Anything helps

Family, Friends

After a year and nine months of battling cancer for the cure, my affliction has become terminal. I’m not sure how much time I have left, and today I’ve started my hospice process. The cancer in me is highly aggressive and chemo, radiation, surgery, as well alternative treatments have failed to subdue the disease. Originating in my colon having overtaken several organs, the cancer has recently spread to my spine, rib, liver, potentially other areas and shows no signs of slowing…

I am disappointed and saddened by my results. I was really looking forward to ringing that cancer bell and doing so much with my extended life. But things don’t always follow our hopes and expectations. Nevertheless, I am so appreciative of everyone that has supported me throughout this ordeal. I love you all.

Though the realization of my inevitable end brings up an array of thoughts and feelings, I’m overall taking it well. I believe it’s the excruciating pain I’m in everyday all day that gives me the calm I have right now. Some days are so full of unbearable pain that passing on seems like it would be a relief. My very last moments may be more panicked. I’m worrying about the death bridge when I approach it. Crippling health aside, it seems surreal and far off at the moment, so life is going on like business as usual.

I have lived a life of limited regret, loved to my max, and explored enough interests to appreciate every extra good day I’ll receive now. It’s like that Frank Sinatra song “My Way”. I would’ve loved more time with you all, but you get what you get and I’ve always made the most of my interactions and relationships. And that's what I'd love for everyone else to do.

Finish your novel, ask out your crush, get out of that toxic relationship/marriage, visit a doctor, and whatever else you’ve been putting off because anything can come along and disrupt your procrastinated plans. And before long, you’ll be out of time. Still, we are more than what we accomplish and dare to do, so don’t feel bad about just being you, like me. Being you is the most amazing thing ever.

Surround my lovely Jessica with your love and support. I love every single second with her. She’s holding strong while taking care of my every need. But it's a really big blow to her. She’ll be losing her soulmate and best friend very early on in the relationship, and the cruelty of my absence can be too much for her to bear alone.

I’m currently bedridden, weakened, and slightly delirious these days. Likely, I won’t be up for many visits or communication, but try and catch me when I’m well enough.

Thank you for all your help, time, inspiration, and understanding.

With Complete Love,

Joe