From Jen
10-25-26 PART 1:
Hi Everyone,
It’s time for another update. Sorry if some groups are getting more posts than others; just depends on how much energy I have to be able to get them to all of the sites. This is quite a long post; I don’t have a lot of time to write so trying to put everything in when I can.
Every day has become a roller coaster ride of emotions. I wish we had as many good days as not, it certainly doesn’t feel balanced. Kiara ended 5 days of radiation on Oct. 6 and it has just knocked her down energy wise. She has been so exhausted, the kind of exhaustion where sleep doesn’t help. I hear this can go on for weeks, if not months. The radiation was to help with pain in her low back, left hip, left pelvis, and left knee. It has for the most part. But the day after she finished, the right leg started really hurting; she has a tumor in the muscles by the original site in her right fibula. It’s just weird how she didn’t have much pain in that leg, it was the strong leg while the left knee was hurting. Now, it’s very hard for her to put wait on it and causing walking issues. So, there really wasn’t a single day after radiation where she could enjoy the freedom of know pain. And then add the exhaustion on top of it.
It’s hard to know if she’s just tired, or if there’s depression mixed in with it, or what exactly is going on. I know she’s voiced recently the feeling of isolation from her friends, her school, her “normal” life. She’s only seen a couple of friends over the past 3 months, except for going into her middle school to have lunch at the end of September. I think she just doesn’t know what to talk about; she’s missing the shared experiences of her piers, and they can’t understand what she’s going through. Only about 250 kids a year are diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma. She hasn’t met anyone her age with the same condition. I’m trying to reach out online to see if there’s someone out there going through the same thing. I may have found someone who’s 16 years old in Missouri who might be interested in reaching out.
I think the isolation is probably something that those going through a serious illness face along with their loved ones. I know that I’m having a very hard time. The only peace I feel is when I am sleeping. Doing “normal” things that I usually enjoy, have little joy now. I feel like I have nothing else to talk about accept her medical condition and the things we’re looking in to to try to help. I don’t know how to relate to the world around me right now. Little things that seemed important before, just don’t matter as much. And this is really hard because we still have Victoria who is trying to have a normal life, going to school, wanting to have playdates, and go to the park, and do all of the things an 8 year old wants to do.
Kiara was supposed to start her next round of chemo on Oct. 15, but her blood counts have been too low, probably do to radiation. We will try again tomorrow. I’m just worried because this is the longest she hasn’t had chemo since she started treatments back in Dec.
I do want to mention that she did have a good day on Thursday. For whatever reason, she woke up in the morning, and didn’t say she was tired! She actually wanted to get up at 9:30 am., and come down stairs. She said she wasn’t in much pain all day. We went to the hospital to check on chemo, and she engaged with the hospital staff. We went to the Fred Meyer’s afterwards, and she drove around one of the electric carts. The cart’s battery died, and she walked a little bit at the store, more than she’s walked in awhile. She just sounded like herself that day.
That night, she opened a surprise present from aunt Sil; an autographed book by Dana Terace, creator of her favorite show “The Owl House.” Sil had us send a picture of Kiara in her “Owl House” shirt, and she also brought that to the book signing in Los Angeles. Dana signed Kiara’s picture, the book, and made a short video for her. Kiara was so excited to receive all of this. She had found out about Dana’s book coming out several months ago and preordered it. I had promised her that we would go to the book signing in CA because she was supposed to be done with treatment. I was sad I couldn’t make that happen this time, but greatful to Sil for going in her place.
The interesting thing about Thursday is that I know that Sil’s friends in Brazil were having a healing ceremony for Kiara that day, and that a couple of churches in Seattle were actively praying for her that day; plus everyone elses prayers and healing wishes. Did all of this healing energy directed at her that day help her have a good day? I think so. I wish this could happen every day.
The other thing that’s been going on is our crazy ventures into the medical trial world. We’ve been trying to figure out how to navigate this world, but it seems to be like the “wild west.” We have been trying to get her into a trial called Steap 1. It’s located in 8 hospitals in the US. We told our doctor at the end of August that we would go to any of the locations but our preference would be LA because we have family there. He started asking at Cedars Sinai if they had openings. Their trial was on hold for some sort of review, and their process is that you have to have a second opinion appointment with them before you can get on their waiting list. To get this second opinion, our doctors had to send all of her records. Then we had to do hours of paperwork rewriting everything that is in her records. Then the records team from Cedars had to call us for a meeting. Then they sent more paperwork. After that was filled out, we got to have a phone consultation with a nurse to go over her records. Then it got passed on to the doctors team for review. A couple of weeks later we got to set up the appointment for our virtual appointment which is for this upcoming Tuesday. This process took over 7 weeks! It’s maddening how slow the medical world moves when you have an aggressive disease.
So 2 weeks ago, I was online and saw a post that the Steap 1 trial was open again. We were so excited! It was on a Sunday, so we called the hospital to get a message to Kiara’s doctor to let him know. Then we looked up the government site to see all the locations of the trial so we could contact them. It listed the locations, but not the contact info. It said to call the drug company sponsoring the trial. We had to wait until the next day. We called and they only had contact info for 3 of the sites. They said they normally only give out the info for 2 sites so everyone can have an opportunity to contact a place, but since we only had the 3 options, they gave us all 3. In writing to these hospitals, it became obvious that the info was incorrect or out of date. We had to try to track down trial coordinators in other ways. Then it became apparent that each hospital does things in different ways. Some you have to have a second opinion before they’ll put you on their wait list. Some you can do virtually, some you have to do in person. Others will put you on their list, and then if you get called, you can do the second opinion. Others won’t talk to you because your insurance is from out of state. You have to register as a patient at each institution, getting a My Chart account for each place. I was also getting mixed info saying that there was a national list for the trial, and other places said we could get on their list.