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In Memory of Tyler Lumar

$8,316 of $20,000 goal

Raised by 176 people in 13 months
Created April 20, 2018
Hi, I am Taylor Tencate, Tyler's daughter's Aunt, and Tyler's friend.  I am writing this post because many people have been so kind to ask what they can do to help Tyler’s family.  We have set up this page for anyone that wants to make a gift.  All donations will go to Casey Tencate, my sister and Tyler's daughters mother, for funeral costs and to support his 5-year-old daughter, Savannah.  Nothing will ever be able to replace Tyler but we are trying to help ease the burden for his family. What happened to Tyler was completely avoidable and this should have never happened. Link to Oak Park Article      Tyler’s daughter is left without a father.  His mother without a son.  His sister without a brother.  This world has lost a fun, loving, amazing man with so much to live for because our system is broken.   Link to Oak Park Article    Link to Tyler's story in the hospital ‌ Tyler’s Story:  For those of you that don’t know, in August of 2016 Tyler Lumar fell victim to a broken system which ultimately caused him to lose his life.  He has left behind an amazing 5-year-old daughter, family, and friends.  Tyler was a kind, caring, charismatic young man, with a smile that could light up the whole world.  The love he had for his daughter was deep and never-ending.   August 18, 2016, his life was changed forever at the age of 22.  He was picked up by Chicago police due to a warrant for a $25 payment for a 2015 traffic case.  The fine had been paid.  However, Chicago police placed an extradition hold on him and although he had $130 on him they did not allow him to post the $50 bond.  Tyler was scheduled for a bond hearing the following day, August 19th, however, he never made it to the hearing and instead wound up in the hospital in the intensive care unit and no charges were filed.   The hours spent in police custody were horrifying for Tyler:   - He was arrested due to an outdated warrant, for a traffic fine that had already been paid (he showed proof of payment to the officers) - Documents were falsified stating bond information was unavailable, even though he could have posted $50 to be released  (he had $130 on him) - He was searched at least 8 times and nothing was found on him - He was transported to the hospital in the middle of the night for treatments for severe asthma, a condition he suffered from his entire life (his family was not informed) - He was brought back to the station and placed in a cell with other inmates - There is video surveillance of another inmate tossing crack cocaine near him which officers pinned on Tyler - He was transported to another district facing narcotic charges, despite 8 previous searches finding nothing - He was found unconscious in his cell and transported to the hospital (no video of what happened to him) - His hospital room was guarded by Chicago police for hours not allowing loved ones to see him  - Once the severity of his injuries was realized, all charges were dropped and Tyler was left to spend the remaining 20 months of his life in a hospital bed unable to communicate with his loved ones   He lost his fight for his life on April 18, 2018, just 24 years old.  The events that took place while in police custody were completely avoidable.  The system should have been updated and there should have never been a warrant for his arrest.  Tyler had the right to post bond and should have never been held overnight.  The complete disrespect for his life is heartbreaking.   We are so grateful for the love and support we have received over the past 2 years and want to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts.  Tyler will live on forever through his daughter and will be carried in our hearts.  #TylerTough #TylerLumar #KeepFighting #JusticeForTyler Thank you, Taylor & Emma (Savannah's Aunts and Tyler's Friends)     
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Tyler's case will be moving forward!
Although I am happy with the fact that the case was not dismissed I am NOT happy that this case even exists in the first place. Ultimately this is what needs to happen to receive justice for Tyler and we are so grateful for all of your support to help us achieve this small victory! Unfortunatley, Tyler is unable to fight for himself so we will fight for him!

Below is Casey's recent facebook post in regards to Tyler's case.

"Hey everyone this article has a little bit of an update on Tyler’s case. God is good and justice will be served. “Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.” Hebrews 11:1


http://mobile.oakpark.com/News/Articles/8-7-2018/Tyler-Lumar-case-advances-/ "

Show your continued support on August 19th by wearing your Tyler Tough swag and posting on social media with the hashtag #Justice4TylerLumar

Tyler's fight is not over - this is just the beginning!

#Justice4TylerLumar
#TylerLumar
#TylerTough

Love,
Taylor
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Hi Everyone!

We have added additional Tyler Tough items to the Tyler Tough store. If you would like to purchase an item please visit the link below.

https://stores.inksoft.com/tylertough/shop/home

Show your love and support by wearing his name on your chest (t-shirts and sweatshirts), OVER YOUR HEART (1/4 zips), or on your head (hat)! Keep his story alive - if someone asks what "Tyler Tough" means you can share his story.

11 DAYS to order in time to receive items by August 19th (the day 2 years ago Tyler Lumar's and many others lives changed forever). Feel free to get an item and post a picture of you in it on August 19th with the hashtags - #justice4tylerlumar #tylerlumar #tylertough

Let's see how many people we can get spreading the #TylerTough love!

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTINUED LOVE AND SUPPORT :)

Much love,
Taylor
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“Time Heals All Wounds”

This saying has always made me a little angry. Why do people think to say something along the lines of “give it time” like that will make things better? Trust me, I know there is nothing anyone can say to make things better and people are just saying anything they can that they think will make someone feel better. They are just trying to be nice and we can’t hold that against them.

Over time this saying has started to make more sense to me.

When I was in 5th grade I cut my finger off (my right index finger). It was not fully cut off; it was hanging by the skin. If I had a picture I would share it but I don’t. I had been running around the house with a knife playing “scary movie” and my sister, Casey, pulled the knife out of my hand. I was holding it by the blade (yikes!). Luckily, they were able to sew my finger back on and I have all 10 fingers. Over time my finger healed and they were able to remove the stitches and I could use it like nothing ever happened.

Time heals all wounds….right? Yes, technically my finger had healed. I was able to use it like normal and if anyone looks at my hand they wouldn’t be able to tell at one point my finger was hanging on by the skin. Although my finger was healed I have a scar I will live with forever. It isn’t noticeable unless I point it out. It looks like a normal crease on my finger but if I compare it to my other fingers you can tell it is a scar and it doesn’t belong. Every couple months I randomly have a tingling sensation all over that finger as a constant reminder of what happened.

I have come to learn that the saying “time heals all wounds” doesn’t mean things will go back to normal and it doesn’t even mean you will fully be healed. You will live forever with the scars, sometimes not physically noticeable, and you will always have constant reminders (a tingle in your finger) of what you are healing from. It takes time. For some, the time will be shorter. For others, time will be longer. It is different for everyone and we can’t rush the healing process.

We are all “healing” from the loss of Tyler. It isn’t a physical wound that people will be able to look at and say “oh yeah I see the scar.” It is a scar in our hearts. As time goes on we will heal but we will forever live with the scar and we will forever have a tingling sensation reminding us of Tyler.

I think the saying should be “time heals all wounds but you may end up with a scar and your life will never be the same even once you heal” but that might be a little too long of a saying to catch on.

Tyler will forever be in our hearts and most of us will be scarred for life because Tyler is gone and because of what happened to Tyler. But we will continue to live life to the fullest and find the joy in life. The loss of Tyler (of anyone) is hard but we must live on even if that means living with a few more scars.

The case against the Chicago police and getting Tyler the justice he deserves is part of the healing process.

We cannot allow them to drop the case. I was told the best way we can prevent that is by sharing Tyler’s story. I will continue to share his story and we will all continue to heal. Please help us by continuing to share his story!

Thank you again so much for all the love and support and help in our fight for justice for Tyler. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (I know I ramble)!

Be kind to everyone because you don’t know what type of scars they have that you cannot see.

#TylerLumar #Justice4TylerLumar #TylerTough #KeepFighting #KeepSharing

Love,
Taylor

http://www.oakpark.com/News/Articles/4-24-2018/'A-civil-and-moral-tragedy'/

http://www.oakpark.com/Community/Blogs/4-27-2018/A-vigil-for-Tyler-Lumar/


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Tomorrow marks ONE MONTH and TWENTY-ONE MONTHS.

It has been one month since Tyler left this world. One month of continued unanswered questions and navigating grief. Our grief didn’t start one month ago. Our grief started twenty-one months ago when Tyler first got hurt.

Grief has many stages.

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Everyone handles grief differently and goes through the stages at their own pace. I don’t believe that the stages go in a certain order. I believe you can feel multiple stages at once and you can go through them at any time of the process. I also believe that even though you may be able to handle the emotions better as time goes on that the grief never really goes away and at any moment the deep sorrow and anger can resurface. For me, I find that that happens most late at night or when I am alone in my car. Anyone else car cry? The most random things can spark the memories and the grief, a song that reminds you of the person you lost, the smell of the shampoo they used, a Timehop memory popping up on your phone, a similar situation happening to someone else (when will it stop? What can we do to make it stop?).

Everyone is dealing with all sorts of grief and loss. Learning to navigate this specific grief has been extremely difficult. Not only is Tyler gone but we still don’t have answers about what happened to Tyler. Even when we do have answers it will never make it right.

The hardest thing for me is knowing that this deep sadness and ache will never go away because Tyler will never walk this earth again and Savannah will forever be left without her father. I keep asking myself “how do we accept this? How is that even possible?” and the only thing I can think of is by getting Tyler the justice he deserves. But even then, this is something I do not believe I will ever be able to accept. Yes, I understand he is gone and will never come back but I can’t accept what happened to him. I can’t accept that this continues to happen to other people. Can you?

Navigating grief is hard. I sometimes wonder what the purpose of all my posts are (is anyone even read them? Probably just my family…Hey Mom, Dad, Caitlin, Emma and Casey!) and I have come to realize that part of the reason for my posts is to help me manage the grief I am dealing with. Regardless who is reading them it somehow makes me feel slightly better. The main reason I am posting is to hopefully shed some light on Tyler’s story and to show that his fight is not over.

What happened to Tyler didn’t just happen to Tyler. Yes, he is the one that lost his life and that shatters my heart into a million pieces but what happened to Tyler also happened to Lisa, Casey, Savannah, Paige, and all of us that know and love Tyler. We are left here to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of all of it. It will never make sense.

When I think about the day sweet, innocent, silly, crazy, and sassy Savannah will start to learn and understand the truth of what happened to her Daddy my heart breaks even further into a billion pieces. Why is that something that Casey will have to explain to her? My heart will forever have a permanent hole and nothing will ever fill the hole. I dread the day that Casey has to answer questions that will shatter Savannah’s innocence and I PRAY it does not cause her pure heart to harden. I pray that she does not become bitter and resentful. In my heart, I know she won’t. I know she will see her Mom’s strength and that will help guide her through all of this. But, back to acceptance, is this something any of us will ever be able to accept? My guess is no. We will carry this with us forever. Does that mean we won’t enjoy life? Of course not. We must continue to love and enjoy life and smile for Tyler.

Navigating grief is hard. Learning to live in this world without Tyler is hard and that process started a long time ago. Twenty-one months ago. One thing that Casey said right after Tyler passed away was “we were just starting to accept the condition Tyler was in.” This made my heart ache. For those of you that don’t know, Tyler spent twenty months in hospitals and rehab facilities (if you are reading this I assume you do know). He was not alone. Casey and Lisa were with him every step of the way. They never gave up on Tyler and they never will. No one wants to spend their days sitting in a hospital or rehab facility but Tyler was there so they were there and many others were too. We say “Tyler Tough” to represent Tyler’s fight for life and fight for justice but it also represents how extremely strong Lisa and Casey have been through all of this. They are truly TYLER TOUGH!

If you didn’t have a chance to visit Tyler after his injury then you may not know that Tyler was aware. He was unable to speak or walk or move much but he was with us. He is SO lucky to have his Mother and Soulmate by his side through all of this and now he is forever in their hearts. I have been in awe of them throughout this whole process and their strength has truly helped and inspired me. You both are AMAZING!

I always prayed that Tyler would recover and be able to tell his story. I so badly want to know the truth. The truth died with Tyler and now I pray he received the justice he deserves. I hope more truth comes out about what really happened. I truly do not believe the story we were told. From the very beginning, the story changed multiple times. The police were unwilling to give Lisa and Casey straight answers and tried to hide the fact that Tyler spent the night in the hospital for severe asthma and spent time in more than one police district. Their story kept changing and they refused to release his personal possessions to his mother. She was told that because he was an adult they could only release them to him…..um what? He suffered a SEVERE brain injury and was unable to walk over the police station and sign out his possessions….did they really think he would be able to do that?? When Tyler was booked he was reported to have $130 cash, a gold chain, his cell phone, and was wearing shorts and a shirt (the shirt was supposedly used to hang himself in his cell). It took them over a week to release these things to his mother. They never released the shirt….why? Will we ever know the truth? Will we ever be able to accept this? No. How could we?

There are so many unanswered questions.

For now, I will end my rambling and just end this with another THANK YOU! From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. Each and every one of you has truly helped. This will never be easy but the love and support has been so amazing.

Nothing we do will bring Tyler back. Nothing we do will make the grief go away. Nothing can fill the Tyler sized holes in our hearts. But we can continue to love and support Casey, Savannah, Lisa, and Paige as they navigate life without Tyler and try to help them make it through the grief. We must never forget Tyler and we must never stop fighting for the justice he deserves.

Please continue to share Tyler’s story whether you share an article or talk about his story to a friend.

Thank you again!!!

#TylerTough #Justice4TylerLumar #TylerLumar #KeepFighting

Love,
Taylor
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$8,316 of $20,000 goal

Raised by 176 people in 13 months
Created April 20, 2018
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