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Thank you all for even taking the time to read my Mom's story. Thank you, for all the love and prayers, we appreciate every single one of you!!
I know money cannot buy happiness by any means, in this situation I'm hopeful it will help lift some of the weight and worry off my mom's shoulders. After losing her husband to liver cancer whom she has spent the last 20 years with and recently just married 5 months ago. She also left her job of 14 years to take care of him. She is being faced with the same sentence of "you two weren't married long enough to receive any benefits." Right now she is attempting to pay his medical bills, his funeral bill and her household bills to live, all without any income coming in. Also she is still attempting to settle my Grandma's after death expenses from her passing 9 months ago.
My mom lost the man she has spent 20 years with, had a life planned out with, but also was in the newly wed stage with(they recently got married April 3, 2019). Since she has left her job before retirement age she will not receive her full retirement amount if she does decide to take it now. Unfortunately she is unable to meet with them for an appointment reguarding it until late October, so she still has no idea what will happen. She has been informed that they had to be married for 1 year before she can collect his pension, and they had to be married for 9 months in order for her to be eligible for survivors benefits with social security. He had no life insurance to help pay for funeral cost or any other things she is going to encounter. There was no company who would insure him with a diagnosis like he had. Medical bills continue to come in daily, and as it all sits right now, she is attempting to conquer all this, figure out how to pay for his funeral, and finish up the things that never got finished with my grandmother passing. But also she is attempting to maintain a household and the bills with no income coming in, and grieve the loss of her husband all while attempting to take care of herself.
I started this for my mom in hopes to help ease some stress off of her while she is adapting to life without her husband whom passed away on August 30, 2019. She is never one to ask for help, but she is always one to drop whatever she is doing to help someone else. Tom was the same way as well he was all about giving and helping but, was never the greatest on the receiving end. Knowing him like I did though he would be relieved to see my mom being taken care of like he vowed to do for her. That was his biggest worry on how she was going to be able to handle everything. He devoted 20 years of his life to opening his heart to not just my mom but me as well and we soon became a family after he moved to PA from NY when he met my mom. He pushed me to be the person I am today, supported me, and mostly he opened his heart to me when he didn't have to. He had a heart of gold! He never once questioned anyone whenever they were in need and always helped whenever he could. I'm hoping I can be half the person he was when it came to helping someone and I'm hoping to start with helping my Mom.
*Back Story on His Diagnosis*
On August 30, 2019 my step dad passed away at his and my mom Marlene's home in Titusville, PA. He had been diagnosed with colon cancer in February 2015. Underwent a successful surgery to remove the cancer in March 2015. While having the surgery performed to remove the colon cancer the surgeon discovered his liver was not in good health. After many rounds of doctor visits he was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, along with some other diagnosis of his liver that he was fighting but was cured of. Then many months later he would receive the diagnosis that he now had liver cancer as well. He had also been diagnosed with COPD in the middle of all of this. He had been placed on the liver transplant list. My mom had been taking care of Tom and juggling her job, while suddenly she lost her own mother in November of 2018 and had to begin taking care of all the things that come along with losing a loved one. Tom began taking chemotherapy medications and doing rounds of radiation treatments while attempting to be supportive of my mom who had just lost her mother, when the doctors called and stated they needed to see him. He went to the appointment like any other appointment in February 2019. That is when he was informed that he had a large blood clot in his portal vein (the main vein supplying blood to his liver and his body). They also informed him the tumors on his liver had grown. He was taken off the transplant list, and told to go live his life to the fullest. They had given him a prognosis of 6 months to a year to live. He wasn't giving up there, as he stated he was going to continue to fight so he could live a happy life with my mom and enjoy my 4 children who adored him as their "Papi", those kids were his world and strength! He got a second opinion from The Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. They did lots of testing and different forms of treatments there. Unfortunately he never got to see if all the time he put into attempting to beat this disease paid off or not, he was unable to attend the appointment on August 26th due to his health. He had began to develop ascites (fluid build up in your abdomen), he had been drained of the fluid multiple times, draining liters upon liters of fluid during each procedure. The pain began to be unbearable, my mom started to miss more and more work. He was placed on hospice the middle of August 2019. He had his last trip to the hospital on August 23rd, after he signed himself off of hospice that morning because he said he wasn't done fighting yet. They received news at the hospital that evening that his kidneys were failing, his liver was worse and he had blood in his bowels. It was at that time he told my mom "Hunny, I'm tired, I'm tired of watching you suffer because you are watching me suffer. So let's go home." So Mom took him home that evening, and she spent the next 8 days devoted to him. He peacefully passed away in his sleep at their home. In 9 months time my mom had lost her mother, then her husband.
I know money cannot buy happiness by any means, in this situation I'm hopeful it will help lift some of the weight and worry off my mom's shoulders. After losing her husband to liver cancer whom she has spent the last 20 years with and recently just married 5 months ago. She also left her job of 14 years to take care of him. She is being faced with the same sentence of "you two weren't married long enough to receive any benefits." Right now she is attempting to pay his medical bills, his funeral bill and her household bills to live, all without any income coming in. Also she is still attempting to settle my Grandma's after death expenses from her passing 9 months ago.My mom lost the man she has spent 20 years with, had a life planned out with, but also was in the newly wed stage with(they recently got married April 3, 2019). Since she has left her job before retirement age she will not receive her full retirement amount if she does decide to take it now. Unfortunately she is unable to meet with them for an appointment reguarding it until late October, so she still has no idea what will happen. She has been informed that they had to be married for 1 year before she can collect his pension, and they had to be married for 9 months in order for her to be eligible for survivors benefits with social security. He had no life insurance to help pay for funeral cost or any other things she is going to encounter. There was no company who would insure him with a diagnosis like he had. Medical bills continue to come in daily, and as it all sits right now, she is attempting to conquer all this, figure out how to pay for his funeral, and finish up the things that never got finished with my grandmother passing. But also she is attempting to maintain a household and the bills with no income coming in, and grieve the loss of her husband all while attempting to take care of herself.
I started this for my mom in hopes to help ease some stress off of her while she is adapting to life without her husband whom passed away on August 30, 2019. She is never one to ask for help, but she is always one to drop whatever she is doing to help someone else. Tom was the same way as well he was all about giving and helping but, was never the greatest on the receiving end. Knowing him like I did though he would be relieved to see my mom being taken care of like he vowed to do for her. That was his biggest worry on how she was going to be able to handle everything. He devoted 20 years of his life to opening his heart to not just my mom but me as well and we soon became a family after he moved to PA from NY when he met my mom. He pushed me to be the person I am today, supported me, and mostly he opened his heart to me when he didn't have to. He had a heart of gold! He never once questioned anyone whenever they were in need and always helped whenever he could. I'm hoping I can be half the person he was when it came to helping someone and I'm hoping to start with helping my Mom.
*Back Story on His Diagnosis*
On August 30, 2019 my step dad passed away at his and my mom Marlene's home in Titusville, PA. He had been diagnosed with colon cancer in February 2015. Underwent a successful surgery to remove the cancer in March 2015. While having the surgery performed to remove the colon cancer the surgeon discovered his liver was not in good health. After many rounds of doctor visits he was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, along with some other diagnosis of his liver that he was fighting but was cured of. Then many months later he would receive the diagnosis that he now had liver cancer as well. He had also been diagnosed with COPD in the middle of all of this. He had been placed on the liver transplant list. My mom had been taking care of Tom and juggling her job, while suddenly she lost her own mother in November of 2018 and had to begin taking care of all the things that come along with losing a loved one. Tom began taking chemotherapy medications and doing rounds of radiation treatments while attempting to be supportive of my mom who had just lost her mother, when the doctors called and stated they needed to see him. He went to the appointment like any other appointment in February 2019. That is when he was informed that he had a large blood clot in his portal vein (the main vein supplying blood to his liver and his body). They also informed him the tumors on his liver had grown. He was taken off the transplant list, and told to go live his life to the fullest. They had given him a prognosis of 6 months to a year to live. He wasn't giving up there, as he stated he was going to continue to fight so he could live a happy life with my mom and enjoy my 4 children who adored him as their "Papi", those kids were his world and strength! He got a second opinion from The Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. They did lots of testing and different forms of treatments there. Unfortunately he never got to see if all the time he put into attempting to beat this disease paid off or not, he was unable to attend the appointment on August 26th due to his health. He had began to develop ascites (fluid build up in your abdomen), he had been drained of the fluid multiple times, draining liters upon liters of fluid during each procedure. The pain began to be unbearable, my mom started to miss more and more work. He was placed on hospice the middle of August 2019. He had his last trip to the hospital on August 23rd, after he signed himself off of hospice that morning because he said he wasn't done fighting yet. They received news at the hospital that evening that his kidneys were failing, his liver was worse and he had blood in his bowels. It was at that time he told my mom "Hunny, I'm tired, I'm tired of watching you suffer because you are watching me suffer. So let's go home." So Mom took him home that evening, and she spent the next 8 days devoted to him. He peacefully passed away in his sleep at their home. In 9 months time my mom had lost her mother, then her husband.
Organiser and beneficiary
Nichole Burrows
Organiser
Pleasantville, PA
Marlene Rocke
Beneficiary