Second Chance for Success
Donation protected
As a peer recovery specialist, I've taken great pride in standing by myself, having the fortitude to run my own life, and not letting my mental illness keep me from my dreams. However, I've also learned when to swallow my pride and ask for help.
I've been working *so hard* and finally reached a place where I can't stand by myself anymore, and I'm hoping you'll help.
I urgently need money for food, and also to find a place to rent. The car I drove here needs to be checked by a mechanic, and I don't have any spare for my prescription medication either. My emotional support animals are back in Iowa, and I desperately miss them-- with your help I can get them back to me.
This explanation is meant to give a brief run down of what help I need , what my plans are, and whether it's worth your good will as expressed through the investment of money or motivation/information and/or sharing the link. Lots of ways to help, and all are appreciated.
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The past decade has felt like a rollercoaster; even in the quiet times, I couldn't relax because I kept wondering what was coming next. I grew up in Iowa, but rarely felt at home or safe there. I tried to 'escape' but ended up sleeping 20 hours a day, chronically suicidal. Doctors ignored my health problems, convinced they were all part of the obvious depression. As I struggled to be taken seriously enough to be diagnosed with multiple chronic conditions, thigs got worse--effectively, my brain weasels are so strong they chewed through my nervous system.
In 2010, my disability was approved by the SSA, but it's not enough to live on by a long shot. I spent the next three years refusing to leave my parents' house and wondering if this was really the better future I'd been promised.
Despite my pain, I never truly gave up. I advocated for proper treatment of my sleep apnea, my deviated septum, my fibromyalgia, my deconditioned body and my flabby willpower. I put in the time: in therapy, leaving the house, fighting against the phobias and physical pain that had left my world tiny and my outlook shuttered.
After support and medical treatment, I moved out of my family home in 2014. I felt over the moon with excitement. This was *it.* My dogs had a backyard and I even had my own kitchen! I worked for over a year at a half time position in mental health, exploring my interest in Buddhism and practicing my bassoon again. I finally felt like I was living an independent life, happy.
In March of 2015, my domestic partner sexually assaulted me. I reported him to the police, but he stole what little savings I'd managed to scrimp together before they arrested him. The assault made the local news. There were *facebook comments* from people who lived nearby, questioning not just my integrity but my sexuality, my sanity, and my humanity.
I did the best I could to regroup after that, but Iowan winters get my depression going and Midwestern judgmental assholes fuel it. I needed to leave the city that's become nothing but a neighborhood of triggers.
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Long story short, I continued to work SO HARD, and with the help of my girlfriend and a very good friend in the Bay area, as well as my aunt, a long-time friend, and my family cosigning for a car loan---
PLUS driving to California from Iowa by MYSELF--
I'm in California and anticipating gainful employment in the next few weeks.
Now I just need that last little push.
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When I have the resources, I've always invested as much as possible in those around me. My profession and my life are built around my dream of helping people trapped by their own brains, pasts, and distorted thinking-- just as I have been.
My friends, I'd love it if you invested in my dream. Please help me get the last few miles to the home I need right now. Donate to this campaign, reblog or share the statement. Thanks for your support.
I've been working *so hard* and finally reached a place where I can't stand by myself anymore, and I'm hoping you'll help.
I urgently need money for food, and also to find a place to rent. The car I drove here needs to be checked by a mechanic, and I don't have any spare for my prescription medication either. My emotional support animals are back in Iowa, and I desperately miss them-- with your help I can get them back to me.
This explanation is meant to give a brief run down of what help I need , what my plans are, and whether it's worth your good will as expressed through the investment of money or motivation/information and/or sharing the link. Lots of ways to help, and all are appreciated.
-------
The past decade has felt like a rollercoaster; even in the quiet times, I couldn't relax because I kept wondering what was coming next. I grew up in Iowa, but rarely felt at home or safe there. I tried to 'escape' but ended up sleeping 20 hours a day, chronically suicidal. Doctors ignored my health problems, convinced they were all part of the obvious depression. As I struggled to be taken seriously enough to be diagnosed with multiple chronic conditions, thigs got worse--effectively, my brain weasels are so strong they chewed through my nervous system.
In 2010, my disability was approved by the SSA, but it's not enough to live on by a long shot. I spent the next three years refusing to leave my parents' house and wondering if this was really the better future I'd been promised.
Despite my pain, I never truly gave up. I advocated for proper treatment of my sleep apnea, my deviated septum, my fibromyalgia, my deconditioned body and my flabby willpower. I put in the time: in therapy, leaving the house, fighting against the phobias and physical pain that had left my world tiny and my outlook shuttered.
After support and medical treatment, I moved out of my family home in 2014. I felt over the moon with excitement. This was *it.* My dogs had a backyard and I even had my own kitchen! I worked for over a year at a half time position in mental health, exploring my interest in Buddhism and practicing my bassoon again. I finally felt like I was living an independent life, happy.
In March of 2015, my domestic partner sexually assaulted me. I reported him to the police, but he stole what little savings I'd managed to scrimp together before they arrested him. The assault made the local news. There were *facebook comments* from people who lived nearby, questioning not just my integrity but my sexuality, my sanity, and my humanity.
I did the best I could to regroup after that, but Iowan winters get my depression going and Midwestern judgmental assholes fuel it. I needed to leave the city that's become nothing but a neighborhood of triggers.
-----
Long story short, I continued to work SO HARD, and with the help of my girlfriend and a very good friend in the Bay area, as well as my aunt, a long-time friend, and my family cosigning for a car loan---
PLUS driving to California from Iowa by MYSELF--
I'm in California and anticipating gainful employment in the next few weeks.
Now I just need that last little push.
------
When I have the resources, I've always invested as much as possible in those around me. My profession and my life are built around my dream of helping people trapped by their own brains, pasts, and distorted thinking-- just as I have been.
My friends, I'd love it if you invested in my dream. Please help me get the last few miles to the home I need right now. Donate to this campaign, reblog or share the statement. Thanks for your support.
Organizer
Erika Miranda-Bartlett
Organizer
San Francisco, CA
