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Pauline’s bucket list

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Help Me Make Memories While I Still Can

Hi, I’m Pauline - a 50 year old single mum to three amazing kids and a full-time fundraiser for a homelessness charity. I’ve spent over a decade supporting others, from crowdfunding for local clubs to running Easter egg collections for kids in care. I never expected to be the one asking for help - but here I am, hoping to create memories while I still can.

It started with tiredness…

After the pandemic, I never got my energy back. I was constantly exhausted. My GP put it down to weight gain, menopause, or just age (I was 48!!). Blood tests showed raised inflammatory markers, and they kept climbing.

Around the same time, I was referred for a scan to check for gallstones. On 22nd November 2023, I had a CT scan. Just two days later, on 24th November, I got a call: “There’s been a cancellation, can you come in on Tuesday?” I burst into tears. My original results appointment was booked for January. So I knew that it wasn’t just a cancellation, they don’t skip 7 weeks of people in the queue do they?

The next day, I hosted my biggest fundraising event of the year - my fabulous Strictly at the Titanic - raising £83,000 for Shelter. I smiled, cheered, and pushed the anxiety of my upcoming appointment aside.

On 28th November, I was told I had a 5cm tumour on my kidney, and ten days later I got the call to say my entire kidney would need to be removed. (By a robot! A robot assisted radical nephrectomy)

Surgery and the diagnosis

I had surgery on 7th February and I was so scared that I was going to die in surgery, I wrote letters to my children, partner, and dad before theatre. The recovery was brutal - I couldn’t sit up, move, or get to the toilet. My partner Peter had to walk me up and down the street in my pyjamas to rebuild my strength. I couldn’t drive for months. If you know me you know how much I love to drive!

When the results came back, the diagnosis was worse than expected: aggressive grade 4 clear cell renal cell carcinoma. Cancer had already spread to two lymph nodes so it was no longer contained to the kidney.

I was referred to Clatterbridge and started immunotherapy to reduce the chances of it coming back. In May I got intense pain down the left side of my ribs. I pushed through to do the things we had planned, Greenday in Manchester -though we had to leave halfway through, Glastonbury - where we volunteer for a charity - and take my daughters to see Taylor Swift, but I was struggling badly.

On 1st July I went in for my scan results.
“I’m afraid it’s bad news.”
The immunotherapy hadn’t worked, the cancer was back, had spread and was now incurable.

Living with incurable cancer

Since then, I’ve been on a couple of treatments. The first (Tivozanib) didn’t work. I’m now on Everolimus and Lenvatinib, which are working for now at a much lower dose than I should be on. Side effects can be harsh, nausea, pain, fatigue, and more, plus the failed immunotherapy has caused other issues for me, thyroid damage, high blood pressure, high cholesterol. I take multiple medications just to function.

I’m still working full-time from home. I have to - we’re not wealthy. And I want to keep going for as long as I can. I love my job and I love helping people.

Why I need your help

Before all this, Peter and I had plans. We wanted to get married (talked about going to see a SpaceX launch for a honeymoon!!) Convert a campervan. Visit my friends in Boston and his family in Canada. Take a cruise. Live life, slowly and joyfully.

Now we’re racing the clock - and we simply don’t have the funds.

I’m not asking for the moon. Just for the chance to make a few memories. To do a few of the things I thought I had time for. To create moments with my children, my partner, and the people I love.

If you can donate, share, or support in any way, I’d be so grateful.

Thank you for reading.
Pauline

What I can remember for my bucket list is in the gallery.



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    Pauline Cox
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    England
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