Meeting Our Birthfamily Tour/Story
We have returned from the most epic two year family enhancing adventure. I continue to feel heroically strong, and so blessed by our deepened connection to our extended family through adoption and our donor. I will continue to share updates on my blog: http://mamacandtheboys for those of you who wish to follow all of the benefits that your contribution help to co-create. But for now I feel that the GOFUNDME avenue is ready to close, having made a tremendous difference in all of our lives. I can not begin to imagine how life long a shift it is. Can you?
This will be our last call to action, and our final thank you on this platform. I would so very much love to see the $5,000.00 mark met. With only $200.00 to go, I am ocnfident it will happen. If it does I am committing to sending the last $100.00 in the form of a helpful gift to Sam and Marcel's families. I know exactly what they could both use. With huge love and gratitude, Catherine and family. August 30th, 2017
(The follwing was written July and August 2016) We are about to embark on the biggest journey of our collective loves yet! Sammy is travelling across the country on his own in late August, to spend the better part of a week with his birth family. A few days later Marcel and I will arrive on the same coast to spend time with his donor, and family. We will then all convene in Washington State for a few days before coming home together, on the red eye a day before school starts.
Please join us with your thoughts, prayers, and calls. If you feel so moved to contribute to the cost of airfare, rental car, hotel, food, line ups, and food along the way we would be so grateful. Updates will appear as often as we recieve permission!
Eleven years in the making, Sammy and I are embarking on a journey across the country to Tacoma, Washington next week to meet his birth family (grandparents, mom, two older brother's, older sister and younger cousin) for the first time.
Back story: On Mother's Day this year Sammy told me that until he knows his biological mother he will not be able to ever feel good about this day. He shared his anger and frustration that this had not happened sooner. It was time for me to do everything I could to get us all ready for the trip emotionally and logistically. I promised him that I would make it happen. Several weeks later his firstmom texted back; "Sure, we would love to have you come." While I do not feel able to share more of the story here, Sammy has expressly givem me permission to tell you about this trip, and why I am asking for your help.
While I worked very hard to make it all happen, I am far from there and have come up short for a lsignificant part of the immediate expenses (paying for our tickets, hotel and rental car) and have literally nothing to cover meals or outings with his family.
I am asking for your help to create ease for all of us around our adventure so I can be free to show up fully for him during and after, and then in the late fall to embark on a similar idenity-seeking expedition with Marcel who has been invited to meet his biological siblings in California. All funds raised here will go to making that possble as well. For more about our adoption and donor story, you can read about us here.
We are home and we are doing so so well. Each and every one of us is bringing more to the world than we could have imagined we had to offer because of YOU. The benefits will go on and on, but this GOFUNDME I will close out in a few days. You can always keep tabs with us on the blog. We'd love to see you there. (Here is the link to my latest post: mamacandtheboys.com/2017/08/30/post-successful-reunion-wrap-part-1/ ) Stay in touch and without a doubt understand that without your support we never would have been able to do this.
If we can reach the final $200.00 in the next day or so I will use all of that to send deeply needed items to our birth and donor families. That would be the most fitting way to close out this unprecedented act of love you have all sustained for the last fourteen months. Blessings and love, Catherine and family
An unbelievable view of Mt. Ranier takes up the majority of the picture window.
I'm in a state of parental bliss. My sons are with me, with each other and with themselves in a new ways.
We return to the East Coast in twenty-four hours, and it is so very clear that each of us will leave a treasured part of ourselves behind for those who love us wholly to nurture in our absence.
With deepest gratitude for helping us get to this precious place.
With some unexpected expenses on the journey and a deep desire to do something special for Sam's family who is going through a very private challenging time I would be so deeply grateful for any final contributions yoy are able to consider.
I too have grown in this moment-in discernable and humbling ways. My motherhood feels mighty and mysterious to me. During this reunion tour I have, for one brief and solid moment fully accepted the title of "good" mother.
Marcel in fullest joy left on a adventure with his donor/father, bonus mother, bonus brother and half brother around noon yesterday. (We are collectively auditioning words to describe his relationship to his donor and family. More on that on the blog soon.) They left after an hour plus sweetest visit here in my bff's SF home.
When Marcel picked his 1 year old brother up as they were transitioning out, the brothers radiated a loving knowing that was palpable. That the lads look like twins nine years apart definitely adds to the startling light between them.
What was it like for me to watch him waving goodbye from inside their family car heading off to the Science Academy and then to their home 80 miles south? It was as his bonus mom said; 'invigorating to the soul".
We have been eagerly anticipating this moment for months, and so the ease in which all of were together was no surprise to anyone. I was so happy to give Marcel his time alone-but could just have easily melted right into the ease of this extended family.
So when they called me last night to debrief on their day, I was non stop thrilled for Marcel, for all of them. Marcel could barely keep himself from screeching telling me how awesome his day had been when he was on the phone.
This afternoon his we-don't-yet-have-words-for-father will drive Marcel back to me carefully navigating the battleground map unfolding around the Bay Area as protests and counter protests promise are beseige the city. What a powerful and painful backdrop to our story.
I'll report on Sam's week when I reconnect with him tomorrow. All I really know I've seen on SnapChat, but at least there he looks happy?
We are only $200.00 from goal! We will reach it today-of this I am certain.
Stay safe, love deeply!
His communication style is minimalist to be generous. (Mine is megaAF.) So when almost 24 hours passed with not much more than a "Hey" text, and "I'm fine Mom. I have to go.." call I started to fill in the blanks with crazy making fear based story.
I started to believe what some have asked me; "Do you worry he won't want to come back?" And "Could his family offer for him to stay longer? Like for the school year? Or.." And when my most gruesome gut twisting heart shredding gremlin made it to the mic all I could hear was; "Sammy thinks you WANTED him out.. He's already forgotten you. Ha! Ha! Ha!!" (Insert vile glaring dragon bulging eyes here). It was a very, very long day.
Then last night two miracles happened. First you all circled in tight and reminded me that this moment was courageous and necessary. You reminded me that for all MY feelings there were 10,000 accompanying feelings happening across the country. Sammy was completing the circle.. Everyone was shifting, a family system was reconfiguring itself. Exoansion. Give him time. This is LOVE in action.
Then his mom texted with a question about video games. 'Did I allow him to... "
Within moments (and drenched in tears) I get the text; "teamwork". We navigated together how to hold Sam accountable to both of us, and to himself. #mamasdontplay was our hashtag.
Did I ever hear from Sam? Yes. But for that you'll have to wait because in ten minutes Marcel and I get on the plane.
And his JOY is paloable and requires all of me too.