Haydens Happiness
Donation protected
Hi, my name is Laura cox, I am 29 years old I live in Skelmersdale in Lancashire with my partner Eddie, and our three children Hayden 9, Jake 3, and George 1. We both work part time for Asda As we are not able to work more hours due to the complex needs of our eldest son Hayden.
Hayden has severe autism, he is non verbal ,ADHD, severe complex needs, severe learning difficulties and severe sensory issues, he has 2.1 care at all times and is in a special school called Kingsbury which he loves.
Our aim is to hopefully raise enough money to be able to get us a safer and suitable house to make all our lives a bit more manageable
Hayden is a pro at escaping out of the houses we've had, over garden walls, fences an even out the car, he is very strong very active and very motivated for what he wants. he loves to be chased, and makes everything a game, which makes running off a hard battle for us with having two other small children, he has no road awareness/danger awareness so we have to catch him at all costs!! Doors an cupboards to every room in our house have to be locked or contents go on the floor, which makes Hayden very much restricted and very angry so he breaks the doors off, if He's not getting his own way he will become very frustrated and will lash out, smack his two younger brothers, even try's pushing them down the stairs, smashes things, hits out, kicks, rips wallpaper off, doors off, pulls carpet up, throws iPads, TVs, breaks beds, windows, smears up walls, he also has meltdowns that can last 3 hours at a time and can have 10-15 meltdowns a day and become extremely violent an frustrated at the world, (Look in updates for pictures)
Hayden is always unwell sick or has rashes due to poor hygiene as again he won't get a bath or shower without the feeling of being chased or held down so takes at least 3 adults to bath him,
he won't take any tablets or liquid form medication so we have to hide it to get it into him every day an when he is sick or has a temp he is left with nothing because doctors can't get even suppositories into him with him being so strong.
I'm not sure how much more We can take as a family Without the realisation our gorgeous hayden may have to go into a residential home permanently!!!! We do NOT want this at all and it breaks my heart even saying it out loud.
All we want to do is keep our son safe an stop him from being a danger to himself is that so bad? we would love a house with the right facilities for him for the space that he truely needs, not a palace or anything for our own benefit just a house that's suitable for all Hayden's needs.
I feel extremely sad that our government doesn't care enough for these children, the children that are the most vulnerable in every community and yet they decide to cut a lot of benefits/respite for people needing it most an their families, which just leaves us all at breaking point!!! I really don't think it's fair that because of where we live, we aren't entitled to the same help for the exact same problems, surely we should all deserve the same??? I don't think anyone in Lancashire is getting the help they deserve for their children with complex needs. And this needs to stop!!
So I'm askin anyone for any help or support. We have had to move house five times in six years an every house hasn't been suitable for Hayden's needs e.g. He Runs Onto main roads house to small, the noise complaints, garden too easy to escape, flooded bathroom, flooded kitchen, gets out the windows, going into neighbours houses, wrecking everything in sight which he loves to do.
Hayden also goes to a respite centre 40 miles away in Blackburn where he is having 3.1 care 9.30-5.30 as that's the closest one to us in our county. we have to travel the 40 miles each way which means 4 journeys a day at 160 miles for every time he's in respite as they don't provide transportation which is also costing us a fortune in petrol. And that is meant to be part of our break!!! Hayden loves going to respite and really needs it as he has a lot of sensory issues which is why he needs a lot space, he needs to be occupied 24 hours a day and me an Eddie are exhausted. Hayden never runs out of energy, and we have 2 other small children that are being made to feel second best because there isn't enough time in the day or enough of us to go around. We just can't take much more. Hayden is involved with a lot of different specialists/doctors/ OT/social workers/ camhs etc and I know it's really hard to try an explain in writing, the difficulties we are facing every day. (So I will try adding pics/videos). I'm desperate for any help!! living in Lancashire seems to be the worst place to live for children with disabilities and It's just not fair.We can't earn enough money to buy a house because we are both only allowed to work part time, we can't get a deposit for a house because when we try to save we have to replace things broken(a lot) I feel like Hayden is only getting older and stronger an I need to help him before he's out of control, we are getting nowhere with anything!!! I would love to be able to just keep him safe in a house nearer to family to help us more, a house suitable and big enough for all his needs, it would take such a massive stress of us all. I don't know what other options I have but any advice or options would be so great
Hayden has severe autism, he is non verbal ,ADHD, severe complex needs, severe learning difficulties and severe sensory issues, he has 2.1 care at all times and is in a special school called Kingsbury which he loves.
Our aim is to hopefully raise enough money to be able to get us a safer and suitable house to make all our lives a bit more manageable
Hayden is a pro at escaping out of the houses we've had, over garden walls, fences an even out the car, he is very strong very active and very motivated for what he wants. he loves to be chased, and makes everything a game, which makes running off a hard battle for us with having two other small children, he has no road awareness/danger awareness so we have to catch him at all costs!! Doors an cupboards to every room in our house have to be locked or contents go on the floor, which makes Hayden very much restricted and very angry so he breaks the doors off, if He's not getting his own way he will become very frustrated and will lash out, smack his two younger brothers, even try's pushing them down the stairs, smashes things, hits out, kicks, rips wallpaper off, doors off, pulls carpet up, throws iPads, TVs, breaks beds, windows, smears up walls, he also has meltdowns that can last 3 hours at a time and can have 10-15 meltdowns a day and become extremely violent an frustrated at the world, (Look in updates for pictures)
Hayden is always unwell sick or has rashes due to poor hygiene as again he won't get a bath or shower without the feeling of being chased or held down so takes at least 3 adults to bath him,
he won't take any tablets or liquid form medication so we have to hide it to get it into him every day an when he is sick or has a temp he is left with nothing because doctors can't get even suppositories into him with him being so strong.
I'm not sure how much more We can take as a family Without the realisation our gorgeous hayden may have to go into a residential home permanently!!!! We do NOT want this at all and it breaks my heart even saying it out loud.
All we want to do is keep our son safe an stop him from being a danger to himself is that so bad? we would love a house with the right facilities for him for the space that he truely needs, not a palace or anything for our own benefit just a house that's suitable for all Hayden's needs.
I feel extremely sad that our government doesn't care enough for these children, the children that are the most vulnerable in every community and yet they decide to cut a lot of benefits/respite for people needing it most an their families, which just leaves us all at breaking point!!! I really don't think it's fair that because of where we live, we aren't entitled to the same help for the exact same problems, surely we should all deserve the same??? I don't think anyone in Lancashire is getting the help they deserve for their children with complex needs. And this needs to stop!!
So I'm askin anyone for any help or support. We have had to move house five times in six years an every house hasn't been suitable for Hayden's needs e.g. He Runs Onto main roads house to small, the noise complaints, garden too easy to escape, flooded bathroom, flooded kitchen, gets out the windows, going into neighbours houses, wrecking everything in sight which he loves to do.
Hayden also goes to a respite centre 40 miles away in Blackburn where he is having 3.1 care 9.30-5.30 as that's the closest one to us in our county. we have to travel the 40 miles each way which means 4 journeys a day at 160 miles for every time he's in respite as they don't provide transportation which is also costing us a fortune in petrol. And that is meant to be part of our break!!! Hayden loves going to respite and really needs it as he has a lot of sensory issues which is why he needs a lot space, he needs to be occupied 24 hours a day and me an Eddie are exhausted. Hayden never runs out of energy, and we have 2 other small children that are being made to feel second best because there isn't enough time in the day or enough of us to go around. We just can't take much more. Hayden is involved with a lot of different specialists/doctors/ OT/social workers/ camhs etc and I know it's really hard to try an explain in writing, the difficulties we are facing every day. (So I will try adding pics/videos). I'm desperate for any help!! living in Lancashire seems to be the worst place to live for children with disabilities and It's just not fair.We can't earn enough money to buy a house because we are both only allowed to work part time, we can't get a deposit for a house because when we try to save we have to replace things broken(a lot) I feel like Hayden is only getting older and stronger an I need to help him before he's out of control, we are getting nowhere with anything!!! I would love to be able to just keep him safe in a house nearer to family to help us more, a house suitable and big enough for all his needs, it would take such a massive stress of us all. I don't know what other options I have but any advice or options would be so great
Organizer
Laura Cox
Organizer
