Krystie's Creative Fund
Donation protected
The above photo was taken on the day that I said "goodbye" to Corporate America and "hello" to a life of my own making. It marked the first time that I officially chose myself and began my journey of manifesting the career of my dreams and chasing after the things that make me feel alive.
2020: The year I commit to rediscovering my creativity
Last summer, I experienced a mini existential crisis. Somewhere along the way, while making the leap from Corporate America to pursue Slant'd, I lost my sense of self and forgot what made me... me. It was a major awakening that marked the start of a new chapter in my journey of self discovery. At the end of 2019, I decided that 2020 would be the year I rediscover my creativity.
Since making that commitment, I've experienced a few synchronistic moments that reassure me that I'm on the right path:
On Jan 3, I gathered some of my best friends in NYC to make Manifestation Boards (our version of a vision board). This is a peek into what I plan to manifest this year to kick off the new decade (notice the section completely dedicated to owning the idea that "I am a creative person"):
On Jan 4, I started the Artist's Way, a 12 week, self-guided program for creative recovery, with 4 other incredible women. It's been an incredibly soul nourishing and meaningful experience so far. One of the biggest lessons I've learned occurred during Week 1, when we were introduced to the term, "the shadow artist."
I've been a shadow artist for the last 17 years of my life, surrounding myself with creatives, yet never fully seeing myself as one. For years, I had scared myself into thinking small, into believing more in the potential of others than that of my own.
I began to have flashbacks to conversations from my childhood where I believed wholeheartedly that I was a creative, as well as the defining moments that set me down a "traditional, Asian American path to success" that ultimately convinced me that my creative dreams were out of reach.
"Mom, I know what I want to be when I grow up: an interior designer!"
"Drawing and painting are my favorite!"
"I love writing stories! I'm going to write a novel one day!"
"I guess if it's between art and biology, I should pick biology."
"Well, if I'm not going to be a doctor or a lawyer, I guess I can go into management consulting."
Since discovering this concept, I've been working to identify all the ways that I show up as a shadow artist and what dreams I want to chase. One of the dreams that still holds true is the dream of being a writer.
On Feb 21, I attended a CreativeMornings talk in Brooklyn, featuring life coach Tina Essmaker, who shared the importance of investing in yourself. She ended her talk by encouraging the audience to create opportunities for our communities to invest in us, which made me viscerally uncomfortable. I had never once thought about asking others to invest in me. A toxic narrative began to swirl in my head, one that sullied the thought of asking for help as "selfish" and "gross." I told myself that there was no way I could muster up the hubris to ask my community to show up for me in the ways I wanted—and needed—them to. But the idea, as uncomfortable as it made me feel, stuck with me for the next few weeks.
On Feb 23, I discovered the Williamsburg Writing Residency. It seemed like a great fit ("for new and emerging writers:" That's me!). My imposter syndrome flared up, but a friend's pep talk encouraged me to apply. My Artist's Way circle pushed me further by encouraging me to set up a GoFundMe as a way to create an opportunity for others to invest in me.
On Feb 29, I submitted my application to the writing residency. In the spirit of manifestation, I also created a blank GoFundMe page (just in case!) and nervously waited for the application decision.
On March 3, I was officially accepted into the inaugural Williamsburg Writing Residency!
Why am I asking for your support?
TL;DR: I'm really bad at asking for help. This GoFundMe is a spiritual exercise to help me internalize a truth that I already know is real, but have trouble embracing: my community loves me and wants to support me in the pursuit of my dreams.
Long story:
Asian Americans (AsAm) have a notoriously difficult time asking for help. I'm no stranger to that and neither are many of my friends who also identify as AsAm. I have a strong work ethic and a seemingly never-ending well of energy, but I also have difficulty drawing boundaries (i.e., saying no) and prioritizing my needs. Tack that onto the lived experience of being an older sister and daughter of a single mother and you get a fiercely independent go-getter who has been conditioned to hide weakness and vulnerability.
I started going to therapy at the end of 2018, where I learned that I carry significant guilt and often feel like a burden to others. Since then, I've been doing a lot of self work to unravel this toxic narrative, be kinder to myself, and get more comfortable with asking for help. I now know that there is strength in vulnerability and I'm leaning into my #BigPiscesEnergy more and more each day. It's something I try to bring to every relationship, personal and professional.
As a first step, I am asking my friends + community to help me jumpstart my creative journey. By supporting my GoFundMe, you will be gifting me the means and confidence to ask for, receive, and give more help, love, and generosity.
How can you support?
I'm turning 31 years young on March 13th! Instead of hosting a dinner / get together for my birthday, I'm asking my friends & my community to celebrate with me by investing in my dreams.
I would be so grateful for any support throughout my journey—anything from monetary love (every $1 helps!) or words of encouragement to help me combat imposter syndrome around being a creative (I'm terrible at receiving words of affirmation, but I'm working on it).
What will your money go towards?
First and foremost, I'm committed to making sure that your generosity goes to good use! I plan to put all money raised towards things that I know work for me and will nurture my inner artist. It's all based on past experience and the self work that I've done to understand what I need to thrive creatively.
1) Tuition for my first ever writing residency (April 3-5) so I can write my first creative non-fiction piece.
2) 1 year co-working membership so I can connect with, work alongside, and be inspired by other creatives (as a budding entrepreneur + scrappy freelancer, I don't have an office / workspace; I'm currently applying for a desk at a space in Brooklyn specifically for heart-forward creatives!). In full transparency, full cost ranges from $2400-5400/year, depending on which co-working space I get into, so your donations will help make it more affordable.
3) Productivity Planner to help me prioritize my creative tasks (I just used up my first planner and need a new one).
4) Self Planner Journal to help me hold space for self care and reflection, while tracking my growth.
This is just the beginning of my journey to embrace my creative power.
With your support, I'm excited to no longer allow doubt, fear of failure, or imposter syndrome get in the way of pursuing my dreams. I'm ready to free my inner artist from the shadows so she can finally breathe in the light. I strongly believe that I will emerge from this creative journey a more confident, inspired, and heart-forward leader and creative entrepreneur, one that will lovingly create beautiful and safe spaces for people to grow, find their voice, and thrive.
Special thank you to the following people who've believed in me when I had a hard time believing in myself. You gave—and continue to give—me the confidence to be the creative person I know I can be. I love and appreciate you so much:
- Felicia Liang
- Jojo Park
- Cassandra Lam
- Hailin Liu
- Tina Yip
- Vanessa Pham
- Irving Ruan
- Katerina Jeng
2020: The year I commit to rediscovering my creativity
Last summer, I experienced a mini existential crisis. Somewhere along the way, while making the leap from Corporate America to pursue Slant'd, I lost my sense of self and forgot what made me... me. It was a major awakening that marked the start of a new chapter in my journey of self discovery. At the end of 2019, I decided that 2020 would be the year I rediscover my creativity.
Since making that commitment, I've experienced a few synchronistic moments that reassure me that I'm on the right path:
On Jan 3, I gathered some of my best friends in NYC to make Manifestation Boards (our version of a vision board). This is a peek into what I plan to manifest this year to kick off the new decade (notice the section completely dedicated to owning the idea that "I am a creative person"):
On Jan 4, I started the Artist's Way, a 12 week, self-guided program for creative recovery, with 4 other incredible women. It's been an incredibly soul nourishing and meaningful experience so far. One of the biggest lessons I've learned occurred during Week 1, when we were introduced to the term, "the shadow artist."
I've been a shadow artist for the last 17 years of my life, surrounding myself with creatives, yet never fully seeing myself as one. For years, I had scared myself into thinking small, into believing more in the potential of others than that of my own.
I began to have flashbacks to conversations from my childhood where I believed wholeheartedly that I was a creative, as well as the defining moments that set me down a "traditional, Asian American path to success" that ultimately convinced me that my creative dreams were out of reach.
"Mom, I know what I want to be when I grow up: an interior designer!"
"Drawing and painting are my favorite!"
"I love writing stories! I'm going to write a novel one day!"
"I guess if it's between art and biology, I should pick biology."
"Well, if I'm not going to be a doctor or a lawyer, I guess I can go into management consulting."
Since discovering this concept, I've been working to identify all the ways that I show up as a shadow artist and what dreams I want to chase. One of the dreams that still holds true is the dream of being a writer.
On Feb 21, I attended a CreativeMornings talk in Brooklyn, featuring life coach Tina Essmaker, who shared the importance of investing in yourself. She ended her talk by encouraging the audience to create opportunities for our communities to invest in us, which made me viscerally uncomfortable. I had never once thought about asking others to invest in me. A toxic narrative began to swirl in my head, one that sullied the thought of asking for help as "selfish" and "gross." I told myself that there was no way I could muster up the hubris to ask my community to show up for me in the ways I wanted—and needed—them to. But the idea, as uncomfortable as it made me feel, stuck with me for the next few weeks.
On Feb 23, I discovered the Williamsburg Writing Residency. It seemed like a great fit ("for new and emerging writers:" That's me!). My imposter syndrome flared up, but a friend's pep talk encouraged me to apply. My Artist's Way circle pushed me further by encouraging me to set up a GoFundMe as a way to create an opportunity for others to invest in me.
On Feb 29, I submitted my application to the writing residency. In the spirit of manifestation, I also created a blank GoFundMe page (just in case!) and nervously waited for the application decision.
On March 3, I was officially accepted into the inaugural Williamsburg Writing Residency!
Why am I asking for your support?
TL;DR: I'm really bad at asking for help. This GoFundMe is a spiritual exercise to help me internalize a truth that I already know is real, but have trouble embracing: my community loves me and wants to support me in the pursuit of my dreams.
Long story:
Asian Americans (AsAm) have a notoriously difficult time asking for help. I'm no stranger to that and neither are many of my friends who also identify as AsAm. I have a strong work ethic and a seemingly never-ending well of energy, but I also have difficulty drawing boundaries (i.e., saying no) and prioritizing my needs. Tack that onto the lived experience of being an older sister and daughter of a single mother and you get a fiercely independent go-getter who has been conditioned to hide weakness and vulnerability.
I started going to therapy at the end of 2018, where I learned that I carry significant guilt and often feel like a burden to others. Since then, I've been doing a lot of self work to unravel this toxic narrative, be kinder to myself, and get more comfortable with asking for help. I now know that there is strength in vulnerability and I'm leaning into my #BigPiscesEnergy more and more each day. It's something I try to bring to every relationship, personal and professional.
As a first step, I am asking my friends + community to help me jumpstart my creative journey. By supporting my GoFundMe, you will be gifting me the means and confidence to ask for, receive, and give more help, love, and generosity.
How can you support?
I'm turning 31 years young on March 13th! Instead of hosting a dinner / get together for my birthday, I'm asking my friends & my community to celebrate with me by investing in my dreams.
I would be so grateful for any support throughout my journey—anything from monetary love (every $1 helps!) or words of encouragement to help me combat imposter syndrome around being a creative (I'm terrible at receiving words of affirmation, but I'm working on it).
What will your money go towards?
First and foremost, I'm committed to making sure that your generosity goes to good use! I plan to put all money raised towards things that I know work for me and will nurture my inner artist. It's all based on past experience and the self work that I've done to understand what I need to thrive creatively.
1) Tuition for my first ever writing residency (April 3-5) so I can write my first creative non-fiction piece.
2) 1 year co-working membership so I can connect with, work alongside, and be inspired by other creatives (as a budding entrepreneur + scrappy freelancer, I don't have an office / workspace; I'm currently applying for a desk at a space in Brooklyn specifically for heart-forward creatives!). In full transparency, full cost ranges from $2400-5400/year, depending on which co-working space I get into, so your donations will help make it more affordable.
3) Productivity Planner to help me prioritize my creative tasks (I just used up my first planner and need a new one).
4) Self Planner Journal to help me hold space for self care and reflection, while tracking my growth.
This is just the beginning of my journey to embrace my creative power.
With your support, I'm excited to no longer allow doubt, fear of failure, or imposter syndrome get in the way of pursuing my dreams. I'm ready to free my inner artist from the shadows so she can finally breathe in the light. I strongly believe that I will emerge from this creative journey a more confident, inspired, and heart-forward leader and creative entrepreneur, one that will lovingly create beautiful and safe spaces for people to grow, find their voice, and thrive.
Special thank you to the following people who've believed in me when I had a hard time believing in myself. You gave—and continue to give—me the confidence to be the creative person I know I can be. I love and appreciate you so much:
- Felicia Liang
- Jojo Park
- Cassandra Lam
- Hailin Liu
- Tina Yip
- Vanessa Pham
- Irving Ruan
- Katerina Jeng
Organiser
Krystie Yen
Organiser
Brooklyn, NY