Kiddo and Daddy

Hi, friends.

Many of you know that we have been working very hard to get the Washington state Department of Corrections to honor existing court documents and allow Kiddo to get to visit Daddy, with myself as their supervisor. At the end of September, it will have been a full three years since Kiddo will have seen Daddy in person (he was three months and 2 days old when Daddy left). In November, it will have been three years since they've seen each other live on video. This process has been very long and exhausting, and is still ongoing.

Currently, Kiddo has been granted visitation with the "help" of a professional visit supervisor. While we are certainly glad to have some option available to allow them to see each other, the cost of visitation is quite high. Because this is not a court-ordered requirement, and because Kiddo is not in the care of the state, we are unable to receive any state assistance with these costs. At $55 per supervisor-hour, we will be quite limited in our ability to financially support this option by ourselves. This has caused us to re-evaluate our budget to have a better idea of what we can realistically afford.

Each month, we currently spend nearly $900 on food, hygiene items, and some movies and music for Daddy, phone calls, video visits (for me), and JPay stamps for emails, pictures, and short videos, plus the occasional new book or workbook for Daddy. This is already stretching our thin budget. Daddy helps where he can, however, his $28 per month job was just turned into a volunteer position, so he's currently unable to provide any help financially. (He does make beautiful jewelry, and we'd like to start an etsy shop so he can sell it, but I simply don't have the time or energy to do this, myself. If you'd like to help, please let us know. We would be extremely grateful.) The addition of nearly $500 in supervisor fees each month to maintain a consistent in-person/video relationship for them is simply not in the cards, financially.

Because of this, I am asking for your help. Currently, our family uses 5-to-6 20-min phone calls each day. Each full call costs $2.20. Usually 2-3 calls are for myself and Daddy to maintain our healthy relationship, and 2-3 calls are for Kiddo and Daddy. Usually, these Kiddo calls are used to make animal noises, tell winding stories about school events, play hide and seek, read books, and sing lullabies. It's a bit of fun. :)

We would like to ask for help in maintaining Kiddo and Daddy's relationship annually. The following is a detailed breakdown of what we are asking for:

2 Kiddo/Daddy phone calls per day@ $2.20 per phone call = $136.40 per 31day month

1 video visit per week @ $7.95 per video visit + $45 supervisor (and admin time) = $211.80 per month

1 in-person 3-hr visit each month @ $55 per hr + $55 supervisor travel time = $220

Total: $568.20 per month >> $6,818.40 per year rounded to $6,820

This is 40 min of connection per day, 5.2 hrs of connection per week, and 23.6 hrs of connection per month (less than one full day of time together each month, and fewer than 12 days a year). We are trying to be very intentional about creating space for their relationship to flourish. (What is that worth? Can you put a number on it, really? Would it be enough for you?)

I've upped it to $7,000 due to the fees that GoFundMe takes for each debit/credit card.

As you can see, this $7,000 should last us about a year. And next year, we anticipate a similar ask. This is hard, embarrassing, and upsetting. It shouldn't be this way. We want to change it for ourselves and others in the future, but for now, we must endure it.

Please help us continue to foster a healthy and beautiful relationship for Kiddo and Daddy. We appreciate so much all your love, support, and friendship. Thank you.