Ana Paula "Gougz" Almeida De Sousa Kitterhing

TW/CW: Violence, Murder

My dear beloved community,

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. In honour of the genuine essence my mother embodied, I want to share her story and ask for your love and support during this horrendously difficult time.

On Sunday, October 15th, my mother was taken from me – from us. She was murdered.

My mother, Ana Paula or “Gougz” as most of us fondly knew her as, was a force of nature. She was kind, fierce, generous, funny, passionate, and so much more. I am enraged and confused as to how anyone could cut her life short, but in honour of her memory, I am trying to focus on the incredible memories shared, the laughs, tears, music and food; the culture, community, and love that she provided.

Gougz was born in Lubito, Angola in 1966. She was forced to move to Portugal at the age of 13 with her mother (Fernanda) and father (Fernando), as well as her 3 younger siblings. My mother, as the oldest sibling, always took pride in ensuring the care and safety of her 2 younger brothers Nelinho & Jorge, and younger sister, Iris.

At the age of 17, my mother started travelling around Europe and lived in Italy, France, and eventually finding herself in England with her little brother Jorge. Over the course of her travels, my mother learned multiple languages including Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, and English. She once told me that she learned English by watching British soap operas and reading the paper, or more specifically the astrology section. She lived in Camden Town around the corner from where we now find the Amy Winehouse statue. After several years in England, she found herself serving at a fancy coffee shop in the West – End of London where she met my father, Harry.

Harry and my mother shared a deep love so she moved to Canada in 1993. While she initially struggled with adjusting to this new place, she managed, as she always managed. She became a loving member of Harry’s family including his two kids, Sabina & David. She brought a happy-go-lucky attitude that was irresistible. As I’ve been made aware countless times, it was literally impossible not to love her.

3 short years later, my mother had me.

I know that I was the love her of life. We were best friends, confidants, and dance partners. We spent our Saturdays cleaning our apartment and scream-singing everything from Pavarotti to Destiny’s Child. Every single evening, she made the time to cook me one of her amazing dishes.

Our household was filled with love. Aunties & uncles were in constant rotation, coming in and out to experience and share the love and comfort my mother consistently provided.

If I continued year by year, this would quickly become a novel. I just wanted to offer all of you some understanding of the magic my mother left in this world.

Today… this week… forever… we mourn the loss of an incredible human. A resilient, powerful, complicated woman. A woman who was like no other.

I am my mother’s only child. She stayed in Toronto for me, to remind me that I would never be left alone and that I could always be in Mama’s arms when I needed. She was my mother, through and through.

The funeral services will be held on Saturday, November 4th. I will update this page when I know the exact time it will commence.

The costs for the services are roughly $10,000.

I am asking anyone who can contribute to please do so. Any amount would be extremely helpful.

I would also like to take a moment here to express my sincerest thanks for the support and care so generously given by so many of you. My heart is yours, and once again in honour of Gougz, I will always love you all fiercely.

I know this is a grave loss for so many and I hope that we can hold her memory close and find solace in one another.

In dedication of my mother’s passionate stance against domestic violence, any additional donations that surpass our goal will be promptly donated to an organization aiding in the fight against the brutality of gender-based violence.

If anyone would like to speak to me or for further information, you are welcome to reach out to me via social media or by email: [email redacted].