Neil’s money for nothing campaign

So: some numpty in America has started a GoFundMe for Kylie Jenner because she only has $900,000,000 to her name, the poor lass, and if everyone chips in to raise an extra $100,000,000 it’ll make her America’s youngest billion and there’ll be peace on earth ... or summat.

I’m about £,999,999,500 off being a billionaire, but seeing as I’m not a greedy bogger all I’m asking for is a grand.

Please chip in what you can. Every quid you lob in my direction is a quid that doesn’t go to a member of the Kardashian clan, and that should be reward in itself.

I promise that any monies raised will be spent on booze, books, holidays and classical music recordings. So you’ll also be donating to a more cultural cause than Kylie Jenner.

G’wan, lob us some moolah. You know it makes sense.