Help me bring my mom home and save her life

*French Translation underneath English text*

*Version Française au dessous du text Anglais*

*LATEST UPDATE - JAN. 4th*

Hello everyone!

Today marks exactly two weeks since the return of my mom to Montreal, Canada. For those of you who still did not know yet, we DID make it back home safe (and most importantly, alive in her case).

Believe me when I say that these return flights were far from fun and a walk in the park. Aside from the excessive stress that there was no way to tell with certainty that she would survive them, my mother was so weak, that she couldn't even keep herself straight on the wheelchairs. I didn't sleep the entire 16 hours of the first flight (when I had already been up for 14 hours that day), having to constantly place back her oxygen in her nose, or feeding her, etc. And I unfortunately even had to change her diaper near the end of the flight, because it was just smelling too bad in the plane.

But sparing everyone all the details of those flights, once we made it back home, she was immediately taken by an ambulance that was waiting for her at the airport, and she was transported to the Hospital Pierre-Boucher in Longueil, where she has been staying there since. As for me, now that I had "accomplished my mission" we could say, I returned home to my own family the next day on Dec. 22nd, knowing that now my mother would now be safe and will be in good hands, at home in her country.

My sister Genevieve, her husband and my mother's sisters/brothers have been keeping an eye on her since. She is receiving daily visits at the hospital, on top of her regular care, and so far she is improving slowly. She is still very far from optimal physical condition, but as an example, she currently can walk by herself (though EXTREMELY slowly and for very short distances). She is still not completely lucid, nor fully controlling her bladder/bowels movement, but things are still better from when we left South Africa.

At this time, Marie has re-did pretty much all the test they had done over there, and one positive thing that came out was that no blood cloth were detected (contrary to what the Doctors in South Africa had said). So either this was misdiagnosed or it went away with the blood thinners she was taking, but in any case, this is one thing less to worry about.

Now we are all waiting on that biopsy testing, which is (hopefully) supposed to happen this coming week. This test will determine (apparently) what my mother has exactly and the corresponding treatment that goes with it. So we are hoping for something that is treatable, not advanced in stage, and that is (best case scenario) with as less side effects as possible.

Everyone's generosity since the beginning of this story has been incredible, and again me and the family cannot thank you all enough for everything that was donated.

At this time, I decided to leave the GoFundme open, simply because even though most (not all) of the hospital costs are not an issue anymore due to the Canadian healthccare system, unfortunately my mother is still not able to work and/or do anything. Her condition simply doesn't allow it, minimally until she can start some type of treatment (which we still don't know when that will be officially).

Life being what it is with the various monthly bills, it is much more difficult for someone to come back on their feet when not being able to earn income, so anyone's support would be solely geared towards helping my mother focus on her recovery, not the stress of the incoming bills.

There is no intention to raise more than what is necessary, so targets will be in very small increments, and should more become needed as things progress, it would be adjusted consequently.

One final time, I want to thank every single one of you who supported us through this difficult situation. My mother is a fighter and the fact she survived this return trip, in the state she was in, is a testament of that. She is 70 years old and still has plenty of very good years left ahead of her, so this is not the end for her.

Will be a day where her dignity will be fully recovered, where she will be able to function completely by herself once again and be able to spend those years with her loved ones. If there is one thing I know she wants more than anything, it is to spend time with her grandaughter and seeing her grow. And of course, her granddaughter would evidently want her grandmother with her as well in her life. Your continuous support will help make this a reality.

Thank you so much from the entire family.

Much love,

Dimitri (Marie's Son)

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*UPDATE - DEC. 19th*

We did it!

Marie has the green light to leave!

My husband, Dimitri Tremblay (Marie's one and only son) is repatriating her with him from South Africa to Montreal tomorrow! They leave tomorrow and will arrive Saturday.

Marie has a long recovery ahead of her so it doesn't end here, but with all our hearts we thank you all for everything that has been done so far!!

Whether for personal messages, donations, or even just general support to ensure that Marie receives the care she needs.

Everything mentioned above (and more) to make the situation a little easier and healthier in the current circumstances has definitely not gone unnoticed by the entire family.

We will never be able to completely share our appreciation for all of this, but with all our hearts, thank you very much.

What is necessary at this point is for Dimitri to receive all your positive vibes and prayers. He is about to endure a flight of more than 20 hours with a weakened mother and needs all his attention to bring her home safe and sound and nothing else.

So, if it is possible to do this last gesture: send all the positive vibes, prayers, your good words addressed to him and her through your thoughts, so that he is not distracted from his focus on her. This is what is needed now.

Thank you all!!! :)

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*UPDATE - DEC. 17th*

Hi Everyone,

First and foremost, it is necessary for me to tell everyone who has helped so far, a huge HUGE thank you. Believe me when I say that what has been accomplished so far is relieving ENORMOUS amount of stress off the shoulders of the entire family, so we can all focus Day & Night how we will repatriate my mom. Most of us have not worked in days or are on very very minimal schedule to handle all the calls, the researching, anything that needs to be done basically, so THANK YOU SO MUCH to every single one of you, THANK YOU.

I have now been in Johannesburg, Africa since Dec. 13th and it feels like it's been weeks. I have been seeing my mom every day since I have arrived and I mostly run on adrenaline and "the rush" at the moment, having slept maybe 3-4 hours on average per night due to stress, foreign Country, working late to try and handle everything, etc.

At this time, majority of the testing have been done on my mom (Full CT Scan, Blood Tests, Head MRI, Biopsy, to name those I remember). She has a Lung Cancer, that spread up to her head, and right now there is a mass in it as well that is pushing against the brain. This was only confirmed yesterday, on the 16th, so this is very recent news. The lung is the primary location, the head is the result of the metastasis (the spread of cancer cells from their original location to other parts of the body).

My mother is still very out of it. She's on (2) Painkillers, Anti-Epileptic (due to the brain mass), a steroid called Dexamethasone and some other smaller compounds I just simply don't remember. She is still very frail as well, not able to stand by herself as far as I've observed.

The Dexamethasone was only started late yesterday (since the results of the MRI only came in earlier that day) and the Doctor told me this will help shrink the mass in the head, also reducing the swelling and the inflammation, which we are both hoping will start producing positive changes in the cognitive function of my mom. I asked how fast this would take to start acting and the Doctor said it is pretty fast, so tomorrow will be 36 hours she will have been on it. Today when I saw her it had only been about 12 hours, but even then I felt I could perceive some small changes, so tomorrow I am hoping to see more and/or more significant positive improvements.

At this time, we have arrived to a point where a very, very difficult decision will need to be taken.

The ideal scene for my mom now would be for her to fly back to Montreal through an Air Ambulance. She would be transported by medical staff, straight from the hospital to a private jet, flown directly to Montreal with no connection, and would basically receive almost identical care throughout the flight. This option is what would maximize to the fullest her chances to survive the flight back home. The two main problems with this are that 1) It cost roughly $75,000K+ (and I am being VERY conservative on this amount), and 2) My mom is not insured, so we simply cannot afford this option.

There are other options such has nurses accompanying my mom into a commercial flight, where she would be accommodate as best as possible, but from what I understood so far, these also cost incredible amount of money, like $25K+ or something. And so basically, majority of the options that are the best right now, are also the ones that are most unaffordable.

We are looking at all the options right now, but I reiterated to the family tonight that "I need to get my mom out of here". All of you who travelled to another Country I'm sure can relate: when you are in a different Country then your own, something just doesn't feel the same. Home will always be home, and this is where the family is as well. This hospital so far has treated my mom good, but it is never going to be nowhere near what hospitals in Montreal would be able to do, and even the Doctors here themselves told me it would be better as well. Their plan has always been since the beginning for my mom to get back in her home Country to be treated there.

For now they have somewhat "stabilized" her, and like I said above, we are hoping to even see an improvement with the Dexamethasone, but time is running against us as well, because they have reiterated to me multiple times that she "needs to get treated as soon as possible", referring to her Cancer. Plus, staying longer means a lot more money spent on Hospital bills and it is just a cascade of problems for my mom to stay here. Conversely, flying her back in a less optimum flight could potentially create further issues (if not being fatal), so we are kind of in a situation right now where it's going to be challenging no matter what is decided.

I am not going to ask anyone to donate on a target of $100,000 so I can fly my mom back through an Air Ambulance. I think this is unrealistic (but at the same time we are getting close to Christmas, so maybe a miracle will happen and I would be very VERY happy to be proven wrong). But for now I did raise the target a bit, to help in getting my mom the best flying option possible we can get her (and potentially help as well on other unwanted "surprises" that would arise), for default of not being able to afford the most safe & effective option (the Air Ambulance).

These are the kind of moments where you wish you would be rich, or that you would have taken that insurance you refused in the past, etc., but it is what it is and we deal with what we have now. My mother's life is what matters right now.

Once again, I am beyond grateful for everyone's generosity and kindness.

I thank you all so much, and I trully hope to bring back to all of you the good news that my mom made it back home with me, safely. In this spirit of the Holiday, this is my only wish.

Much love,

Dimitri (Marie's Son)

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DEC. 13th

Dear Lagacé/Tremblay family, Friends, and kind strangers who may find this page.

My name is Dimitri and I am the son of Marie Lagacé.

About two weeks ago ish, I received the very unfortunate news that my mom had started not doing well at all. I apologize in advance if my picture is not more "dramatic" than what it is currently showing, but that is all I have right now until I make it to my mom.

She is currently in Johanesburg, South Africa, where she has been there for almost two years completing a humanitarian project (a dream of hers she's been having since before I was even born). It was never supposed to take that long but it did, and she was FINALLY getting done with it in less than two weeks. She was then going to be back just in time for Christmas, to spend the Holidays with me, my Wife and her Grandaugther she had not seen since she was 6 months old, and then home to Canada returning to her normal activities of life. But unfortunately, this will not happen anymore.

At this precise moment, I am creating this fundraiser from the plane I am taking to go see her in emergency.

My mom's condition started deteriorating very quickly about two weeks ago. Without any warnings, she was found one morning dehydrated almost to death, after having had beyond-severe diarrhea episodes. She was taken by friends to some type of urgent care over there, and after some testing, she was put on some antibiotics and told to rest. However the condition not only continued deteriorating since, but it continued happening at an exponential rate as well. Despite being on fluids, constant monitoring, fed by others, etc., she now then started having memory loss that worsened to the point where eventually, she didn't even remember how to eat by herself. She also started losing motor skills and became very "not there" if it can be put this way. She would literally sit somewhere, stare at the wall and not even remember why she went there. She would pee on herself not even having control of her bladder. And on another instance, she was found laying down in the bathroom floor after the friend who was watching her thought she was taking too long in the bathroom.

After more visit to the urgent care and since the condition was worsening very quickly, she was then brought to the hospital, where after a full CT scan, the hospital didn't even want to admit her that night (which seemed to make no sense and added to the confusion of what is happening). Instead, the friends that brought her there were told to bring her back the next morning so they could talk with a specialist (whoever this is at the hospital). The next morning, when they went again, that specialist FINALLY gave the recommendation to admit my mom in the hospital, and she has been there by herself since, with no family member by her side, very likely not even knowing why she is there, and still with no clear idea as to what is creating such a decay in her condition in such a short amount of time. Barely two weeks ago, I had done a Facetime conversation with her and she was absolutely marvelous and glowing. Today, it is as if she doesn't know the most basic things and cannot function by herself.

I am currently flying to Johanesburg urgently to go be by her side and find out what can be done. At first we thought this was simply a severe dehydration episode. Then we thought she might be septic. But none of these diagnoses were resolving her situation, and as of now, she is still receiving multiple testing to see what her exact problem is.

She has had multiple MRI’s, CT Scans , etc. All paid for in advance in cash by my family.

Regardless of having a diagnostic soon or not, my mom hasn't even received any operations right now (or any major intensive care), and the medical costs are already adding up exponentially. Unfortunately in South Africa, the medical system is similar to the U.S., where you have to pay for everything, expect that over there you have to pay upfront otherwise they do not treat you for what they Invoice you. So just for the early scans, blood test, consults and admitting her to the hospital, it was already about $10,000 that was disbursed by the immediate family. The last minute flight I had to book in urgency was of course not the best deal either, travelling from Florida to South Africa within 24 hours after she was admitted (about $2,300 after taxes). And this is only for a one-way ticket.

At this time, the ideal plan is to repatriate my mom back to her Country in Canada, but I don't even know if her condition will allow this. I will hopefully have more information in the next coming day(s).

If I can make it back to Canada with her, she will be surrounded by her entire family, receive better care at bigger hospital that are better equipped with more competent Doctors, and cost of care will not be a problem there either. But again, this is IF I will be able to make this happen.

Every donation will make a difference. If you can’t donate, please help by sharing this page with your network. The more people who see this, the closer we get to bringing my mommy home and increase her chances of survival and pulling through whatever is happening with her and surrounding her with family and familiar faces.

I am beyond grateful for everyone's generosity and kindness, and me and the family really just want to bring our mom home, in her Country where she belongs with her loved one. Anyone who knows my mom, knows she is the sweetest person in the whole world and is the most selfess person, always putting others before herself. And just the fact this unexpected emergency happened so close for her being back home and right before the Holidays, makes this even more heartbreaking.

If there is a time for miracles, it is certainly during the Holidays, and the beautiful being that my mom is more than deserves to receive the best gift she can hope for at this time: to get her dignity back and receive the best chances to survive whatever has inflicted her, so she can be back around her loved ones and continue seeing her granddaughter grow.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this and for any help provided.

Much love,

Dimitri (Marie's Son)

*VERSION FRANÇAISE*

*DERNIÈRE MISE À JOUR - À VENIR BIENTOT!*

(Traduction à venir)

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*MISE À JOUR - DEC. 19th*

Nous avons réussi!

Marie a le feu Vert pour partir!

Mon époux, Dimitri Tremblay (seul et unique fils de Marie) l’a rapatrie avec lui de l’Afrique du Sud à Montréal demain! Ils partent demain et arriverais Samedi.

Marie a une longue convalescence devant elle donc ça ne se termine pas ici, mais de tout cœur nous vous remercions tous pour tout ce qui a été fais jusqu’à présent!!

Que ce soit pour les messages personnel, au donations, ou même un simple support général pour s’assurer que Marie reçoivent les soins dont elle a besoin.

Tout ce qui a été mentionné ci-dessus (et plus) pour rendre la situation un peu plus facile et plus saine dans les circonstances actuelle n’est définitivement pas tombé sans remarque par tout la famille.

Nous ne pourrons jamais complètement partager notre appréciation pour tout ceci ,mais de tout notre cœur, merci infiniment.

Ce qui est nécessaire à ce point-ci est que Dimitri reçoivent toute vos ondes positives et prières. Il s’apprête à endurer un vol de plus de 20 heures avec une mère affaiblie et a besoin de toute son attention pour la rapatrier saine et sauf à la maison et rien d’autres.

Donc, si il est possible de faire ce dernier geste: envoyez toute les ondes positives, prières, vos bon mots adressé à lui et elle à travers vos pensées, pour qu’il ne soit pas distrait de son focus sur elle. C’est ce qui est nécessaire à présent.

Merci à vous tous!!

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*MISE À JOUR - DEC 17th*

(Traduction pas encore faite)

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DEC. 13th

Chère famille Lagacé/Tremblay, amis et gentils étrangers qui peuvent trouver cette page.

Je m'appelle Dimitri et je suis le fils de Marie Lagacé.

Il y a environ deux semaines, j'ai reçu la très malheureuse nouvelle que ma mère avait commencé à ne pas se sentir bien du tout. Je m'excuse d'avance si ma photo n'est pas plus "dramatique" que ce qu'elle montre actuellement, mais c'est tout ce que j'ai en ce moment jusqu'à ce que je puisse enfin rejoindre ma mère.

Elle est actuellement à Johannesburg, en Afrique du Sud, où elle est là depuis près de deux ans pour réaliser un projet humanitaire (un rêve qu'elle a depuis avant même ma naissance). Cela n'était jamais censé prendre autant de temps, mais c'est le cas, et elle en avait ENFIN fini avec ce projet, ne lui restant qu’à peine deux semaines avant son retour. Elle allait alors être de retour juste à temps pour Noël afin de passer les vacances avec moi, ma femme et sa petite-fille qu'elle n'avait pas vue depuis l'âge de 6 mois, puis rentrer au Canada pour reprendre ses activités normales de la vie. Mais malheureusement, cela ne se produira pas.

En ce moment précis, je crée cette collecte de fonds à partir de l'avion que je prends pour aller la voir en cas d'urgence.

L'état de ma mère a commencé à se détériorer très rapidement il y a environ deux semaines. Sans aucun avertissement, elle a été retrouvée un matin déshydratée presque à mort, après avoir eu des épisodes de diarrhée plus que graves. Elle a été emmenée par des amis dans une sorte de soins d'urgence là-bas, et après quelques tests, on lui a prescrit des antibiotiques et on lui a dit de se reposer. Cependant, la condition a non seulement continué à se détériorer depuis, mais elle a également continué à se produire à un rythme exponentiel. Bien qu'elle était sous liquides, surveillée constante, nourrie par d'autres, etc., elle a commencé à avoir une perte de mémoire qui s'est aggravée au point où, finalement, elle ne se souvenait même pas comment manger seule. Elle a également commencé à perdre sa motricité et est devenue très "pas là" si cela peut être dit de cette façon. Elle s'asseyait littéralement quelque part, fixait le mur et ne se souvenait même pas pourquoi elle était allée là. Elle urinait sur elle-même, perdant le contrôle de sa vessie. Et dans un autre cas, elle a été retrouvée allongée sur le sol de la salle de bain après que l'amie qui la surveillait ait pensé qu'elle prenait trop de temps dans la salle de bain.

Après d'autres visites aux soins d'urgence et comme l'état s'aggravait très rapidement, elle a ensuite été emmenée à l'hôpital, où après un scanner complet, l'hôpital ne voulait même pas l'admettre cette nuit-là (ce qui ne semblait pas avoir de sens et à ajouter à la confusion de ce qui se passait). Au lieu de cela, on a dit aux amis qui l'ont emmenée là-bas de la ramener le lendemain matin afin qu'ils puissent parler à un spécialiste (qui que ce soit à l'hôpital). Le lendemain matin, quand ils sont repartis, ce spécialiste a ENFIN donné la recommandation d'admettre ma mère à l'hôpital, et elle est là toute seule depuis, sans membre de sa famille à ses côtés, ne sachant probablement même pas pourquoi elle est là, et toujours sans aucune idée claire de ce qui crée une telle décomposition dans son état en si peu de temps. Il y a à peine deux semaines, j'avais eu une conversation Facetime avec elle et elle était absolument merveilleuse et éclatante. Aujourd'hui, c'est comme si elle ne savait pas les choses les plus élémentaires et ne pouvait pas fonctionner par elle-même.

Je m'envole actuellement pour Johannesburg d'urgence pour être à ses côtés et découvrir ce qui peut être fait. Au début, nous pensions qu'il s'agissait simplement d'un épisode de déshydratation sévère. Ensuite, nous avons pensé qu'elle pourrait être septique. Mais aucun de ces diagnostics ne résolvait sa situation, et à l'heure actuelle, elle reçoit toujours plusieurs tests pour voir quel est son problème exact.

Elle a eu plusieurs IRM, scanners, etc. Tous payés à l'avance en espèces par ma famille.

Que l’on reçoive un diagnostic formel bientôt ou non, ma mère n'a pas encore reçu d'opérations jusqu’à maintenant (ou de soins intensifs majeurs), et les coûts médicaux s'additionnent déjà de façon exponentielle. Malheureusement, en Afrique du Sud, le système médical est similaire à celui des États-Unis, où vous devez tout payer, mais à la différence près que vous devez payer d'avance, sinon ils ne vous traitent pas. Donc, juste pour les premiers scanners, les tests sanguins, les consultations et l'admission à l'hôpital, c'était déjà environ 10 000 $ qui ont été déboursés par la famille immédiate. Le vol de dernière minute que j'ai dû réserver d'urgence n'était bien sûr pas non plus la meilleure affaire, voyageant de la Floride à l'Afrique du Sud dans les 24 heures suivant son admission (environ 2 300 $ après les taxes). Et ce n'est que pour un billet aller simple.

En ce moment, le plan idéal est de rapatrier ma mère dans son pays au Canada, mais je ne sais même pas si son état le permettra. J'espère avoir plus d'informations dans le ou les prochains jours.

Si je peux retourner au Canada avec elle, elle sera entourée de toute sa famille, recevra de meilleurs soins dans de plus grands hôpitaux qui sont mieux équipés de médecins plus compétents, et le coût des soins ne sera pas un problème non plus. Mais encore une fois, c'est SI je serai capable d'y arriver.

Chaque don fera une différence. Si vous ne pouvez pas faire de don, veuillez aider en partageant cette page avec votre réseau. Plus les gens voient cela, plus nous nous rapprocherons de ramener ma maman à la maison et d'augmenter ses chances de survie et de passer à travers tout ce qui se passe avec elle et de l'entourer de sa famille et de visages familiers.

Je suis plus que reconnaissant pour la générosité et la gentillesse de chacun, et moi et ma famille ne voulons que pouvoir ramener notre mère à la maison, dans son pays où elle appartient avec ses êtres chers. Quiconque connaît ma mère sait qu'elle est la personne la plus douce du monde entier et la personne la plus altruiste, faisant toujours passer les autres avant elle-même. Et le simple fait que cette urgence inattendue se soit produite si près de son retour à la maison et juste avant les vacances, rend cela encore plus déchirant.

S'il y a un moment pour les miracles, c'est certainement pendant les fêtes et le bel être que ma mère est, mérite plus que de recevoir le meilleur cadeau qu'elle puisse espérer en ce moment : retrouver sa dignité et recevoir les meilleures chances de survivre à tout ce qui lui a été infligé, afin qu'elle puisse être de retour avec ses proches et continuer à voir sa petite-fille grandir.

Merci à tous d'avoir pris le temps de lire ceci et pour toute aide fournie.

Beaucoup d'amour,

Dimitri (le fils de Marie)