Barb's Funeral Fund

On March 30th, 2016, the world lost someone amazing.

This is going to be incredibly difficult for me to type out. How can I explain to you how important my mother was? How can I begin to tell you how her silly jokes could make you laugh even on your darkest days? How can I make you understand the love my mother had for everyone, how her heart was bursting with it, how she would give you her last dime, if she thought it would make a difference? How can I even begin to show you, in simple words,  the way my mother touched so many lives? How can I show you all the things that made my mother who she was, from Mickey Mouse to the St. Louis Blues to her love for her grandchildren.

But on March 30th, she wasn't there to make me laugh. The one person who could make me feel better in my darkest hour was gone, and I didn't know how I was supposed to go on. There were so many things that we were still supposed to do together. So many days that should have been spent with her sister, her friends, her loved ones. So many milestones in the lives of me and my sister and her grandchildren, still to come.

Slowly, we are all learning to live our lives without my mother. Every day is a struggle- reminding myself that no one will answer when I call, that my silly texts will go unread. My family is learning to rely on each other more and more, trying to find out footing in life, when our rock is gone. I have my sister, my friends, and family. We are learning who we are without my mother, and it is a slow and very painful procoss. Her absence is a hole in my chest that I am unable to fill, but we are learning to mend the edges, and we will learn to make it through together.

My mother's life was a life of pain. She lived with many chronic illnesses and had been on disablity most of my life. She was constantly in a pain, but could still manage a smile, could still manage to make you life, even when her pain became unbearable.

On March 30th, my mother went into the hospital to have a simple, outpatient procedure. She just needed to have a kidney stone broken up, and then she'd be home. But unfortunately, something wasn't right. We got my mother home around 8:00pm, by 9:00pm we were calling 911, and by 10:00pm, she was gone.

The small room the doctor escorted us to became even smaller with those few words, so seemingly simple, but they managed to punch through my with the force of a tornado, tearing me apart. "I'm sorry," the doctor said. "We did everything we could." And with those words, my whole world fell apart.

My mother did not have any life insurance. We were lucky enough to have amazing friends and family come out to support us at her wake and her funeral. I've been blow away by some of the donotions people have made to help us cover some the costs of the funeral; there is just still so much that needs to be done. We have paid down some of the bill, but we are still short. We have been unable to afford a headstone to mark her grave. The funeral home has been willing to work with us, but there is still such a large bill due, and a headstone is another expense.

I am asking that people please share this. My mother was such an amazing person and this loss has been profound. It would mean so much to me and my family. We would be incredibly greatful for each and every penny we receive. Thank you.