Last wishes, with some hope.
Hi, my name is Rosalie, in 24 years old and I have a guidance dog named Jamie.
Mijn guidance dog is my saviour, he helps me with my PTSD, as well waking me up while having a nightmare, but that is not why I started a go fund me.
Lets go back in time, I was young and traumatised at the age of 12, I developed anorexia and after hard battles in the hopsital and clinics I won the battle. I was so proud.
Still got issues with my PTSD so Jamie came to help me, and he does, everey day every hour.
He made my life liveable again, I could go to the store, I could be home alone and I was able to go to sleep without being scared having nightmares. it could have been a happy ending.
Sadly my body gave up on me after I recovered from my eating disorder. My stomach and bowels hurt so much so I went to the hospital and after many admissions they found out I had gastroparesis. The medication I was put on to worked for a while but healtwise I went backwards, I was tired all the time, every bite or sip hurted and every movement in my stomach or bowels made me throw up, ever since then I was bed bounded for 20 hours a day. After many admissions in the hospital and the new diagnosis that my nerves were damaged from my stomach to my large intestine, they gave up on me and sent me to the pain relief team.
Ive been at the pain relief team for 1,5 year and nothing seemed to work, Ive tried many medication, alternative treatments, regular treatments but nothing stopped or relieved some pain. After my eating disorder I was now not able to eat properly or the food I wanted to eat due to the gastroparesis and the nerve damage, thats not what I wanted, I fought that battle and I won. but this battle is different. because there is no cure.
Recently my doctors came with one last solution, a ketamin infusion. the date was set and It gave me hope. there were some good results with many patients with nerve pain so It would be the last shot.
A month before I should recieve my ketamin infusion my heart started acting weird, I got attacks were I wasnt consoius and my heartrate went up to almost 200. these attacks lasted for almost an hour each time. we reached out to the doctor because we were worried.
They sent us to a cardiologist who after testing had bad news. I have probably a heartproblem called AVRNT. As soon as I heard that the first question for me was If I was able to still get my ketamin infusion because All I want is less pain. the word no was never as bad as this one. we are running further tests and I might get an operation for my heart.
I was devastated, the day I should recieved my ketamin infusion (16 august 2016) is passed by and the chance of a life, instead of fighting each day is getting smaller.
We are still hoping Im able to get my ketamin infusion after my heartcondition is fixed but there are no quaranties that the ketamin will work. If the ketamin wont work there is no other option
Ive been suffering from continous pain for over 2 years now and the ketamin infusion is my last hope. I will hold on to that.
I knew I had to make an bucketlist, Or I will call it my wish list.
The things I really want to do before its too late.
It is not a long list, but it is very important for me.
- I would love to have a tatoo of Jamie, So he will always be with me.
- Going to the beach with Jamie, He is working so hard and he loves the water, and I love the sea.
- I have never traveled in my life and now Ive met a wonderfull woman who I love deeply and she lives in arizona, so I would like to travel to her with Jamie to see her and her family for once.
- My last wish Is to thank the people who helped me through this rough time and stayed with me, I would like to organise a surprise party for them. In honour of them.
Would you help me to make these memories and special moments I will never forget.
With love, Rosalie
Note:
For everyone who dont have a creditcard I made another account on a different site that allowes you to pay with paypall or Ideal as well