We are adopting a frozen baby!

Hello. We are David and Amy Young.

My wife and I have been married for 9 years and have wanted to start a family since day one. Due to fertility issues on my (David) part, we have been unable to do so. I will detail our story below, but first I would like to let you know about the avenue in which we have decided to have kid(s). We are going to adopt a frozen embryo. A lot of couples who have fertility issues choose to go through IVF. This often results in leftover embryos that hang out in a freezer until subsequent IVF attempts, donation, or destruction. In the case of donation, couples like us can have the opportunity to “adopt” the embryo and have it implanted. This process will allow Amy to experience childbirth and save an embryo from permanent stasis. While this approach is exciting, it does come with a bit of a price tag. After much research, we can adopt 3 embryos for 18K with each transfer/implant at 6K-8K. Then there are some other legal and miscellaneous fees involved. So far, we have spent over 15K on other fertility treatments, but to no avail.

A quick note from Amy with some "About Us" info....

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Hello! My name is Amy and my husband’s name is David. We live in Apple Valley, the heart of the High Desert - most people’s road to Los Angeles or Las Vegas. But we like our little hideaway, tucked in amongst the Joshua trees and Ocotillos. I teach high school English and live close enough to see the Friday night lights shining in the fall. David is a data analyst with his own company, and he’s incredible at his job. I always say he’s got a white-collar brain but a blue-collar heart. You’ll never meet a man who can make you feel more at ease.

Well, where do I begin this nine-year tale? It all started with the classic boy-meets-girl story… modernized of course with a “dot com” at the end of our meet-cute. I was twenty-seven and David thirty-six when we met on Match.com in October of 2013. It was a flurry of a romance - I tried to friend-zone him, but he outwitted me, and we ended up getting married in a beautiful church in Newport Beach eight months later in July of 2014.

We rented out a granny flat for our first three “honeymooner” years in Camarillo; but then we decided to move in with David’s wonderful family, the Youngs, in Apple Valley. Not long after, the in-laws built their own granny and grandpa flat next door, and my sister and brother-in-law and little nephew moved two whole acres away into their own newly-built house. So here we all are, all situated on nine acres of scrub-brush, always a moment’s walk away to have a family movie night or help out when times get tough. It’s a wonderful thing, to have family so close. My own mom, Rita, isn’t far behind. She’ll move into a neighboring plot once she decides to retire as secretary of the church where David and I were married.

So how did we end up on a fundraising site asking for money? You’d never think having a baby would be so complicated. David and I celebrated our ninth anniversary just last month, and we are just hoping that this is the year we can finally celebrate a pregnancy - maybe before the big ten.

Let me have David take over and explain what went wrong and why we are taking such an unorthodox, but we think very special, path to parenthood.

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And now back to David (for those of you who don't know me, please forgive my sense of humor).

Our Story: (Disclaimer: This may contain some info that could be considered TMI, but we want you to have to full picture).

Due to personal and religious reasons, we waited to have sex until marriage (hold your applause, we met and married in 8 months. Not exactly winning any hold out contests over here). Early on it was evident that something wasn’t right. I suffered from low energy and low libido. After seeing a doctor, it was determined that I had low testosterone. I was placed on a topical testosterone replacement therapy, and it seemed to help a little.

We had also decided to not use any form of contraception. The kids will arrive when they do. Well, the problem was, they weren’t arriving. After 3 years of no kids, I went in for fertility tests. The tests came back “not good”. Not only did I have low testosterone, but also hypogonadism resulting in azoospermia. Translation: I was “shooting blanks.”

It also came to light that the topical testosterone I was taking also hurt our chances of having kids as testosterone replacement therapy can lower your sperm count. Information that would have been good to know. But nonetheless, my new Urologist put me on HCG injections and discontinued the testosterone therapy. How a female pregnancy hormone (HCG) can help a dude out with his issues is still a mystery to me. But there is some really good science behind it, and you can google it for all the details.

I’m pretty sure these HCG injections had some gold flakes in it as each shot was around $250. We were really hoping this would fix me as we were heavily invested at 1 shot per week for 6 months. Unfortunately, they did little to move the needle. Same diagnosis as before.

We then decided that the next best thing was to go to the sperm bank. It’s a bizarre experience. You basically go to an online dating like site and pick a sperm donor. So, there we were, adjusting filters, “over 6 ft tall”, “over 200 pounds”, “likes camping”, etc. We found our “man” and bought the remaining 8 IUI vials he had left. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t prepared for the price tag on the vials. 1K each. I mean, for something that is usually so easy to make, how could it be so expensive? Not like there is an issue on the supply side causing the price to skyrocket. Anyway….

We were now in the era of Covid, so I was unable to accompany Amy to the clinic for each procedure. Just so you know, there are a couple of methods available from the sperm bank. We chose the IUI vials. I’m no doctor, so I lack the medical terminology on how to accurately describe the IUI process. Therefore, I affectionally dubbed it the “turkey baster” method. Crude and crass? Absolutely! Effective in explaining the process? 100%

We were told that it usually takes 4-5 attempts before a success. Well, we blew through all 8 vials in a year with no baby. About halfway through Amy had to get all pumped up on hormones and egg producing/dropping shots. Still nada.

Then to add insult to injury, or because God thought that I had not thoroughly understood the book of Job, during this process, I got a flesh-eating bacteria in my inner thigh. Basically, some normal everyday skin bacteria crawled its way through and formed some nasty witches brew in my leg that took a couple surgeries and about a year to heal.

So here we are today. We’ve always wanted to be parents. We are hoping that this method will allow us to fulfill our dreams. There is an above 90% chance that the baby (embryo) will survive the thaw and over 50% chance the transfer will be successful.

We appreciate you reading through all of this. We are asking for your prayers and financial support. I’ll be honest, this is a difficult thing for me to do. I’ve never been one to ask for a “handout.” But I’ve reconciled the fact that we need help and will set my pride aside. However, I do pledge that if we are able to successfully go through this process, we will donate $100 per month for 18 years to other couples who are going through what we are today.

Thank you and God Bless. David and Amy Young