This is the lowest point I can get, but I don’t know what else to do. Bottom line is, I haven’t seen Peyton or Grady since July. Because of the way our amazing court system treats fathers in this state.. I’ve never missed a single birthday, concert, holiday, game. NOTHING. I’ve coached football, been there for every sport, I’ve never missed a single thing. But here I am being painted as a villain. People can break up without the kids having to be used as pawns to hurt other people. But here we are. Mel and Parker miss their siblings. I’ve been in communication with a lawyer, who is also a magistrate herself and knows my ex’s lawyer very well. The point of this is, all the hours in working overtime and what not is going straight to bills. Carmella’s insulin and diabetes supplies, rent for a place I had to rush to get so I could get Mel and Parker back, covering expenses due to missed work because of countless court dates. Etc. I can’t front the retainer right now for a lawyer. But after today, it’s clear I have no choice but to ask for help. Her lawyer said today that when paternity is established, they’re going to take the kids for good.. I don’t know what else to do. I’m sorry to ask. I’m sorry to look so ridiculous and vulnerable. But when it comes to the kids, I just can’t do this on my own anymore. I know it’s the Holidays, again I’m sorry. Anything to help is greatly appreciated. I’ll provide updates, screenshots of bills for proof, whatever you all want to see so you know where the funds are going. I’ve missed Peyton’s 3rd birthday and now Grady is 7 today. I promised I’d always be there but now I can’t. I appreciate everyone. I apologize again.