William's Survival Fund For Surgery
My name is William. I am a 41 year old man. At the age of 34, the bottom-most floating rib on my left side collapsed inward from physical strain and formed a little "ledge." This trapped and bunched up my insides (stomach, lung, muscles, etc.), locked up my spine, paralyzed my stomach and digestive system, rendered me severely and chronically ill, and wasted my muscles away until the muscular fibers were so weak, they would tear and become permanently damaged with the slightest aggravation. After years of misdiagnoses, it was just discovered a month ago. By ME.
I live my life in excruciating pain. My arms are now so weak, they cannot hold themselves in the sockets any longer. They are permanently contracted and gimp from injuries. A few days ago, they just sagged right out of the ball joints and are stuck like that. Typing this is incredibly difficult. I do a bit each day. I just had to quit my writing job as the stress on my shoulder muscles from using a keyboard for hours at a time was pulling the muscle apart. I cannot drive, bend, reach, squeeze, push, pull, dress myself, lift anything, take a shower, or open most doors. I wake up each day terrified that I'm still alive. My entire life revolves around trying not to hurt myself again. That's all I do.
I need a place to live, food, nursing care, and to pay my medical insurance so I can last long enough to get into a thoracic surgeon and have this rib fixed so I can rehab and start working again. Without money, I have no way to last until then. I am not physically able to sleep or survive in the woods or a shelter. This is a life or death situation for me, and while I would love to leave the hell of this body, I want to see this last chance through before I give up. I just want to remember what it feels like to be a human being. Even if it's only a little while each day.
I need to move in less than a month and need to last until (and through) surgery. Any help is most welcome. I just want a life that's not 100% about sickness, suffering, and pain. That's all I want. Before I die, I'd like to remember a happy day or two.
Thanks to everyone who's read this far, and if you can't help me, help someone close to you. A ride, some food, a favor, advice, or just your friendship. I am taking money with no means of giving it back. At the least, let my post be the trigger for you to help someone else in need.
p.s. My arms are almost dead. I will update when I have the strength.
I'm out of money and homeless in ten days. Can't feed or dress myself. What I have to do to manage to use the restroom is too humiliating to even post. Soon I will not be able to urinate or defecate on my own.
The ER nurse, after I told her my arms were falling out of the sockets, pulled hard on the tourniquet for a blood draw and tore more of my shoulder muscles. She offered me Ativan as a way to apologize for permanently injuring me.
They suggested GI scopes, but I'm out of money. My arm lying on the side on a bed for that procedure will likely more or less destroy it. I don't care. Maybe someone will find something before I have to end this.
I will still be seeing the thoracic surgeon soon. I may need exploratory scopes instead. I don't know yet.
I hold out hope I can find a place and disability will go through. At the end of the month, my great insurance will be out of funding. It almost doesn't matter. Soon, my arms will be gone and the rest of my body too battered and disease ridden to live humanely like that.
Whatever you donate will be put toward shelter, the thoracic surgeon, GI scopes, medical/home nurse expenses, and fighting to stay alive.
If I cannot find shelter or assisted living, or help before I am too far gone to save, I will get into hospice on a VSED program, to avoid pointless suffering. If you are ethically opposed to this, I understand your not contributing.
Thank you everyone, for your thoughts, prayers, and donations. They are so very much appreciated. I can't stand living like this anymore, but somehow have a mental peace from letting go of what I can't control. Life is ephemeral.
William my man, I couldn't imagine the pain and suffering that you're going through and I want you to know that your in our prayers! You've strived to make it this far and suffered for to long to give up!! STAY FOCUSED ON THE END RESULT MY FRIEND, YOUR GOING TO PERSERVERE!!! We're getting paid in a few days brother and rest assure we'll be donating! I'm the meantime I'm hear with an ear! Feel free to call or text whenever brother! Your Friend ~ Joshua