The quest to get a service dog
Donation protected
My name is Soren, and I suffer from C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). My PTSD is due to years of emotional familial abuse/gaslighting and being assaulted. This has had a huge negative impact on my life. I no longer feel safe enough to get proper sleep, I have dissociative episodes that can last days, and memory gaps. This has crippled me and my life. I am unable to get a job due to the fact that I can barely function. Leaving my house for minute things is already a challenge as it is.
Before extensive therapy, I lived in denial and a dissociative fugue for years. I missed important parts of my life; important people. I had it ingrained in me that my memories weren't real, or that, "I didn't know what I was talking about". I was turned against myself and made to believe I was a problem that needed to be "fixed".
Recently, my daily life has become even more of a challenge. A challenge I don't think I can beat alone. I can handle the clenched jaw that gets so bad I've cracked teeth, and the unreliable sleep that almost always ends in me waking up in a cold sweat, unable to breathe. What I can't handle is my life slipping away from me. I just want to live, but I am getting to the point where there isn't much fight left in me. I don't want to be in combat mode 24/7, and I don't want to flinch from people. I would just like to be able to go to the grocery store and not have my jaw lock, and breathing cut off because someone triggered a flashback by shouting.
I want to get to know myself, and learn to trust myself again. I want to gain my independence back, but I am going to need help. Due to this, I am also postponing something I have been wanting and begging for for a very long time, top surgery. I am postponing something that will help me feel comfortable with myself, and will considerably lower my self loathing because I feel that this is the priority right now. If that doesn't give you an idea of the position I'm in I don't know what will.
A service dog can help alert me to an oncoming panic attack, pull me out of a dissociative episode, provide a barrier in crowds, and overall meet all my needs in order to become active in society. I will most likely be looking into adopting a shelter dog and putting him through training to get certified, since purebreed dogs are too expensive. I also do not want to start with a puppy since I don't have the capability to properlly train/keep up with one. The reason I made this campaign is, because I live at/below the poverty line and service dog programs usually run up to $5,000-$10,000. I am not asking for the full amount to cover everything due to feeling that doing so isn't right. I hate asking for money but I don't know what else to do.
In the end, making memories with the people I love, living, and moving forward won't be possible without a PSD (Psychiatric Service Dog). I normally wouldn't be putting my personal issues out, but I'm desperate. If you can donate anything I would be eternally grateful!
The money covers his adoption, license, and most of his training cost.
Before extensive therapy, I lived in denial and a dissociative fugue for years. I missed important parts of my life; important people. I had it ingrained in me that my memories weren't real, or that, "I didn't know what I was talking about". I was turned against myself and made to believe I was a problem that needed to be "fixed".
Recently, my daily life has become even more of a challenge. A challenge I don't think I can beat alone. I can handle the clenched jaw that gets so bad I've cracked teeth, and the unreliable sleep that almost always ends in me waking up in a cold sweat, unable to breathe. What I can't handle is my life slipping away from me. I just want to live, but I am getting to the point where there isn't much fight left in me. I don't want to be in combat mode 24/7, and I don't want to flinch from people. I would just like to be able to go to the grocery store and not have my jaw lock, and breathing cut off because someone triggered a flashback by shouting.
I want to get to know myself, and learn to trust myself again. I want to gain my independence back, but I am going to need help. Due to this, I am also postponing something I have been wanting and begging for for a very long time, top surgery. I am postponing something that will help me feel comfortable with myself, and will considerably lower my self loathing because I feel that this is the priority right now. If that doesn't give you an idea of the position I'm in I don't know what will.
A service dog can help alert me to an oncoming panic attack, pull me out of a dissociative episode, provide a barrier in crowds, and overall meet all my needs in order to become active in society. I will most likely be looking into adopting a shelter dog and putting him through training to get certified, since purebreed dogs are too expensive. I also do not want to start with a puppy since I don't have the capability to properlly train/keep up with one. The reason I made this campaign is, because I live at/below the poverty line and service dog programs usually run up to $5,000-$10,000. I am not asking for the full amount to cover everything due to feeling that doing so isn't right. I hate asking for money but I don't know what else to do.
In the end, making memories with the people I love, living, and moving forward won't be possible without a PSD (Psychiatric Service Dog). I normally wouldn't be putting my personal issues out, but I'm desperate. If you can donate anything I would be eternally grateful!
The money covers his adoption, license, and most of his training cost.
Organizer and beneficiary
Søren Caluya
Organizer
Citrus Heights, CA
Pixie Ganem
Beneficiary