70 year old Woman Domestic Violence
My mom will be 69 years old May 23rd of this year. Seventeen years ago she married a man who promised to love, honor and care for her in sickness and in health til death do they part. My mom kept up her end of arrangement , caring for him through medical issues, supporting and loving him despite being frightened of his excessive physical responses to frustrations; usually reserved for her. Five years ago, he had an affair, bought a house for his mistress and continued to live with my mom in the home they built during their marriage and on land they bought during their marriage. He was caught only when he gave my mom an STD, something she'd never had before.
A few months ago, his physical rages began to get worse, and he actually physically injured her. Previously he'd get in her face, scream at her, call her names, push her, but not actually hurt her. This time he broke her hand. It became obvious the new few months that their marriage was failing. My mom had forgiven him for his previous infidelities and accepted his promise that it would never happen again. Now it was happening again and this time, he demanded she leave "his home" so he could move his mistress in with him. This of course, led to more rages on his part when she didn't immediately leave as ordered too. He'd rage, threaten to hurt or kill her, physically dominate her and hurting her both emotionally and physically. Mom kept trying to make the marriage work. Eventually it became obvious that he wasn't going to stop and she was going to have to leave. The abuse grew worse and worse, the verbal and emotional attacks led to more and more physical attacks. Finally, we made a deal with his son to get her moved to her own place. She applied for senior housing, the housing authority, etc. The deal was she could stay there for a month or six weeks until she found a new place. Knowing she had to go to surgery, we asked for assurances that she wouldn't be locked out of her home. A home she designed and her husband and she built over their 17 years of marriage. A home she loved, but in order to be safe and not be hurt anymore she was giving up.
My mom is in bad health, her back has deteriorated to the point that March 2, 2018 they implanted a permanent medication pump to try and address her chronic and unrelenting pain. After the surgery, she went to stay with my daughter, her granddaughter for three days until her first post surgery checkup. Taking her home that night, we found the gate leading on to the property locked. Calling her step son, we found out that the night after her surgery, her estranged husband had moved his girlfriend into his bedroom and home and locked the gate so mom couldn't get back on the property. No one ever called any of us to say they had done it, we found out when we took her home and found the gate locked. Her estranged husband came to the gate in a huge rage; he was screaming, spittle flying from his mouth; I swear he looked demonic at that point. Mom stayed in the car since she was only three days from major surgery, but he verbally attacked my daughter and told her "its in my name and she's not coming back on my property. Everything is mine because it's in my name". "I don't care where she goes, she's not coming back here" I don't care if she dies...." It was absolutely vicious and his son, who had made the deal with his permission and agreement sat in the car chainsmoking. `
Now my mom is homeless, just out of major surgery and heartbroken that the man she'd loved and given her life too for seventeen years would do this to her. We called the Sherriff, and he said that she was within her rights to go back to the house....but she was legitimately terrified he would kill her. With good reason, I think from his actions and temper. Her recovery is very obviously affected, she's depressed and keeps asking what SHE did wrong. NOTHING...she did everything a wife should do...it just wasn't enough. He DID give her some of her things, but he actually sent over boxes of trash, burned clothes, destroyed furniture and things that had never been used in years as well as some of her clothes and furniture. He sent her a bed she'd had BEFORE they married, but the mattress was urinated on by his son's dog. He sent many of her collectables broken and he's refused to give her my grandmother's hutch (Her mother) despite it being hers long before they married. He also refused to give her back the tablet my daughter and I gave her for her birthday last year. And to add insult to injury, he charged up her account with books and movies on her tablet. Not to mention he kept ALL their cars and is using HER handicapp lisc plate to park.
We need help to fund an attorney to help mom get through this trying time. Someone who will be in her corner, not afraid of her estranged husband and who will represent her fully and with her needs in mind. Arkansas is a equitable property state, so everything they accrued in their marriage, bills and assets, are supposed to be divided equally, no matter whose name they are in. We've been trying to get help through legal aid, but they are so packed they say they can't help her.
So, I'm posting this to beg for financial help to get my mother an attorney to represent her and her needs. She's standing up to him, though terrified enough she asked me to put up outside cameras to watch for him. She's currently living with me, but we REALLY need the funds to hire an attorney.
ANY FUNDS NOT NEEDED FOR THE ATTORNEY OR CASE WILL BE DONATED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ASSISTANCE PROGRAMS ONCE THE DIVORCE IS DONE.
It's hard enough to leave a marriage fleeing from domestic violence...but at nearly 70 years old, sick and recovering from major surgery...can YOU imagine? I can't.
A few months ago, his physical rages began to get worse, and he actually physically injured her. Previously he'd get in her face, scream at her, call her names, push her, but not actually hurt her. This time he broke her hand. It became obvious the new few months that their marriage was failing. My mom had forgiven him for his previous infidelities and accepted his promise that it would never happen again. Now it was happening again and this time, he demanded she leave "his home" so he could move his mistress in with him. This of course, led to more rages on his part when she didn't immediately leave as ordered too. He'd rage, threaten to hurt or kill her, physically dominate her and hurting her both emotionally and physically. Mom kept trying to make the marriage work. Eventually it became obvious that he wasn't going to stop and she was going to have to leave. The abuse grew worse and worse, the verbal and emotional attacks led to more and more physical attacks. Finally, we made a deal with his son to get her moved to her own place. She applied for senior housing, the housing authority, etc. The deal was she could stay there for a month or six weeks until she found a new place. Knowing she had to go to surgery, we asked for assurances that she wouldn't be locked out of her home. A home she designed and her husband and she built over their 17 years of marriage. A home she loved, but in order to be safe and not be hurt anymore she was giving up.
My mom is in bad health, her back has deteriorated to the point that March 2, 2018 they implanted a permanent medication pump to try and address her chronic and unrelenting pain. After the surgery, she went to stay with my daughter, her granddaughter for three days until her first post surgery checkup. Taking her home that night, we found the gate leading on to the property locked. Calling her step son, we found out that the night after her surgery, her estranged husband had moved his girlfriend into his bedroom and home and locked the gate so mom couldn't get back on the property. No one ever called any of us to say they had done it, we found out when we took her home and found the gate locked. Her estranged husband came to the gate in a huge rage; he was screaming, spittle flying from his mouth; I swear he looked demonic at that point. Mom stayed in the car since she was only three days from major surgery, but he verbally attacked my daughter and told her "its in my name and she's not coming back on my property. Everything is mine because it's in my name". "I don't care where she goes, she's not coming back here" I don't care if she dies...." It was absolutely vicious and his son, who had made the deal with his permission and agreement sat in the car chainsmoking. `
Now my mom is homeless, just out of major surgery and heartbroken that the man she'd loved and given her life too for seventeen years would do this to her. We called the Sherriff, and he said that she was within her rights to go back to the house....but she was legitimately terrified he would kill her. With good reason, I think from his actions and temper. Her recovery is very obviously affected, she's depressed and keeps asking what SHE did wrong. NOTHING...she did everything a wife should do...it just wasn't enough. He DID give her some of her things, but he actually sent over boxes of trash, burned clothes, destroyed furniture and things that had never been used in years as well as some of her clothes and furniture. He sent her a bed she'd had BEFORE they married, but the mattress was urinated on by his son's dog. He sent many of her collectables broken and he's refused to give her my grandmother's hutch (Her mother) despite it being hers long before they married. He also refused to give her back the tablet my daughter and I gave her for her birthday last year. And to add insult to injury, he charged up her account with books and movies on her tablet. Not to mention he kept ALL their cars and is using HER handicapp lisc plate to park.
We need help to fund an attorney to help mom get through this trying time. Someone who will be in her corner, not afraid of her estranged husband and who will represent her fully and with her needs in mind. Arkansas is a equitable property state, so everything they accrued in their marriage, bills and assets, are supposed to be divided equally, no matter whose name they are in. We've been trying to get help through legal aid, but they are so packed they say they can't help her.
So, I'm posting this to beg for financial help to get my mother an attorney to represent her and her needs. She's standing up to him, though terrified enough she asked me to put up outside cameras to watch for him. She's currently living with me, but we REALLY need the funds to hire an attorney.
ANY FUNDS NOT NEEDED FOR THE ATTORNEY OR CASE WILL BE DONATED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ASSISTANCE PROGRAMS ONCE THE DIVORCE IS DONE.
It's hard enough to leave a marriage fleeing from domestic violence...but at nearly 70 years old, sick and recovering from major surgery...can YOU imagine? I can't.
Organizer
Marta Towne
Organizer
Harrison, AR