Michael's Surgery
Donation protected
On January 5th, 2015 I weighed 324 pounds. I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of everyone making fun of me for my weight. I was tired of not being able to do normal activities, or things that thin people could do. I wanted a change for my health, and for me.
On that day, I went cold turkey. I stopped eating junk food, fast food, and stopped drinking soda. I started to barely eat anything, and all I would have are rice cakes, and chicken. I counted calories like nobody's business. My suggested calorie intake per day should have been 2,000 calories, but I reduced that to less than 500 calories a day. I even counted a stick of gum as calories.
Everyday, I would step on the weight, and I would see that I would lose about 2 pounds a day. I was excited. Finally, after 15 years of being this obese monster I was going to change. I allowed myself one cheat day every month to give myself a little slack. If I didn't see a decrease in weight on the scale, I would hate myself for gaining that little weight back, and I would punish myself by not eating anything that day.
Not eating anything wasn't a hard task to do. I already ate very little so it didn't bother me to stop completely. I would go about 3 days without eating, then I would binge eat.
During the summer of 2015 I lost about 80 pounds. I wasn't going to stop unitl I reached at least 180 pounds. Because of the rapid weight loss, I developed a severe case of heart burn. Heart burn stopped me from eating unhealthy food like pizza, pasta, spicy foods, garlic bread, etc... So now I really didn't have a need to eat since all I could have were things like bread. Eventually, I got my heart burn fixed thanks to pills, but the doctor found out that I have gall stones caused by the weight loss. So now, I need to get my gall bladder taken out, but that's not the issue right now.
Fast forward to the end of 2015. I have lost 150 pounds in 1 year. I was ecstatic, but my mission to lose more weight wasn't over. 2016 came, and I decided to join a gym, and get into shape. Things were going well, but not really. Yes, I was going to the gym, and feeling more confident because of the weight loss, but I wasn't healthy mentally.
I thought losing weight would solve all my problems, but it only caused more. I started to hate myself throughout my weight loss in order to motivate myself to lose the weight. I developed severe body image issues, and I never think that I'm good enough for anyone, or anything. I let my weight consume me until I became anorexic.
I know that anorexia is bad, and I shouldn't do it, but I couldn't control it. I didn't understand. I know it's bad, but I still do it. Prom came along in April of 2016, and that night I got food poisoning. I threw up all that night. When I weighed myself in the morning I saw that I lost 4 pounds. I thought that I just found a new way to lose more weight. I'll just make myself throw up to lose weight even faster.
My weekly routine was basically: don't eat one day, eat, trhow up that night, don't eat anything the next day, and so on. I continued to repeat this throughout all of 2016. At the end of that year, I weighed 165 pounds. Everyone told me that I looked skinny, and that I should be proud of myself, but I didn't beleive. You see, even though I lost the weight I didn't feel like I did.
I had all this loose, saggy, extra skin from my rapid weight loss. The skin just hangs over my body like taffy. I should be proud , and aware that I lost all this weight. I should be excited that I look skinny, and my friends do too, but this extra skin is like I am wearing a shell of my former self. I can't see the change myself because the skin is still there.
My doctor told me that no amount of exercise, or weight loss would get rid of all my extra skin. The only option was plastic surgery. Next, I went to the plastic surgeon who examined my body like a piece of meat. He said I was an excellent candidate for an adominoplasty. An adominoplasty is basically a tummy tuck. This surgery would get rid of the huge lump of skin in around my abdomen, and remove the love handles on the side. The problem is that the surgery is $6,000, and insurance doesn't cover any of that.
The immense self hate that I put on myself because of this loose skin is getting out of hand. I'm not afraid to admit that I considered ways to make my life a little shorter. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone until I'm ready to be who I am, but that won't happen because the skin is holding me back. The skin won't let me let go of the past. My own baggage that looks like a plastic bag.
So now I'm anorexic, bulimic, have pools of extra skin, and in need of a surgery that can change my life. I know that starving myself, and making myself throw up isn't healthy, but I can't seem to stop doing it because the skin is preventing me. The extra skin tricks me into thinking that I am still an obese monster. I knoiw that getting this surgery is my only option if I want to improve my quality of life, and stop hurting the people that mean the most to me. This surgery is my next step to getting rid of my mental diseases. Thank you for any, and all for taking the time to read this overly long statement. I appreciate any help.
On that day, I went cold turkey. I stopped eating junk food, fast food, and stopped drinking soda. I started to barely eat anything, and all I would have are rice cakes, and chicken. I counted calories like nobody's business. My suggested calorie intake per day should have been 2,000 calories, but I reduced that to less than 500 calories a day. I even counted a stick of gum as calories.
Everyday, I would step on the weight, and I would see that I would lose about 2 pounds a day. I was excited. Finally, after 15 years of being this obese monster I was going to change. I allowed myself one cheat day every month to give myself a little slack. If I didn't see a decrease in weight on the scale, I would hate myself for gaining that little weight back, and I would punish myself by not eating anything that day.
Not eating anything wasn't a hard task to do. I already ate very little so it didn't bother me to stop completely. I would go about 3 days without eating, then I would binge eat.
During the summer of 2015 I lost about 80 pounds. I wasn't going to stop unitl I reached at least 180 pounds. Because of the rapid weight loss, I developed a severe case of heart burn. Heart burn stopped me from eating unhealthy food like pizza, pasta, spicy foods, garlic bread, etc... So now I really didn't have a need to eat since all I could have were things like bread. Eventually, I got my heart burn fixed thanks to pills, but the doctor found out that I have gall stones caused by the weight loss. So now, I need to get my gall bladder taken out, but that's not the issue right now.
Fast forward to the end of 2015. I have lost 150 pounds in 1 year. I was ecstatic, but my mission to lose more weight wasn't over. 2016 came, and I decided to join a gym, and get into shape. Things were going well, but not really. Yes, I was going to the gym, and feeling more confident because of the weight loss, but I wasn't healthy mentally.
I thought losing weight would solve all my problems, but it only caused more. I started to hate myself throughout my weight loss in order to motivate myself to lose the weight. I developed severe body image issues, and I never think that I'm good enough for anyone, or anything. I let my weight consume me until I became anorexic.
I know that anorexia is bad, and I shouldn't do it, but I couldn't control it. I didn't understand. I know it's bad, but I still do it. Prom came along in April of 2016, and that night I got food poisoning. I threw up all that night. When I weighed myself in the morning I saw that I lost 4 pounds. I thought that I just found a new way to lose more weight. I'll just make myself throw up to lose weight even faster.
My weekly routine was basically: don't eat one day, eat, trhow up that night, don't eat anything the next day, and so on. I continued to repeat this throughout all of 2016. At the end of that year, I weighed 165 pounds. Everyone told me that I looked skinny, and that I should be proud of myself, but I didn't beleive. You see, even though I lost the weight I didn't feel like I did.
I had all this loose, saggy, extra skin from my rapid weight loss. The skin just hangs over my body like taffy. I should be proud , and aware that I lost all this weight. I should be excited that I look skinny, and my friends do too, but this extra skin is like I am wearing a shell of my former self. I can't see the change myself because the skin is still there.
My doctor told me that no amount of exercise, or weight loss would get rid of all my extra skin. The only option was plastic surgery. Next, I went to the plastic surgeon who examined my body like a piece of meat. He said I was an excellent candidate for an adominoplasty. An adominoplasty is basically a tummy tuck. This surgery would get rid of the huge lump of skin in around my abdomen, and remove the love handles on the side. The problem is that the surgery is $6,000, and insurance doesn't cover any of that.
The immense self hate that I put on myself because of this loose skin is getting out of hand. I'm not afraid to admit that I considered ways to make my life a little shorter. I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone until I'm ready to be who I am, but that won't happen because the skin is holding me back. The skin won't let me let go of the past. My own baggage that looks like a plastic bag.
So now I'm anorexic, bulimic, have pools of extra skin, and in need of a surgery that can change my life. I know that starving myself, and making myself throw up isn't healthy, but I can't seem to stop doing it because the skin is preventing me. The extra skin tricks me into thinking that I am still an obese monster. I knoiw that getting this surgery is my only option if I want to improve my quality of life, and stop hurting the people that mean the most to me. This surgery is my next step to getting rid of my mental diseases. Thank you for any, and all for taking the time to read this overly long statement. I appreciate any help.
Organizer
Michael Accurso
Organizer
Tucson, AZ
