In Honour of Jordan for Emi & baby
Thank you for your love and kindness. I am passing through this difficult time supported by each of your sweet and kind words. They are helping me a lot.
I am sure many of people on the island are wondering what exactly happened. Jordan fell from a cliff by accident. He slipped and fell from a high cliff, landed on the beach rock and fatally injured his neck and back. He was not drunk or using drugs. How and WHY exactly he fell or slide, will never be clear unfortunately.
Only he knows the answer.
Maybe he tried to see down and went too close to the edge and lost balance? Maybe he twisted his ankle near the edge? Maybe he tried to pick something at the edge and a rock rolled under his feet?
It's frustrating not to have an clear answer, but no matter how hard we speculate, we will never get to the real answer.
So let us remember him as we know him.
24 hours before his departure, he was so happy and having fun with everyone at wassailing ceremony. The night before his departure, he was in tears of joy and happiness about having a baby. Almost every night since we found out about the pregnancy, we talked how lucky and happy we are and how Hornby is the perfect place to have our baby.
I was with him for 12 years. 1/3 of his life. All I want you to know is, he was in the happiest and fulfilled state of his life for the last 4 months and was loving the Hornby community so much.
And very unfortunate accident took him away suddenly.
Many of you have offered generous help and support to me and the baby, and I am so glad to know that. Thank you.
Jordan was loved in this community and he is very happy to know that in his resting place. He loved Hornby Island very much. The community, the nature, the way we live, as a whole. I am so sorry this tragedy brought you shock and sadness.
I hope he will be remembered in your heart as a gentle, kind, honest and creative person who always tried to do his best.
Soon he will come back as a little baby girl.
I hope you will see Jordan twinkling inside her. This way, he will live again.
It’s been one year since Jordan passed away. ONE YEAR. I cannot believe it.
Thank you so much for all of your love and support for this past year. I received all of your thoughtful messages, comments, cards and gifts, and I’m sorry if I haven’t replied back to you to express my gratitude. Your kind thoughts and love touched me and helped to go through the hardest time of my life. Thank you.
One year ago, my world shattered from the ground to the sky, and everything surrounding me became like shards that cut deep into me. I didn’t know how I was standing without my ground, but I knew I could not fall, because I was carrying important seed inside of me. I am still standing one year later, without Jordan, and I’m learning how to stand in balance.
Jordan didn’t mean to leave this side of the world this soon. He didn’t want to. The early morning on January 18th last year, he put his cheek on my belly to feel the baby’s movement, and he was crying from happiness. We were so happy. And he loved this world so much. He was a free spirit in the wind and waves. He was beautiful.
I am so honored that I was able to spend 12 long years with him living and working, exploring the forests and the shores, making art and music together and witnessing his creativities blossoming before my eyes.
I miss him so much.
Now I am trying to focus on happy memories and good times with Jordan. I had enough sadness! I believe Sila and I being happy will comfort his spirit… Ever since I started thinking this way, I feel him much closer and his warm love surrounds us. I feel he is watching me start walking again from above.
BIG love to you Jordan. xoxoxo
We often talked how lucky we were to be able to work on art and music. We had good life together. I hope he was feeling blessed. I want him to know I feel blessed that I shared big part of my life with him and keep sharing it with Sila.
I had a dream about Jordan this morning. He said he sent out many letters to his friends about things he wanted to tell them for a long time, and now he's so happy and proud of himself. He gave me a big hug, and then we went out to the forest for mushroom hunting.
Today, Jordan and l have a great news to tell you.
Our daughter Sila Mei was born on May 9th, at St-Joseph's Hospital in Comox BC. A healthy baby girl, weigh 7lbs 5oz (3340g). I cannot be more thankful than I am right now, to Jordan, to our friends and families, and to the people who gave generous support and love to help me go through this difficult time. Every one of you helped to give a life to a new beautiful human being. Sila and I thank you from the bottom of our heart.
The reason it took me a while to write this was because I actually had an epic delivery. After having 30 hours of pre-labour and the active labour, there was not enough progress, so I went to the hospital for epidural treatment (no pain delivery) . All went well but then the contraction pattern was making Sila's heartbeats drop down, so the doctor had to operate C-section, and that went very well. I was able to hear Sila's first voice and held her on my chest. Truly unforgettable moments. I was so happy, so relieved. Then in the recovery room, I started bleeding from the uterus. The doctor and the nurses later told me that they have never tried that many medications at once to stop the bleeding, and nothing worked until applying this internal pressuring method with a balloon and water inside the uterus... I didn't know a person can lose 3 liters of blood and survive.
And now, only a week later, I can stand up and walk, hold and nurse Sila. Our lives were saved by amazing midwives and the great medical team at the hospital. It was a close call... I feel very lucky to be alive.
Although we are still exhausted from the traumatic experience, we are doing better everyday and getting ready to come out to the real world.
We hope to see you out there someday soon.
Lots of love,
Emi & Sila
I just want to acknowledge the tragic passing of Jordan, one long year ago! Emi, thank you for posting your loving message and I am so glad Sila and you have such warm, comforting thoughts of your 12 years With Jordan. Aunt Jacquie and Uncle Barry