Elora's Service Dog
I am Elora's mommy. Elora was born on Dec 11, after two and a half days of labor. She was an intense and high needs baby from minute 1. She was also incredibly expressive and cute! For her first 13 months, I ate a special diet, taking out foods she was or became intolerant to, so that I could breastfeed her. She couldn't have any dairy or soy, so all formula was not an option. By the time she was 13 months old, I had been eating 5-6 foods for 6 months. She also didn't sleep more than 1-3 hours at a time and I was exhausted. She was only 17 pounds, but had met early most of her developmental milestones. She was speaking in full sentences at 1, using correct personal pronouns. Her vocabulary has always been huge, but she was having frustrations getting the words out. At 13 months, I found a nutritional therapist half a country away who did a test for both of us that told us exactly what our intolerances were. Within a month, Elora had gained 5 pounds and was sleeping better!
As I said, she was a very intense child, and taking care of her has been a challenge. She would have meltdowns and cry, she didn't like other people, she needed things HER way. But she wasn't doing it for attention, her little body and mind was just trying to cope with all the stimulation that's around us always - lights, colors, touch, sound, etc.
When she was 2 and a half I got out of bed and saw some Skylanders figures lined up in a row on the floor. I went upstairs (our bedroom was in the basement) and at the top of the stairs was something else all lined up. Suddenly, all the difficulties we were having with her behavior and communication SLAMMED into focus and I knew, I just knew, she was on the autism spectrum.
I went down to the laundry room and wanted to panic. You see, my son, who is 7 years older than Elora, is also on the autism spectrum, and we have been working with him for many years. He was doing wonderfully, but his first 4 years were very difficult. He would scream for no apparent reason, sometimes when we just took his hand, he couldn't communicate with regular words until he was about 4, and we had to watch extra closely to keep him safe.
So I thought about panicking. I thought, I don't know if I can do this. And then I thought, But I AM doing this already. I CAN do this.
I then turned to my fellow autism mamas, who I had connected with just earlier that year (thankfully!) and shared my suspicions. I'd always known something was going on with Elora, but I thought she was just very intense and high needs. I loved her intensely, too, which is good, since her babyhood was so hard!
The autism mamas were encouraging and supportive.
I called our pediatrician and asked to get referrals to the autism clinics locally to get her an evaluation. I wanted to know for certain and to be able to start getting her the therapies she needed.
We got into a clinic within a couple months, which is very quick, and spent 4-5 hours there, going from one part of the evaluation to the other. We went outside and played and ate lunch while the team met to decide what their diagnoses would be and then called us in. They told me they didn't think she was on the spectrum, but that she had PICA (eating things that aren't food), unspecified disruptive impulse control & conduct disorder, & stereotypic movement disorder. The last two are often a part of autism. They told me that because she was so social, they wouldn't diagnose her and recommended I come back in a year to evaluate again. They put me on the waiting list for Family Behavioral Therapy (which didn't call me for 1 and a half years!).
I wasn't taking it, so I arranged for her to have therapy in our home, at the same time as our son. We were sent an amazing therapist for Elora, Miss Nora, and over the next 8 months, she helped us provide Elora with the words and tools she needed to communicate better and deal with overstimulation. It was like a night and day difference in Elora's behavior after Elora worked with her. Unfortunately, due to insurance issues, we had to stop therapy a year after we started.
This last year, I've been doing my best to provide Elora with what she needs, deep pressure, sensory objects, sunglasses, etc., but we're having a hard time. She did get officially diagnosed a few months ago, and we are working on getting some in home therapy support again.
Since summer, when she accidentally got some red food dye, she's been doing some of her old behaviors and taking her out to do errands, and even church, is really hard. She gets very overstimulated easily, has meltdowns, can't control her body, makes loud noises, perseverates on noises, motions, and questions, and more. I have ended more than one outing in tears. Not leaving the house is not an option, and it does no service to Elora, as she can't be at home all the time.
I was able to get a preschooler sized baby carrier and can wear her on my back for short periods of time, but she is almost 50# and my body can't handle it for longer. However, most outings take more than 20 minutes. I need help. We feel that a service dog will be a huge help to her. It'll help her regulate her body, provide pressure when it sits on her lap, give her sensory input through her hands, eyes, and nose, and it'll be able to sense a meltdown coming, alert me and help her get through it. Her psychologist also believes her own service dog will really help her,.
The puppy alone is $2400, flying it here with a person is $300, and then there are the vet bills and food, licensing, and spaying/neutering that we'll need to have ready for it. We're planning to hire a local trainer who does amazing work with service and therapy animals, and his fee is $3000.
I am a very private person and don't usually like putting this kind of thing out there, but I do know that when I am in a position to do more for others, I would want to know if a friend or a friend of a friend or a loved one had a need. I do plan to pay it forward when we are able, and do what I can now, even though it's usually very small.
I have tried lots of other things. We have a weighted blanket, I mentioned the preschool sized baby carrier. We've tried sunglasses, essential oil sniffers, deep pressure, hats, body sock, noise cancelling headphones, tablet, special diet, therapy, and probably more that i can't think of.
Her doctor believes this will a huge help both of us.
When we see a dog in public, she always wants to ask to see them and if given permission, she's so much calmer afterwards. And so am I, because she is and I pet the dog, too. So Elora having a dog will benefit our whole family stress wise and quality of life. I have my own sensory issues and have a very hard time caring for Elora, doing what I need to, and giving the other kids what they need.
If you've gotten to the bottom of this tome, thank you. Thank you for reading. Please pray for us, or send hugs.
Elora is an amazing human being. I am privileged to be her mother. I'm so very thankful for her. <3
The breeder we're getting her puppy from: http://www.miniature-goldendoodle.com/index.html