We had gotten further than we ever had before and also, we had the most beautiful 5-day blastocyst transferred which was meant to increase the chances of a live birth.

I may have only carried you in my tummy for a short while but I will carry for you for a life time in my heart.

We have done this page to help us raise our goal of £20,000 to have a surrogate carry our baby.

We are reaching out to friends family strangers and kind hearted souls that have enough empathy to understand how it feels to yearn for a baby of your own and feel like all hope is lost.

To live a life without being able to have my own baby is a life I do not want to contemplate.

The feelings I endure on a daily basis are:

Pain in my heart
Emptiness in my soul
Longing
Self-doubt
Guilt
Shame
Unworthiness

Yet this is without the physical pain I feel of a dagger being put right through my heart each and every time I hear a pregnancy announcement or see a woman’s baby bump.

To feel like I will never know what joy or unconditional love is well that’s more pain and suffering than anyone person should ever feel in a lifetime.

This is a plea to all you good people out there please help me find the glue to piece together my shattered heart.

Thank you so much ☺️
sending you lots of love and appreciation
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M.E.N Evening News were amazing and have stepped in to help us raise money. Thank you so much!

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/were-appealing-help-pay-surrogacy-15121146
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Hi guys I just want to say a huge thank you for all the donations so far.....This means the world xXx
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£390 of £20,000 goal

Raised by 37 people in 20 days
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