Please help Pete after his head trauma

Hello, my name is Pete (Dennis) Peterson and I recently had a very bad experience that has left me bed bound. I awoke around my usual time of 4:30 a.m. and was walking into my kitchen when suddenly, I felt a searing pain to the top of my head. The pain was so bad that I had passed out by the time that I hit the floor. I don't remember anything after that until the gardener, who stops by in the morning for a cup of coffee, found me in a pool of my own blood.

He picked me up and cleaned my head with a bit of alcohol and peroxide and then we went to my doctor, who told me that due to it's position on my head, it was not caused by a fall but by a blunt force trauma - meaning someone had hit me on the top of the head.

I flew back to the US immediately to get a proper diagnosis and after the MRI at Barnes Hospital in St. Louis, MO., the emergency room doctors told me that I had a cracked skull, bleeding in the brain, strong concussion and major inflammation. They kept me in for observation for a few days and then released me. I flew back home to Costa Rica where I have been working with my doctor to try and heal.

I am dealing with hallucinations... where I open my eyes and I feel as though I am on the ceiling or the wall and looking down at the floor... as if there is no gravity. It makes my head spin and I get sick. I see animals run by me that are not there. I have had long conversations with friends, only to check my phone in the morning to see that they never called me. I still hear the most beautiful music; classical, jazz and opera... so amazing and far my ability to create. I decided they are coming from somewhere else... another place in time... as I definitely hear it. I also have major pain on the top of my head where the skull was cracked and I bleed onto the floor. I am finding it hard to sleep as I get in a panic mode and I don't know why. Fear? I couldn't even walk properly for the first couple weeks, with my body shaking uncontrollably. It has been a month and I am still in bed with hallucinations, inflammation and severe pain in the head. My doctor tells me that these will disappear once I have time to heal, which will take up to 3 months or a little more.

I admit that I do need some help. I really never thought something like this would happen to me. The doctors at Barnes as well as here in Costa Rica, told me that I am lucky to be alive, as the blow to the head would have put most people in the ground. I am grateful... but I am also wondering, "why me?"

The gardener who found me, asked me to come and stay with him for some months so that he can watch over me and help me to heal. I accepted his offer. He first started by making chicken broth for me and we are up to chicken broth with a little bit of potatoes and carrots. It is taking some time to get my body back together. I am finding that the healing process to the brain is much slower than it is with the rest of the body.

The medications, visits to the doctors, emergency, and the therapy needed has completely depleted me. I have always been self sufficient and I really didn't want to do a GFM, but I've no other choice. I have to heal before I can work and I'm still in bed waiting for the hallucinations to stop. The healing process is taking much longer than I expected. My doctor told me that the hair won't grow back but I will have a viscous looking scar in its place. The one silver lining is that my spelling seems to have improved (gotta' try and find some humor in it).

During my morning meditations, I sometimes wonder if before I came into this incarnation, I asked my spirit guide to experience everything on her list. My spirit guide said, "okay", took out her plumed pen, and then checked everything.

At the moment, there is nothing on my list but enjoyment, love, beauty and friendship… ohhh, and good food. That is what I’m ready for now…. the last check marks. I certainly saved the best for last. I am hoping the worst of them are now over and a better today will begin.

If anyone out there could help me get past this... I will be forever in your debt. I am finding it hard to do alone. Almost impossible really. I sincerely thank you for your empathy and for your caring.

My best,

Pete