Relief Fund

I think the fact that I almost had an emotional break down in the laundry facility at my apartment complex because the money card machine wasn't working made me realize I really need to make one of these and be entirely honest with how ruddy my situaiton is. 

My name is Lainey and I am 24 years old living in Orlando Florida. This entire saga is long and involved but I'll try to summarize the unfortunate events over the past year and a half in as quick and consice of a manner as I possibly can. 

I have lived my entire life in Michigan up until about a year and a half ago when I decided to take a risk and a change and move down to Florida in hopes of broadening my horizons, spreading my wings and working for Disney to start a career. For most of my life I have struggled with schooling and jobs because I have Tourettes Syndrome. It is a neuro-biological disorder and from the outside, I seem pretty neuro-typical and able bodied. But the fact is, I'm not. My tics and symptomes cause so much physical and emotional stress on me and after a while it takes a toll where I dread being in public and I become physically ill due to not being able to do neuro-typical/able bodied schooling or work for prolongued periods. But because not much is known or proven about this disorder (It's not a first priority mostly because those who have it are seemingly 'normal' other than the tics that manifest), science and evidence is not in my favor. I have and CAN do neuro-typical work/schooling, but not to the degree others can. 


So I've come to the crossroads of where I either work less and live in poverty, depressed and sickly with out any hobbies or joy due to lax pay or work myself to the point of breaking just to be able to ensure I get to have SOMETHING in my life I can enjoy (art, cosplay, nerd things.) So this gives you a little bit of a background into why i'm not exactly taking a traditional path in life. The world was not made for people like me and I'm trying to work through it and accept that. And I thought moving to Florida to work for Disney would open up oppertunities for me even though I hadn't been able to attend college. 

I first applied for a position at Disney World because two friends of mine who i'd visit occasionally when I was accompanying my mother on her work trips insisited that it would be great since they're both in realitively the same position I was. At the time I worked at Starbucks and part time at a butcher shop and lived at home. Because of family life, it was becoming increasingly difficult to live at home. I love my family to death but there's a point where moving out is imminent, and in that respect, coming down here has been great. So I applied for the job and let things take their course. I was eventually given a position and because my two friends were losing thier roommate, it was agreed i'd take her place. My move down date was set for the end of July.

In June of 2014, a little under 2 months before I was set to head down, I developed a terrible bladder infection that prompted an urgent care visit when I was out of state for a comic convention. I was diagnosed and given antibiotics and sent on my way. But the infection didn't go away. At least five or six times, I ended up in ER for extreme pain in that time, and I was always dismissed and told they found nothing. Knowing i'd either have to bail out on my two friends and possibly fuck up a great oppertunity at Disney, I toughened up, and chose to uproot my life in Michigan, convinced these health things were probably temporary .

But I was so, completely wrong. The pain continued to get worse and it not only effected my job so drastically at Disney because of attendence issues, but I found even going out and doing anything was miserable because I was always in pain or at the very least, extreme discomfort. And because I was missing work so much, I slowly began my tumble into the debt I'm in now. I had to eat and survive. I couldn't just lay in bed. Around the beginning of September, I couldn't bear it anymore and I set up an appointment with an OBGYN. And finally, I had an answer. On an ultrasound, they found strange anomolies and a couple weeks later, I was prepped and ready for surgery.

I had endometriosis and scaring on my outer bladder and bowel walls. He removed the endometriosis and patched me up. I was out of work for two weeks and I couldn't do my own shopping or really much of anything. But when I started to feel a bit better, I contacted Disney, saying I was ready to get off of medical leave. It took me a MONTH to realize all I had to do was go to health services and give them paperwork. My leaders and anyone else I had called gave me a rediculous run around. None of them seemed to have any idea of what I was supposed to do to go back to work so for a month I was esentially jobless. I had to eat, pay rent and I had commitments. 

But even as the month went by, I continued to have the same discomfort. It wasn't to such a painful degree, but it was still pretty bad. During this time, relations with my roommates changed drastically and my own house ended up being unlivable. But it got to the point around the end of January where I couldn't handle my pain and the issues in my house and I had to make the snap decision to leave.

This was hardly even six months after I'd made my initial move down to Florida. During this time, the house was still a wreck so I opted to live with my boyfriend at the townhouse he shared with our two other friends. They knew I couldn't go back to that but I couldn't stay with them longer than a month. Being alone and my parents being very disengaged through my attempts to reach them (while simultaniously trying to downplay the severity of my situation) unintentionally blew me off. Which was entirely my fault. If I was honest and not so eager to please, maybe this would have turned out differently.

 I had a month to find someplace reasonably priced. And because I had no help, I jumped at the first offer I could, which is my current dwelling. For a 1 bed 1 bath, I am paying over 1000 a month not including laundry which is in an entirely seperate facility (hence the starting paragraph to this). I have a more steady income now and I have found that the continued pain is most likely nerve damage. I will need to get pain shots or opt to have another surgery where the dying nerve/s will be removed. I also have good hope of being able to move out and have a roommate to help with expenses as well as a career change on the horizon. My parents are also more involved and are helping me where they are able.

But the jobs I have are not enough and this apartment complex is too much for me to handle. I'm ashamed I have to open one of these up again...in the past year I opened two others for medical bills but as usual, I have a habbit of downplaying my issues because I don't want other people to feel uncomfortable or obligated to help me, and I close the campaigns after a couple weeks to a month. I feel guilty that I can't offer anything in return because giving gifts and reciprocating to people is very important to me. I hate being indebted. It's not right to me.

But because of all of these things, I am a little over 4000 dollars in credit card debt and now, intrest has kicked in and I'm in danger of going even further into debt. My parents can't help me with this, there's no way. We have a plan for everything else except this nasty debt.

So that's why I'm opening this fund. All of the money will go to my debts so I can break even on my credit lines and then I won't need to worry about intrest. 

My quality of life is awful right now as is, but if these debts are relieved, I will be able to rest more soundly and not pay a couple hundred from my meager paychecks and eat one meal a day or wear dirty clothing in order to save money. I can't live in such a way anymore. I understand so many people have it worse and have no hope of getting out of a situation like this. I at least have my parents and if worst comes to absolute worst, I will move back home and figure something out. 

But I love it down here. I have made it my new life and if at all possible, I want to stay. It's very late as I type this so I'm sure it will be full of mistakes and I do apologize but I needed to do this. If I waited, I would sit in quiet suffering and continue to be miserable. 

Thank you for reading this. I truly, from the bottom of my heart thank you. Even if you cannot donate, please considering signal boosting this and spreading this around. <3

~Lainey