Diana + Mike IVF Fund
Donation protected
If you hadn’t noticed, we don’t have any kids. It’s ok, I know it’s been super awkward for a lot of people lately. It’s like, we’re here gathered around the turkey and there’s an elephant in the room. Mike and I are in a relationship, we’re 32 and 41—is a baby next for us?
Yes. When we eloped last year, this was on our mind. We knew time was not on our side and if we were going to have fertility issues, we wanted it to be sooner than later that we could really dive in and address it. We were also acutely aware of the financial burden it would present: so, we opted to not spend money on a wedding, instead, putting it towards starting a family.
A year ago I told myself if IVF was the choice we would have to say no. We could not and cannot begin to afford it. But here we are, IVF is the only choice, and we’re just trying to figure out if we don’t have to say no.
It’s kind of awkward to know what to write here, so I guess we’ll dive in—for those of us who do and don’t know us.
Mike and I met in Colorado, where he spent most of his life, and I had moved to 3 years prior. We were together and lived in Fort Collins until late 2017 when we had an option to move to Michigan.
We took the move as a way to prepare for our own family and be closer to ours: I had brothers who were having kids I desperately wanted to be close to and Mike’s sister Lisa had been in Michigan for most of her children’s lives. We knew this would be a great place to land and have the family support we wanted as we started our own family.
In January of 2018 we pulled the goalie. I had had years of hormonal imbalance (just ask my brothers) and Mike’s accident in 2009 left him with permanent disabilities we suspected could be challenging. We did not know if we could have a child, but we joined the “TTC” community. The first 6 months were blissfully ignorant.
I was lucky enough to have found an OB who recognized our risk factors and gave us a 6-month timeline to figure it out—if we didn’t have success, she wanted us to see a specialist. I bought an Ava bracelet to track my cycles and burned through boxes of ovulation kits. In July we got our referral and began testing, in August we finally met with our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) at The Fertility Center.
Initially, our diagnosis was anovulation, PCOS, and possible male factor infertility. We were prescribed a protocol of medicated cycles combined with IUI (intrauterine insemination). We went full force into this treatment plan—it wasn’t overly invasive and required treatments with drugs like Letrozole and a shot that’s used to trigger ovulation.
We had a few cancelled cycles, because I didn’t manage to grow follicles (that’s where the egg sits) big enough. Each cycle we increased medication doses. All in all, we have spent $5k-$6k out of pocket during this initial treatment period.
Our 6-month RE anniversary rolled around (12 months total TTC) and it was time to sit back down with Mili, our RE.
Based on the data from our treatments and the response I’ve had to medications, it was recommended that IVF was the only logical and feasible way we might be able to conceive. We agreed that putting resources into IUI wasn’t a good choice anymore—IUI only manipulates the egg and ovulation, it doesn’t guarantee fertilization or implantation.
We have a 58% chance of IVF being successful.
So, that’s the long way that we got here.
Why are we asking for so much money?
This is a huge ask, of anyone. It feels like Monopoly money right now.
Our insurance does not cover anything. They told me over the phone that they will pay for the tests to determine infertility, but not for anything related to infertility treatments. They will pay for up to 3 ultrasounds + blood tests a month—during a retrieval round, you can have 10+ of those. We are estimating 1 round of IVF to cost $9,977.33—so long as we have a “normal” retrieval and are able to do a fresh transfer. If we have to freeze our embryos, there may be additional cost. The cost of drugs are estimated at $3k-$9k. Part of the large discrepancy is that at the beginning of an IVF round, I’ll be doing multiple injections per day with blood tests and ultrasounds to measure progress. There’s risk of overstimulation so we may have to slow things down or increase things, to get the timing right. I may end up needing a lot of the medications or a little—we just don’t know.
The TTC community is pretty incredible and a lot of couples end up donating/selling off their unused medications to each other on our little Instagram black market—we plan on exploring this completely and if it helps us to save a few dollars, will.
Why a GoFundMe?
We will be putting every dollar we can towards this-but we recognize that might take a few years. It’s pretty humbling to ask anybody for anything—but in the spirit of gofundme, there’s a piece of us that hopes we could go viral and if everyone put just $10 in we could come up with what we need sooner than later. I mean, we all pitch in for political campaigns, ice bucket challenges, etc, right?
One of the things we hope for is to be able to purchase a home—now, we’re looking at each other and asking what’s more important?
Doesn’t that feel really unfair?
There’s a lot of great campaigns that give you a t-shirt! I love those. I have a growing drawer of TTC/IVF fundraiser shirts—while I love that something tangible is given out, we’d rather be able to give you another kiddo to love; someone whose life you can be part of.
What about scholarships or studies?
There are “family building funds” set up both at our clinic and through charitable organizations. They cover thing from the procedures to the medications and can be in small amounts or the entire cost. We’ll be applying to any and all that we qualify for.
There are IVF studies around the country that give you treatment in exchange for participation, unfortunately none in Michigan right now. We also have enough 'issues' that we likely wouldn't qualify for a study.
I hear people go to other countries for IVF, did you think about that?
This seems to be the growing trend! I know lots of couples flying/caravanning/etc. to Europe, South America--lots of places that aren't here. They're able to get a full cycle for half of the cost. This is a great solution, the logistics of it feel really daunting, though. We've got a dog and jobs that make it difficult to be away for the amount of time it might take. Nothing is a hard no at this point- this is just a seemingly difficult solution.
Why doesn’t insurance cover any of this?
The CDC doesn’t recognize infertility as a disease—and until they do, our laws can’t compel insurance companies to cover it. Whenever you reach out to your member of congress next, it might be worthwhile to mention to them that you want to see this changed in our country. You don’t know you’re infertile until you are. 10% of Michiganders struggle in some way.
Fertility is a right, not a luxury. We’ve learned fairly quickly just which demographic is able to move forward with fertility treatments. We shouldn’t have to pay a penalty to have the same opportunity a typical couple does without trying.
Why don’t you adopt?
While that certainly is an option- it’s not the option for us.
First: there’s Ava, Bradley, Yuliya, Josie, and Saoirse. We’ve got 5 kids we get to love and watch grow up—and if that’s all we ever have, we’re pretty lucky. Mike’s got 11 grown-up nieces and nephews as well.
Second: adoption can be just as expensive as IVF and requires a lot of preparation we aren’t able to accommodate (home studies, etc). There are also great disparities in our country surrounding adoption.
We’ve learned not to rule anything out, but this is a path Diana has some ethical boundaries with and it’s just not one we want to take.
What will you do with your embryos?
Provided we are able to get enough embryos for a transfer, we will freeze any remaining embryos. Should we want to add onto our family at a later date, we can complete a transfer, in a similar, but less expensive way. We’ll keep them on ice until we feel our family is complete—at that point, our center has an embryo donation program where we can donate them to a couple who is not able to create their own embryos (for example: LGBTQ couples, single women, partners who have 1 or both who can’t contribute their own ‘materials’).
Yes. When we eloped last year, this was on our mind. We knew time was not on our side and if we were going to have fertility issues, we wanted it to be sooner than later that we could really dive in and address it. We were also acutely aware of the financial burden it would present: so, we opted to not spend money on a wedding, instead, putting it towards starting a family.
A year ago I told myself if IVF was the choice we would have to say no. We could not and cannot begin to afford it. But here we are, IVF is the only choice, and we’re just trying to figure out if we don’t have to say no.
It’s kind of awkward to know what to write here, so I guess we’ll dive in—for those of us who do and don’t know us.
Mike and I met in Colorado, where he spent most of his life, and I had moved to 3 years prior. We were together and lived in Fort Collins until late 2017 when we had an option to move to Michigan.
We took the move as a way to prepare for our own family and be closer to ours: I had brothers who were having kids I desperately wanted to be close to and Mike’s sister Lisa had been in Michigan for most of her children’s lives. We knew this would be a great place to land and have the family support we wanted as we started our own family.
In January of 2018 we pulled the goalie. I had had years of hormonal imbalance (just ask my brothers) and Mike’s accident in 2009 left him with permanent disabilities we suspected could be challenging. We did not know if we could have a child, but we joined the “TTC” community. The first 6 months were blissfully ignorant.
I was lucky enough to have found an OB who recognized our risk factors and gave us a 6-month timeline to figure it out—if we didn’t have success, she wanted us to see a specialist. I bought an Ava bracelet to track my cycles and burned through boxes of ovulation kits. In July we got our referral and began testing, in August we finally met with our RE (reproductive endocrinologist) at The Fertility Center.
Initially, our diagnosis was anovulation, PCOS, and possible male factor infertility. We were prescribed a protocol of medicated cycles combined with IUI (intrauterine insemination). We went full force into this treatment plan—it wasn’t overly invasive and required treatments with drugs like Letrozole and a shot that’s used to trigger ovulation.
We had a few cancelled cycles, because I didn’t manage to grow follicles (that’s where the egg sits) big enough. Each cycle we increased medication doses. All in all, we have spent $5k-$6k out of pocket during this initial treatment period.
Our 6-month RE anniversary rolled around (12 months total TTC) and it was time to sit back down with Mili, our RE.
Based on the data from our treatments and the response I’ve had to medications, it was recommended that IVF was the only logical and feasible way we might be able to conceive. We agreed that putting resources into IUI wasn’t a good choice anymore—IUI only manipulates the egg and ovulation, it doesn’t guarantee fertilization or implantation.
We have a 58% chance of IVF being successful.
So, that’s the long way that we got here.
Why are we asking for so much money?
This is a huge ask, of anyone. It feels like Monopoly money right now.
Our insurance does not cover anything. They told me over the phone that they will pay for the tests to determine infertility, but not for anything related to infertility treatments. They will pay for up to 3 ultrasounds + blood tests a month—during a retrieval round, you can have 10+ of those. We are estimating 1 round of IVF to cost $9,977.33—so long as we have a “normal” retrieval and are able to do a fresh transfer. If we have to freeze our embryos, there may be additional cost. The cost of drugs are estimated at $3k-$9k. Part of the large discrepancy is that at the beginning of an IVF round, I’ll be doing multiple injections per day with blood tests and ultrasounds to measure progress. There’s risk of overstimulation so we may have to slow things down or increase things, to get the timing right. I may end up needing a lot of the medications or a little—we just don’t know.
The TTC community is pretty incredible and a lot of couples end up donating/selling off their unused medications to each other on our little Instagram black market—we plan on exploring this completely and if it helps us to save a few dollars, will.
Why a GoFundMe?
We will be putting every dollar we can towards this-but we recognize that might take a few years. It’s pretty humbling to ask anybody for anything—but in the spirit of gofundme, there’s a piece of us that hopes we could go viral and if everyone put just $10 in we could come up with what we need sooner than later. I mean, we all pitch in for political campaigns, ice bucket challenges, etc, right?
One of the things we hope for is to be able to purchase a home—now, we’re looking at each other and asking what’s more important?
Doesn’t that feel really unfair?
There’s a lot of great campaigns that give you a t-shirt! I love those. I have a growing drawer of TTC/IVF fundraiser shirts—while I love that something tangible is given out, we’d rather be able to give you another kiddo to love; someone whose life you can be part of.
What about scholarships or studies?
There are “family building funds” set up both at our clinic and through charitable organizations. They cover thing from the procedures to the medications and can be in small amounts or the entire cost. We’ll be applying to any and all that we qualify for.
There are IVF studies around the country that give you treatment in exchange for participation, unfortunately none in Michigan right now. We also have enough 'issues' that we likely wouldn't qualify for a study.
I hear people go to other countries for IVF, did you think about that?
This seems to be the growing trend! I know lots of couples flying/caravanning/etc. to Europe, South America--lots of places that aren't here. They're able to get a full cycle for half of the cost. This is a great solution, the logistics of it feel really daunting, though. We've got a dog and jobs that make it difficult to be away for the amount of time it might take. Nothing is a hard no at this point- this is just a seemingly difficult solution.
Why doesn’t insurance cover any of this?
The CDC doesn’t recognize infertility as a disease—and until they do, our laws can’t compel insurance companies to cover it. Whenever you reach out to your member of congress next, it might be worthwhile to mention to them that you want to see this changed in our country. You don’t know you’re infertile until you are. 10% of Michiganders struggle in some way.
Fertility is a right, not a luxury. We’ve learned fairly quickly just which demographic is able to move forward with fertility treatments. We shouldn’t have to pay a penalty to have the same opportunity a typical couple does without trying.
Why don’t you adopt?
While that certainly is an option- it’s not the option for us.
First: there’s Ava, Bradley, Yuliya, Josie, and Saoirse. We’ve got 5 kids we get to love and watch grow up—and if that’s all we ever have, we’re pretty lucky. Mike’s got 11 grown-up nieces and nephews as well.
Second: adoption can be just as expensive as IVF and requires a lot of preparation we aren’t able to accommodate (home studies, etc). There are also great disparities in our country surrounding adoption.
We’ve learned not to rule anything out, but this is a path Diana has some ethical boundaries with and it’s just not one we want to take.
What will you do with your embryos?
Provided we are able to get enough embryos for a transfer, we will freeze any remaining embryos. Should we want to add onto our family at a later date, we can complete a transfer, in a similar, but less expensive way. We’ll keep them on ice until we feel our family is complete—at that point, our center has an embryo donation program where we can donate them to a couple who is not able to create their own embryos (for example: LGBTQ couples, single women, partners who have 1 or both who can’t contribute their own ‘materials’).
Co-organisers (2)
Diana Wallace
Organiser
Grand Rapids, MI
Michael Wallace
Co-organiser