The Perfect Match
Wide awake. My mind is racing and I simply can't sleep. Between that and the awful itching that comes along with kidney failure and dialysis, I'm not going to be falling asleep anytime soon. My husband, on the other hand, is fast asleep right here next to me. He's snoring so softly and rhythmically, even though I am unable to do the same, it's soothing and comforting to listen to.
This man is my everything. We have been together for many many years and boy have we come through some tough times. There have been so many amazing memories we've made and I am looking forward to what the next chapter brings. But we've also come through some very difficult times. Dare I admit that there have been moments when I never thought we would make it this point. But we have and here we are. Through the grace of God we have made it to this milestone. As all marriages go through their seasons, I'm so thankful to God that we both never wanted to throw the towel in at the same time. Through faith, determination, and sheer stubbornness, we loved each other through the rough patches. Thank God that we did too. Not only because of the incredible gift he's giving me, but mainly because I can't imagine my life without him by my side. He's my rock, my protector, my sounding board, my love.
And that brings me to the most important point of this whole thing. God. God and our shared faith in Jesus Christ are the only reasons I'm able to write this post. It wasn't until we were both on the same page in our faith that things in our marriage started to really sync and come together. Applying the lessons of living a Christ based marriage and softening our hearts have been what has kept us on track and allowed us to arrive here today. It's all because of Jesus and we owe Him all of the glory in this whole story.
So I consider myself to be very fortunate and am thankful for the gift of my husband to share in my life, but most importantly, I'm thankful for the gift of salvation and grace that our faith in Christ gives us.
Where do I begin? I'm lying here on the floor in my room doing what is hopefully my last dialysis treatment for a very long time. I find myself overwhelmed with emotions that I've suppressed for a very long time. It seems like I've been on this journey for many years, and in a way I have been since I was diagnosed when I was 22. But the past few years of actual renal failure have been the worst. Depending on a machine to keep you alive is a blessing, don't get me wrong, but it's also one of the hardest things a person has to go through. It's no way to live and you aren't really living you're surviving. A transplant is your only hope to live some semblance of a normal life.
I get my chance at that tomorrow. As so many of you know my husband is donating his kidney to me tomorrow afternoon. Many of you also know that we are doing this the day before our twentieth anniversary. We never went on a honeymoon and we've talked about taking one on this particular anniversary after we renewed our vows this summer. All of those plans were put on the back burner because I got so sick. Simple chores are exhausting and nearly impossible, a vacation was completely out of the question. However, the gift he's giving me is far more valuable than any vow renewal or vacation. He's giving me the gift of my life back.
I'd by lying if I said I wasn't nervous and having second thoughts. Do I want to go through all of this? Do I want HIM to have to go through all of this? I'm terrified of what could go wrong and fearful it won't work. I know God has His plan and I trust in that but it's still so hard to let go of the worry.
So, I humbly ask for your prayers. Prayers for a positive outcome. For pain control. For quick healing. I also would appreciate prayers of peace and comfort for my children as they endure both of their parents undergoing major surgery at the same time. Pray for the doctors and everyone who will be a part of the team. Just pray.
So, that's about it. I may get on here one more time tomorrow morning but I'm not sure what the day will bring.
Thank you all. Much love!
As a living kidney donor and part of an amazing chain, (see link to story below), it's a wonderful gift your husband is giving you. Best of luck to the both of you. I also want to tell others who might be reading this, that giving a kidney is something that you can do too! It is not nearly as traumatic on the body as it was just a few years ago. They now do laparoscopic surgery. All the donors in our chain were 100% recovered in 3 weeks. I had three tiny pinpoint scars from the surgery, (which have now disappeared a year later), and a 3 inch hardly visible scar where they removed the kidney. It looks like a caesarean scar. So, if you have ever thought about being a donor, do it! And you don't have to be a match. If you are not, they put you in the cross match program, (like I was) and that way you get to help two people! https://www.facebook.com/notes/mike-atkinson/a-chain-of-love-or-how-to-save-five-lives/10156341493165623?comment_id=10156341678930623¬if_t=like
I would like to thank each and every one of you that has offered prayers, shared this amazing post and donated money. Cindy is my daughter and I'm so grateful to Scott for doing this for her and my family. Thank you all and many Blessing to you and your loved ones.
The Best Of Luck
I am able to donate some of my TIME if you need me. I am a sahm, and I am willing to come over and help with cooking or cleaning, or running errands. Please, please let me know if I can help.