Pay for existing and future medical bills

In May of 2023 I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder which is a serious mental health condition that has periods of hypomania and depression. For the past three months my mental illness has taken a very scary and swift nose dive in which I am very unstable and unwell. I have been attempting to find a medication regime that works, but with this comes unexpected side effects in which I have to call out sick from work (losing wages) or behavioral changes such as rapid cycling or mixed episodes that have been dangerous for me to experience. I am having very little days in between my episodes, and I am just trying to live day by day.

In January, we made a big move to Bend Oregon for a new job and we bought a new house. Our credit score was doing well, and we had enough money to make ends meet. Unfortunately, many unexpected and very expensive things happened back to back. First, we had to paint our house to close which cost us an additional 4k out of pocket leaving us without any savings. Second, I got a new job that paid well and helped me to avoid needing to use childcare. We had no concerns about our financial situation and things seemed hopeful. Fast forward, I was laid off due to my boss not being able to afford my position in his company as it was still growing. And I was without any income for 2 months. Meanwhile, I still had my toy business that was in fact costing me money (still is costing me money) as inflation has completely destroyed its financial usefulness. This forced me to get creative in finding new solutions - all in the midst of starting my first psychiatrist visit the day I was laid off. I did not have medical insurance that would cover my care - as we have a 3k deductible - and I have been paying $200 out of pocket to meet with my doctor each visit. Not to mention I have had to try multiple different medications all ranging in price. I found a new job, a good job, but the damage was done. Unfortunately, I have had to pay 1k a month for childcare, I could not find anyone who was cheaper or safe for my girls. Our social circle is very limited as we are not from Central Oregon and we do not have family. And lastly, my disorder causes me to make rash and impulsive decisions like buying items I cannot afford because I am experiencing a hypomanic episode which can be marked by delusional ideas surrounding current situations and cause me to have a more elevated and charged demeanor in which I feel compelled to purchase items despite knowing I cannot afford them. Rapid cycling of my disorder means I’m experiencing these extreme and intense shifts in mood quickly and intensely in which I feel I have no control over my behaviors or moods. I’m so overwhelmed living in my mind that coping has been truly a nightmare.

We can not afford nor sustain our current bills any longer and still continue to attend to my medical needs. I was hit with a surprise medical bill of 2k from Frances’ broken arm from the fall that was sent to collections because I wasn’t aware of it (as we had moved and they were not forwarding this mail) and so I no longer could negotiate it. I had to pay it off in full to avoid it going to debt collectors. I then spun out on the highway and almost rolled my vehicle because our tires were bald, so that was an expense. I then had to pay an additional $900 this month for other car related maintenance issues. Things are piling, we are drowning, and I am on the brink of a mental breakdown. My greatest fear is that due to all the additional stressors that it will continue to cause more frequent bipolar episodes, and as a result land me in emergent or even long term care. If this were to happen, I would lose my wages, and the medical debt we would aquire would be something that would take a long time to recover from. We are doing everything we can to avoid bankruptcy in the middle of this mental health crisis, but at this point it almost feels inevitable. I do not know what to do, except ask for help. I need help because if we don’t get it, I will continue to get sicker and we will be financially ruined if I have to go to the hospital. We are already on the brink of a financial crisis.

I have always prided myself on being self-sufficient and a hard worker. I was very poor in high school, and I understand what it feels like to be hungry, to go without, to choose to go without necessities, to get creative, and to always put my own needs last. I have behaved under this framework for most of my adult life because we started with 3k in our bank account with no job prospects and no family when we married. We have always sacrificed over the years - and having kids young and getting married young we have had to kick and fight our way to where we are now. Despite all the good going on in our lives, me being sick has created the most dire financial situation of our lives. I can not work my way out of this. I cannot work smarter. I cannot try harder. I literally am barely surviving inside my head. Every day has been a fight for me, and all I can do is ask for mercy and compassion. If you are willing to help in any way, it would make such a difference in my recovery.

Our financial situation will not be resolved with help, it’s severe, and we will have to figure it out on a bigger scale. But, in the meantime my health needs must be dealt with and we have no disposable income at all, we don’t even have enough for bills, which makes getting help even more challenging and overwhelming. Further causing me to become more unwell. I’m open to answering any questions. Please don’t hesitate to ask, we just need the support so I can get well.