A Cry For Help

Hello. My name is Spc. Derek Sims. I Am Infantryman (11B) currently stationed at Fort Wainwright, Alaska. First off thank you for clicking this campaign and atleast reading my story. I am not accustomed to complaining or asking for help so just even typing this is difficult for me on a personal level but I do not know where else to turn. 

I am currently going through a medical discharge from the army for feet issues (I'll never be able to run again) and a diagnosis of PTSD among various other injuries that have caught up with me over my almost 10 years of service and two combat deployments to Iraq.

Long story short, I had a bone cyst in my right heel and cause my heel to collapse on itself which required an almost career ending surgery which I managed to bounce back from until a rotation to Korea this year caused me to reinjure it again. They couldn't do anything more to my heel so I was recommended for medical discharge.

On top of that my own personal demons stemming from insurmountable stress and hardship over the years as well as my two combat deployments have landed me a ptsd diagnosis. It's no secret my mental health has been deteriorating over the years but I always managed to get past it. Well this too has finally caught up with me. The army has put me in therapy to boot.

I also found out last week I owe the army over 14 grand. 

Last year me and my wife, Caitie, were going through hard times and the subject of divorce was brought up. Initially we tried to work it out which produced no results from her end. So we had agreed to seperate and I would file for the divorce and pay for everything and all she had to do was sign it and we would go our separate ways in life.

Needless to say that still had no happened. Back in January 2017 I had already recieved orders to report to fort wainwright in March. I came home one day while clearing fort hood, Texas to my home In killeen, Texas to find my entire house empty and my jeep gone. Believe me when I tell you this, the only things left in my house were two spoons, a plastic bowl and my black Labrador, shadow along with almost 11 thousand dollars in debt that had to go into a debt consolidation company. 

Shadow is fine. He's with my mom and I intend on reclaiming him when I return home.

To sorta cut to the short version. My wife has taken everything she possibly can from me and I feel the army does not have my best interests at heart. I am getting little to no understanding or help from the organization I invested my life into. I fought, I bled. The army broke me and now is beating me down to my knees. I need to go home.

Since the army is taking all the money back that I refused to pay my wife because of her infidelity and taking everything else I was ordered to pay it all back. First thing i thought of was to get a loan from my bank that ive had since being in the army. Ive already had to sell most things i care about including guns, bows and literally all of my fishing equipment. My credit is so destroyed its gonna take years to come back from. Now the home I own in killeen along with my other car are at risk of being repossessed. I literally have no money. I've become a scavenger of sorts. It's just a very bad time in my life right now and the army and my unit are only making things worse. 

Whenever I do get out of the army my home In Texas is the only home I have. If I lose that I will literally become homeless along with losing my only vehicle too. 

I'm sorry this is so long but I am trying to explain myself the best way possible.

Basicly my ptsd is taking hold of me harder then ever. I break down crying randomly. Fits of rage. Sadness. And everything in between. I can't focus anymore. Here in alaska I am left with nothing and no one. I can fit everything I own into two duffle bags and a backpack.

I guess what I'm trying to say is the only way I can mitigate this happening to me is if I pay the army back as fast as possible while still having money to pay for my car and a divorce lawyer when I get home as she has thrown all divorce papers I sent her in the trash.

I need to get home. I need my dog back. I need to start my life and start working so I can support myself and not be homeless.

There is much more to this story but I'm just trying to explain it as quickly as possible.

It's very hard for me to accept defeat in anything. The army teaches us to never quit. To me physically fit and mentally tough. Well what am I to do when everything beating me down and ruining my life is coming from the people and organization I loved so much?...

Once again I apologize it was so long but thank you for reading.